Why Are All The Immortal People Like, Perpetually Around 25?

Reblog if you are

Nono see that’s schroedinger’s weedburger. Neither legal nor illegal but probably a hell of a time whatever the result of the jury

I need you all to understand this kid is like 8 at the oldest and has that sleepy nasally little kid voice which makes this far funnier

Currently watching a play and I’m fairly certain the little kid behind me just said (completely unprompted) “what the skibidi”

haha pardon my french but what the actual phoque

what. It’s almost 2025. I still haven’t recovered from 2020

I find exercise-induced injuries to be such a joke. Like I’m going for a RUN and I’m getting IN SHAPE and I’m getting ENDORPHINS and it feels GOOD and then my body is like fUCK YOU have some shin splints

Almighty Tumblr user Teaboot, what is your wisdom?

uh

You don't have to eat the gross jellybeans, you can just eat the ones you like, they have no nutritional value so there's nothing wrong with tossing em, candy is for fun not for food

Spiders and other household bugs are repulsed by cedar and lavender- you can get cedar balls online like how people used to sell mothballs and use em to keep spiders out of your closet

When you unplug an appliance from a wall there may still be an electrical charge in it for a sec so don't touch the metal end of the plug or you might get zapped a bit

Tiger's eye gems are a type of asbestos so if you crack or chip your tiger's eye you should probably not wear it anymore idk I'm not a rock scientist

If you wanna stay warmer when camping you should leave your sleeping bag rolled up until the moment you go to bed cause the fabric can absorb humidity in the air and make it damp and colder. Also fresh socks before you go to bed, even if your day ones still seem dry

Rayon, Viscose, and Lyocell are all made of plant fibers

Capsaicin is fat soluble, so if you eat something too spicy then drinking milk or cream will wash it away better than water. Swishing with vinegar should also work too if you're desperate

Fish are WAY more maintenance than you think they are. Goldfish can live well over a decade under proper care. Fish are not "easy" pets for the love of God. And they're smarter than you think they are

People having seizures are not going to swallow their tongue. At worst they may bite it. Hitting their head on something is a far bigger risk. Don't put shit in their mouth.

Children are more sensitive to bitter tastes as an evolutionary safety measure against accidental poisoning. If theycdont like eating something because it's bitter, remember that the taste is stronger to them.

Most symptoms of hauntings are also symptoms of gas leaks and black mold. Whether or not you believe in ghosts you should probably check you're not being poisoned before you drop money on a spirit medium

Purple skittles are grape flavour in some places like North America and blackcurrant in places like the UK. I personally prefer blackcurrant

Saguaro cacti can weigh literal tons and will crush you to death if they fall on you

Palm trees are technically grass

Male character: I'm not attracted to women.

Fandom: Oh, he's gay.

Female character: I'm not attracted to men.

Fandom: Oh, she's a lesbian.

Any character: I'm not attracted to anybody.

Fandom: Well, we don't know that they're ace/aro/aroace. It's open for interpretation. They're not canonically ace/aro/aroace unless they specifically say they are.

Hmmmm. I wonder why we're so frustrated in fandom spaces. I wonder if there's a reason.