Not A Single Ounce Of My Self Worth Depends On Your Acceptance

To Me

From Me

Love You

Love Me

Happy Valentines Day

WE ARE THE REAL ART .

“Modern Degenerate”

A Collaboration with Cass Meehan & Rose Slavin

Black

Native

Queer

Woman

Non-binary

Artist

Activist

Humans

Breathing

Living

Humans

Who’s voices will never be silenced

Who’s art will not be controlled

Who’s feelings will never be censored

Who’s creativity will roam and explore

Live and breathe

On its own

In this world

The modern degenerate

The outcast

The dream

This is the only translation that lays it out like this. I don’t want to read it any other way.

Diversity

I grew up as one of the only black kids in my bubble

There were kids of color but not in my honor classes

Not in my neighborhood

My mom didn’t live near my family she didn’t like them that much

So we were separated

What I know is general black history knowledge

What I knew is what tv taught me

And then my mom didn’t even let me watch spike lee or roots till I was in high school.

What I crave is dates stories histories and facts

In the push for diverse material and works to spark conversations , faculty aren’t prepared to lead conversations.

It’s like we just want to start discussions but no one knows what to say.

We want to include people in conversations but the story you want me to present I don’t have

It’s hard to speak up for the black experience and be that voice when I don’t feel secure about my own blackness.

I too want to talk about different cultures

I too want to be educated

You can’t look to me to educate you when I am looking to you to educate me.

This is why representation matters

Because if you don’t know

And I don’t know

Then who does?

Who can educate us

Who can spark these conversations

Who will teach the unspoken history

Who will rewrite the textbooks

Who can give us the language to begin to explore what we truly wanted to talk about.

Identity

The other

When we read Lynn nottage I can’t tell you what black people think about the work

I can tell you what I think

But please tell me what Lynn was thinking

Tell me about her experiences and how it came through in her story

I can relate

Maybe

And if not then glad we all shared a conversation over this single perspective

I dream about being a mom more then anything else

I’ve dreamed about my family more then my career my house, my card, the dog.

I’ve dreamed of copious amounts of children

And excited that I was their mom

All just bursting with excitement when I hugs them kissed them

I want to be the one they run to when they cry

I want to tell them it’s okay to cry and understand how to make it better

I want to be the one they call mom

I want to be their provider

Their confidant

I want years down the road for them to call and apologize for yelling me when they were 13 because now they see that I’m right

I want to create children who know how to love

Who love themselves

Who can feel so empowered to change the world.

I want to be a mother to change

I want to be a mother to droppings of love

I want to kiss baby toes

I want to cry at evey graduation and wedding

I want to cheer them on at games

And edit papers

I want to be a mother so bad

But who am I now

And who will I be for them to be proud of

Who will I be before I can be in a position to be a mother

And who’s the father???

Who’s dad because he’s just as important in this scenario

But back to the point

I want to be a mom more then anything

Can’t tell me this ain’t love

I sat through a class today where the teacher said,

Discrimination happens. I’m not gonna sit and pretend it doesn’t. But also sometimes you have to decide personally when to speak up and when to ignore it because your here to do your job and you can sit and take the nonsense .

I disagree.

If there’s nonsense then it needs to be stopped.

If there’s discrimination of any kind to any degree, it needs to be acknowledged, addressed, and put to rest.

If you have to walk away from 100 jobs because they’d rather have someone who will sit and take it instead of your courageous and worthy work, then you have to walk away.

In walking away you turn tides.

No walking away you leave your imprint.

Who cares if you can take a punch and keep walking

You don’t have to.

You don’t have to let the next person take it.

If you walk away do it with an impact.

Make it known why you walked away.

Let other people know why you walked away.

If they didn’t correct themselves and try it again, that’s up to the next ones to work out.

But love yourself

God will provide

His will is for you to have the best.

You don’t need to push through if you don’t have to.

You’re a human

And if someone can’t see that, or won’t act like it

They don’t deserve you, your time, your energy, or your work.

Point blank period.