To Me

There are 7 billion people on the planet and not one of them thought they should reach out for me

My life’s mission is to ensure that dreams of others around me are fulfilled.

I want to help as many people as I can

I want to love so hard because I don’t want anyone to feel as unspported as I do.

They say what goes around comes around

Treat others the way you want to be treated

Love thy neighbor as they self

Lead by Example

I’ve strived to be the best friend , neighbor, partner, person that a person could exist next to

I’ve crafted scenarios for people to gather and be happy around me

But have failed to have people want to gather with me

I’ve failed at being invited

I’ve failed myself

I’ve stayed in relationships way longer then I needed to

Or wanted to

Because I didn’t want to be alone

I stayed with an abusive man and tried to make myself what he wanted just so I could be the girl who he wanted to love.

I just wanted some to think I was deserving of love

I’ve crafted parties to invite people over in hopes that theyd like me.

They enjoyed themselves and then continued to ignore me day after day.

My parties came and went and no one but me remembered what we did

No one but me cared

No one but me ever remembered my birthdays

When I’m sad I send a text looking for a conversation

But It’s hard for people to hold on to them with me

Or it seems like it’s hard for others to check on me before months have flown by

Yes, I’m the friend who always calls first.

My own grandparents don’t even call to check on me

Ive exhausted myself reaching out to others being the only one to maintain relationships.

Ive said I’m only gonna interact with people who care to interact with me

And then I grow even darker when the truth settles in and it’s just me and Jesus sitting in a room staring at each other.

JC is great don’t get me wrong

He’s the only reason I even know what love is

He’s the reason I keep giving day after day

Sometimes I think I’ll get real friends when I’m older

I’ll have built my empire up and then when I’m exactly where I’m suppose to be at the exact moment I’m suppose to be there, I’ll look around at all the like minded people I’ve loved and who have loved me sitting around a table and I’ll be grateful.

Greatful that there were real friends for me I just had to be patient to find them.

But it’s sad to think that that day isn’t today and the chances of it being tomorrow aren’t any brighter

Maybe next week

Maybe next year

Maybe when I move states, Change my name, shave my head and morph into the Person who people want to be friends with.

Real friends.

Friends who think of you and just send you a message.

A gif

A tag in an article.

A friend who just lets you know they love you.

Until then I’ll keep trying to be that friend.

I’ll keep putting that energy and that love out there

And I’ll do my best to graciously wait for it to return.

2 Years Into My 20s

I am two years into my 20s

And I have 100 years left to go

Humans have a lifespan of 120 years

But I feel like this is the year I set my mark for the 100 year dash

This is the year I begin.

I have 100 years to fulfill my purpose

100 years to see through God’s plan

I have 100 years to leave my legacy

To change the world

What I do now will effect our future

The choices I make will ripple throughout time

The people I make will carry my life in their lungs

I have 100 years to do my part

100 years

Minimum

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Sometimes I stare into the mirror trying to see if I can see my soul . Sometime I see something scary. Sometimes I see me . Sometimes I just notice my eyes, and the shadows of the eyelashes.i notice my nose and all the pores that are open and the ones that are clogged. I notice a lot about me , but I don’t always see me. Sometimes I don’t trust mirrors.sometimes I think they’re lying to me. Sometimes I want them to tell me the truth. I want them to show me me. But it’s hard to see what I see and accept what I see. Because what am I really looking at? I was looking for me but did I see me ? Or did I see my eyes. Or did I see my soul? What am I ? Who am ? What do I see? What does everyone else see?

Blooming Different

Black and Blessed

Black excellence is not achieved when your standards are less then excellent.

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Michelle Obama meets her deadlines

Serena Williams doesn’t come late to practice. Nor does she come unprepared.

Madam CJ Walker didn’t make her million by letting her dreams stay dreams.

Oprah didn’t wait for things to be handed to her. she created and fulfilled opportunities by her own means.

We are not excellent simply because our skin reflects gold.

We are excellent because we work for it.

Because we are blessed and highly favored.

God doesn’t give to those who don’t work.

God does not give to those who do not work.

Ask and you shall receive , seek and ye shall find, knock and the door will opened unto you.

If you don’t ask you won’t receive

Pray for everything and receive double that.

Seek and you will find.

If you walk around clueless but do not search you can’t find the treasures that are hidden away only for you.

Everyone may be looking for gold but it’s only though God that you will find it.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you.

If the door of opportunity presents its self to you and you do not present yourself to it. You’re going to remain in the same spot outside of a closed door.

The door is not waiting for you to knock.

You have to get up and knock on that door before someone else does.

You have to go find that door, to knock.

You have to ask for the door to even be a door before you can go find it and knock on it.

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To be black and blessed.

To put God first.

To work for your blessings.

To know that your skin color does not define you.

Ask, Seek, knock

I belive that art is life

Whatever you do in life you put into your art

Whatever life throws at you,

You use it to influence your art.

My life is art

I want to change the world

through my art

When the resources are right in front of me

When the opportunity has presented itself to give me the best way and means possible to do just that

I snatch it.

I have asked

I have sought

And I have knocked on any door I think has something for me behind it.

I can’t talk about wanting opportunities and then when they arise not taking advantage of them

You cannot see the door pop up and then sit and talk about what a beautiful door it is.

You cannot talk about all the things this door could do

You have to knock on it

And get whats on the other side

You have to knock

You have to knock

You have to knock

Knock knock knock knock knock knock

I take whatever I have asked for.

I claim all the blessings that are for me

It’s frustrating to see part of your blessing is out of your control

But it’s not gonna stop me from doing what I have to do to claim my rewards

I speed and I shall reap

What God has for me

it is for me

Today,

I found my bathroom to be particularly interesting.

Why don’t we take photos with curiosity anymore.

Well

Why don’t I take curious photos anymore

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“Dark skinned and I’m stuck up (yup)”