I’m Free On Thursday If You Wanna Start A Toxic Codependent Thing

I dreamed the Pope announced a new deadly sin called 'sluttony' and everybody was really excited to try it.

Putting some sort of bra on a mermaid is equivalent to docking a doberman pinscher or clipping a birds wings

told my girlfriend that if she proposes i want a secondhand wedding ring. i explained i don't want to contribute to a vanity-based industry like diamond mining, and that it would be important to me to continue marriage traditions in a way that causes minimal environmental and personal harm. she asked me if i was just trying to roll the dice on obtaining a haunted object, and i told her i can want two things.

I was trying to find out if Kermit was eligible to be pope and I found a blog that says he's the perfect example of a catholic priest

Let’s sleep with mama

let's stand with mama

now dance fucker dance man he never had a chance

love my pumpkin

scary my pumpkin

I wish jonathan harker a very pleasant and normal business trip