you have more degrees of freedom than you think
you can completely reinvent yourself in well under a year with sufficient commitment
you probably make at least one decision every day which will meaningfully alter the path you’re on if you change it
this is terrifying but it’s also maybe the best thing about being alive
as long as you’re breathing, there’s a chance
UP your water intake! no more bloating here.
7-10k steps a day. move. your. body — walk, chores, park farther. don’t take shortcuts, do it all!
probiotics, protein, fiber.
prioritize whole foods.
educate yourself for an hour a day. NO EXCUSES. listen to podcasts/youtube videos/audiobooks. read an article or book. learn how to cook better or take care of your skin type. just learn something! don’t let your brain be wasted away. it CRAVES growth.
HAVE ADMIN DAYS. make your to do lists, set 3 priority tasks and set 15-20 minutes of uninterrupted time to tackle them. boom.
stop aimlessly shopping. you have everything to need to live. save up! your future self will thank you.
Hayao Miyazaki
I saw an article called “Make Peace With Your Unlived Life” and it really made me stop and think. So much of our lives is mourning for what we didn’t become. It’s a waste. We didn’t waste any opportunities. What came and went was not meant for us.
Reading a diverse array of books, articles, and essays on different topics and skills that interest you
Take a language, art, cooking, or professional skills-building course (like coding, graphic design, social media, etc.)
Take long walks and try out different workouts/workout programs
Get creative in the kitchen, try out new recipes and meal ideas
Create fun mood boards, playlists, etc. Refine your signature style, preferences, and aesthetic
Watch interesting movies, films, YouTube videos, and listen to different podcasts
Journal, write, draw, dance
Streamline your wardrobe, makeup, and beauty routines. Do a closet clean out, or rearrange your home decor. Experiment with makeup, hairstyles, nail designs
Get organized. Clean up your space, hygiene, and digital environments (phone, laptop, iPad, etc.)
Take time for self-reflection: Get to know yourself, your values, what you want out of life, what & who gives you energy, and those places or people that drain you
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This era is all about embracing your highest self by focusing on career growth, self-improvement, and relying on a supportive community of like-minded women. It’s a time for productivity, success, and expanding knowledge—while nurturing creativity and self-expression. Ideally, this is a time to invest fully in yourself, uplift others, and build a foundation of success, knowledge, and meaningful connections.
Girlboss Mindset:
★This mindset mainly focuses on career, financial, and personal growth.
★Grind in school and/or work: prioritize studying, aim for all As, get the promotion, network with intention, dress for success, and continue honing professional skills
★Engage in self-improvement workshops (solo or group) once or twice a week on topics like public speaking, financial literacy, tackling your weaknesses, learning important skills, etc.
★Intellectual enrichment and skill building: read daily, listen to audiobooks, learn new skills or hobbies (like learning a language or DIY projects)
★Stay active & healthy: set a workout routine and stick to it, learn self-defense, do weekly pilates and core strengthening, start running, and stick to a healthy diet plan with real food
★Be proactive and cautious: get the fazer pepper spray or other protection, run errands (gym, store) during the day, avoid going out alone at night (even in safe areas), and stay aware of your surroundings.
★Civic duty: listen to informative podcasts from neutral/objective sources (NPR on spotify), if possible participate in public forums and town halls, engage with elected representatives, volunteer, and stay informed for every election especially local
Grandma Mindset:
★This mindset primarily focuses on self-expression and self-care through fulfilling activities and a supportive community of like-minded women.
★Get into gardening & live a self-sufficient life— you can start off with a small garden with herbs you use regularly.
★Set aside time each day for self-expression through nurturing old passions or new ones like journaling, poetry, art, crafting, sewing, etc.
★Prioritize self-care through meditation, grounding techniques, self-love practices, etc
★Shift your social energy from clubbing/bars/dating apps to meaningful connections and prioritizing activities that bring out your best self.
✧Instead of paying to party and being around strangers, try hosting/attending house gatherings, book clubs, wine nights, potlucks, etc with women & trusted allies.
✧Embrace alone time, create a regimen, do self care, do things independently, etc
✧Build a supportive community of women where you can connect, express your thoughts, and share experiences. This space allows for open discussions about potentially harmful/sketchy situations or people, helping everyone stay informed and safe.
✧Redefine dating: focus on self-growth and consider celibacy or, at the very least, raise your standards. Take time to get to know anyone new and prioritize safety by meeting in public spaces and avoiding going back to their place if you barely know them. Also trust your intuition.
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The Gnome falls in love with the Princess, from The Brown Fairy Book by Henry Justice Ford (1904)
Sorry to break it to you but you literally have to face your fears and slaughter them. Otherwise you will live a small life that you do not want. You literally have to view your biggest fears and attack them head on. You have to fall into the abyss to find your way out. The easy path does not exist. There is no get out of jail free card. You have to allow yourself to die a spiritual death over and over again in order to reinvent yourself into the person you are actually supposed to be. And you have to be painfully honest with yourself and the people around you. It’s horrible but it’s truly the only way.
a guide to looking effortlessly perfect
"You’ve got the false narrative of a girl who spends 30 seconds on her appearance, when, in fact, you probably spent hours.”
1. basic hygiene:
having clean teeth and good breath
smelling good 24/7. i highly recommend finding a signature scent as a scent is associated with memory, id suggest something sweet yet not too overpowering like vanilla.
being clean in general. regularly shaving and exfoliating your skin to get rid of bodily hair and dirt that accumulates on your skin to make your skin glow.
clean nails. having clean and maintained nails (with a simple design if you wish) looks better than having acrylics that are wayyy too long and appear tacky.
2. hair :
having smooth healthy hair looks much better than dry and damaged hair. take care of your hair by finding the best products for your natural hair. get rid of your split ends as they make the hair appear really damaged.
in my opinion, loose waves look the most effortless yet pretty. but don’t ruin your natural hair by applying too much heat! you can try heatless styling methods to achieve this look.
3. diet and exercise :
being toned is the way to go to fit this aesthetic
avoid oily foods or sugary foods that damage your skin. don’t completely get rid of these as we all have our cravings, but try your best to avoid it
find a workout plan that works best for you, keeps you healthy but doesn’t burn you out! moreover exercise releases endorphins that improve your mood.
4. makeup and skin care :
natural makeup on clear skin fits this effortless aesthetic perfectly!
take care of your skin by finding a routine that fits you the best, consult with a dermatologist for the best results.
having smooth, blended makeup creates an illusion that you aren’t wearing any at all! this appears much effortless than a full face. also try to avoid those really huge false lashes that make you look tacky.
maintain your eyebrows and find a shape that fits you best!
5. outfits :
having a signature style which suits your body type is essential. experiment until you can find what suits you best! you can use a body analysis app for this.
wearing outfits you’re confident in, hot but not too revealing goes a long way. confidence is key. wearing overly revealing clothing might seem like one is trying too hard, but if you can carry it with confidence then that’s great!
jewellery : having dainty, signature pieces is key! find out which suits you better (gold or silver) through an ai analysis and invest in timeless pieces. personally, i think minimalistic pieces such as solitaires, simple pendants, classic hoops etc. look much more effortless.
6. personality :
don’t be too judgemental towards anyone as you don’t know what they’re going through and this makes you seem unapproachable
don’t talk too much or overshare! this creates a mysterious aura which draws people to you more
confidence is key! posture is very important too, carry yourself with confidence and walk with your head held up high.
7. examples and references :
serena van der woodsen (gossip girl)
mia thermopolis (the princess diaries)
cher (clueless)
elle woods (legally blonde)
rory gilmore (gilmore girls)
robin scherbatsky (how i met your mother)
gigi hadid
Keep your standards high. For yourself, your relationships, your career, and everything. Don't settle for less; know your worth. <3
Don't tolerate people who put you down, lie to you, or try to take advantage of you. The more you allow people to mistreat you, the less they will respect you. Stand up for yourself!!
Don't chase. What belongs to you will find you, and the people who care for you will stay by your side. So don't make a fool out of yourself by chasing something that's running away from you.
No more people pleasing. Learn to say "no". You don't have to apologise or explain yourself; saying no is completely fine.
Figure out which people in your circle make you feel good and who is draining your energy. Don't surround yourself with those who waste your energy.
Take care of yourself. How are you going to be confident and respect yourself if you don't care for yourself?? Invest time, energy, discipline, money and love into becoming the best version of yourself. <3
Be mindful and selective of who you trust. Don't take criticism from people who you wouldn't take advice from.
Your boundaries are non-negotiable. Boundaries are about how you respect yourself. If someone oversteps them, cut them off!
2023 is our year of self-growth, what better place to start than setting boundaries and learning to respect ourselves? Wishing everyone a successful and beautiful January!! <3
✩‧₊*:・love ya ・:*₊‧✩
40 Examples of Self Abandonment 🤕👎💭💔
Self-abandonment means not taking care of yourself, your needs, and your feelings. It's like ignoring what's good for you and not being kind to yourself normally in a way that benefits everyone but you.
Not eating well or exercising.
Pretending to be happy when you're not.
Working too much without breaks.
Staying in a bad relationship.
Letting people use you.
Forgetting about things you enjoy.
Not saying what you want.
Always doing things for others.
Not asking for help when you're sad or stressed.
Being alone when you need friends.
Saying mean things to yourself in your head.
Giving up your dreams for others.
Avoiding problems instead of solving them.
Never taking time to relax.
Ignoring how you look or feel.
Not asking for help when things are too hard.
Trying to be perfect all the time.
Doing things that hurt you, like drugs or danger.
Changing who you are to fit in.
Not being yourself and doing what others want.
Ignoring your body when it needs rest or sleep.
Letting others make decisions for you all the time.
Keeping your feelings bottled up inside.
Surrounding yourself with people who bring you down.
Not pursuing your interests or hobbies.
Saying "yes" to everything, even when you're overwhelmed.
Putting up with disrespect or mistreatment from others.
Not giving yourself credit for your accomplishments.
Skipping important appointments or check-ups.
Holding onto grudges and negative emotions.
Comparing yourself unfavorably to others.
Not taking breaks when you're stressed.
Neglecting your financial well-being and overspending.
Ignoring signs of burnout or exhaustion.
Avoiding seeking help for mental health struggles.
Ignoring your own intuition and gut feelings.
Overcommitting and spreading yourself too thin.
Constantly seeking validation from others.
Letting fear hold you back from trying new things.
Dwelling on past mistakes and not forgiving yourself.