Marchesaofthemountains - Marchesa Of The Mountains

FORMAL COMMUNICATION 102 : HOW TO NOT SOUND LIKE A STREET RAT

Your pitch should be one notch lower than your natural pitch. That forces people to have to stop and listen to hear you. It forces attention and you come off as a very self assured person that doesn't need to shout.

Dont use abbreviations or short forms while speaking. Don't = do not, etc= etcetera. When you properly articulate the the full [form? Idk] you seem confident

Speak from your diaphragm, not throat, and breathe through your nose not mouth.

Practise practise makes perfect.

Read read read. Our vocabularies are influenced by literature and art. Watch old Hollywood movies, read the classics, drop the rap and street 'lingo'. When you come across a new word recite it.

Apps. I use Vocabulary for new words , I've heard great things about speeko too.there are great apps for this

Cut out, COMPLETELY, (at least from your verbalized words) cuss words. Nothing says no class like dropping the f bomb every minute. Now, I need you to have a flexible cadence enough that you can talk to both cardi b and the queen of England in their comfort zones,don't go priest mode but pick your audiences carefully. [There is a tasteful way to cuss, there is, I however can not accurately articulate it but it exists. I think UK based movies have the best depiction of it. Somehow sounds classy. It's hard to tell how c*unt can sound classier than b*itch but it happens]

I'm not sure what they're called but the [tbh, lol, lmao, irl, fml] , yes, that. It stays within your group chat.we don't use these short forms? Verbally. Texting to our age group and that's it

Stick to formal titles as appropriate, sir, Ma'am, miss, etc.

Do not call people by their nick names. Unless they hate it. Bonus points for their surname. A Persons full name will always be classier than their nick name. Hello Amanda >> hey Amy

Teeth teeth teeth speak from your teeth missus. Sounds pronounced from your teeth somehow sound elevated since you're not swallowing your words.

Pace your words. If you're nervous or shy you tend to speak too fast and swallow words which signals very low value behavior because do you not think you are good enough. Word by word. As an ADHD the advice I got (that worked) was to slow my thoughts down. When your brain is 5 words ahead of your voice box you tend to run and try catch up, never helps

. Breathing exercises, love

Custom terms of endearment. Everyone is saying babe and sweetie and hun to their besties, elevate yours and make it your signature. 'Love' will always sound classy. Depending on your relationship it could be anything silly and fun yet value sounding. Pumpkin>> Bae

Pick a cadence and stick to it. [With the select audience. If you speak to Cardi B like a journalist from 1800 Britain you've lost, if you speak to the queen like an officer of the thot patrol you've lost. Customize but stick to it. No one loves a phony]

When you don't understand a word, ask what it means. If someone uses a word you are not familiar with ask about it, it's better than misinterpreting and sounding stupid.

You know that Kardashian intonation thingy that everyone sounds like now? Sentences that sound like questions? a sentence ends with a falling intonation, that is that. Asking questions is a lower position, it signals the other knows so they're superior. Even when asking questions for God's sake don't sound like Kourtney Kardashian. Make your intonation flat, short and precise.

Posture posture posture. Yes it matters

Filler words , yeah. We no longer use that. "It was like, uhm, you know, just like-" shut up and collect your thoughts. Non native speakers we do this a lot in our learned language, filling in the blank spaces while mentally looking for the elusive word. It's better to say outright you do not remember the word for it or fill in with your native word and explain after. For those of us that speak more than three languages though good luck (I literally just say, wow this word isn't available in my English word Bank. Let's get to it later)

If you can't properly pronounce it, begin with that announcement. "I'm wearing, and I apologize to all of France for how I pronounce it, Yves Saint Laurent"

Ask questions after receiving answers. Short questions. "I see" "Oh really" "is that so" " who would have thought " " thats really it then" "you mean that" . The other person feels more at ease and there's a little Psych mojo bojo that makes you sound classy and wildly attractive [for keeping the conversation going)

70% of communication is non verbal. We will talk about that later. The girls that get it get it the girls that don't find out

Funny enough the simpler the vocabulary the classier it is. Do slip in some big words but no one cares for a dictionary level conversation you sound phony and egocentric. The magic is in your phonemic command.

Never. Argue with a native.

The company you keep. Birds of the same feather flock together if you're in the street gang gang club you will inevitably sound like the street gang gang club.

Accents. You don't have to get rid of yours, Accents have a uniqueness to them that sets you apart, but you do have to be comprehendable. If your accent is so thick only your native group can understand you it's time to think speech therapy.

In honor of this anon ->

//Hello

How do I upgrade my vocabulary to become more classy , elegant and over all respectful//

Go be that bitch sweets

I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:

It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.

Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.

1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.

2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?

3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?

4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”

5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.

6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)

things i’m no longer doing for the rest of 2023

using inappropriate language this goes beyond just cursing; it also includes making dark jokes, making “seggsual” innuendos, self-deprecating humor, and verbal negativity (gossip and saying negative things about self, others, or future plans).

allowing men to take up my time without them giving any type of investment in me my time is valuable, and it’s hard to gain complete access to me, let alone a little bit of access to me. phone calls will be cut short, texts won’t be too lengthy, and if they want to see me, they need to schedule and confirm a date with me.

accepting the bare minimum from not only others, but myself also everything i do from this moment forward needs to be 110% my best. i show up, i work my best, and i leave knowing that i did everything i could in that given time. i’m not leaving any room for regrets this year.

drinking alcohol because of my job in the nightlife industry, i find myself to drink a lot more than i should to help me get through the night. i usually feel gross the next day, it adds to any mental hardships i face, and it’s just not good for my body overall. the only times i will drink this year is if it’s my birthday, new year’s eve, or any other special occasion like a holiday or a special person’s birthday— if so, i’m limiting myself to one glass of high quality wine or champagne. tequila and any other spirit is an absolute “no” for me.

not keeping promises to myself if i say that i’m going to do something, i’m going to do it. i need to build trust with myself and that will allow me to also have more positive thoughts about myself and trust that whatever it is i want in life, i’ll have it because i’m used to keeping promises to myself.

Back in March, I went out for drinks with some colleagues from my vanilla job. A couple rounds in, one of them confessed to me that she’d wanted so badly to hate me when we first met, because I was beautiful, confident, put together, and always seemed to get what I wanted. But she got to know me- my personality, kindness, and work ethic- and realized that no matter how badly she wanted to hate me, she couldn’t.

Babes, this is the way to live your life. Be so gorgeous, poised, self assured, and successful that the people around you- especially women- want to hate you. Be so kind, funny, charming, clever, and hardworking that they can’t possibly bring themselves to do it.

stay well-kept. stay endlessly evolving. tend to your creative gifts. smell divine. be selective. cook something new. write something true. keep fresh flowers. make decisions that age well. spread light to those in need. pray often & sincerely.

How I manipulate people into giving me what I want

As y’all probably know I’m obsessed with social psychology and have read countless books on how to influence the opinions of others without much effort. Anyway, I was just able to get a first class ticket on a fully booked flight (I missed my original flight by over 2 hours) so I thought I’d share my general technique of manipulating people into doing favors for me :)

1. I approach them with completely open and non-aggressive body language. I walk over with a full smile, I make eye contact for a second, smile, look away, and make eye contact again (people hate prolonged eye-contact, it intimidates them), I raise my eyebrows (to show recognition), and I don’t get too close (people don’t like their personal space violated).

2. When I reach them, I make an empathetic statement. The thing is, people think the world revolves around them so the way to get anyone to like you is to make them feel…like the world revolves around them. So I make a comment like, “Wow, you must be having such a busy day” or “So, those other customers were driving you crazy, huh”. This allows them to not only feel empathized with but also acknowledged.

3. I let them compliment themselves. So in my plane ticket scenario, after giving my empathetic comment of “So, you must be really busy this morning”, I followed it up with “it must take so much patience to deal with so many cancellations”. The guy behind the counter was elated and immediately said “Yes, I’ve been doing this for 20 years and it’s really forced me to be a calm and patient man”. By allowing him to compliment himself, he didn’t have to feel that I was being fake and also felt better about himself. After that comment, I was able to ask him about his experience working at the airport and build genuine rapport for about 5 minutes (of course, focusing the entire conversation on him).

4. I add a sense of urgency. Adding a time frame to a matter is incredibly helpful because it forces your company to think of immediate solutions. So after our really pleasant chat, I simply went “Do you know where I can go to get on a flight to London? I missed my flight and have to get to class by early afternoon.” Adding a “why” to a request is also helpful because according to studies, when people have context for a request they’re much more willing to fulfill it. In response to my question he immediately began looking for the first flight out to the UK.

5. I let them offer. I never directly ask for something, it’s too intrusive for a stranger and puts them in defense mode. Instead, I wait and let them offer. I could’ve asked him to get me a new ticket and I could’ve asked him to upgrade me, but instead I let our relationship develop organically and worked on his subconscious to get him to feel inexplicably grateful for my presence and therefore like he owed me for making his day better. It’s always best to allow them to offer to help, that way they feel like they’re in control which of course, people love.

That’s it! Works like an absolute charm and no, pretty privilege has nothing to do with it :)

This is a masterlist to help you , elevate your mindset. It only works if you actually implement it , just watching videos and daydreaming, will not.

I'm always open to suggestions to add any videos to this , just send me an ask or a comment

how to master your emotional intelligence

"friends" to watch out for

you are a queen , u were born one

bye bye lazy girl era

the song jia effect

overcome your phone addiction

acceptance and change

learning to value

not taking risks , is the biggest risk

the perfect student

your enemies are secretly addicted to you

creating a successful mindset

mindset is everything

being your own dream girl

stop being lazy and pathetic

Your environment shapes your self image & mindset more than you imagine. Deep cleaning instantly makes everything feel lighter like you’re wiping away old energy and making room for something new. Moving your bed to a different spot might seem small, but waking up from a new angle can literally shift your perspective. Adding a plant to your bedside table brings you fresh energy. Throwing away things that remind you of your old self – If it carries weird energy or feels tied to a version of you that no longer fits, it’s gotta go. Make space for the new you. Your space is a reflection of you so when you refresh it, your mindset naturally follows

hi there! i’ve always struggled with being lazy and unproductive. but recently, i decided i want to start being ambitious because i know it will be healthy. but i have no goals to be ambitious for. sure, there’s daily things like exercising more and things, but i don’t have long term goals. i don’t know who i want to be when i grow up or what i want to achieve in life. any tips?

The ambition quest: Mapping out your path to success

Explore your interests: Take the time to try out different activities and hobbies. Whether it's painting, coding, dancing, or even rock climbing, experimenting with various interests can help you discover what truly excites you.

Reflect on your values: Think about the things that truly matter to you. What do you value most in life? Is it creativity, helping others, personal growth, or something else entirely? Identifying your core values can guide you towards meaningful goals.

Dream big, start small: Don't be afraid to dream big and envision the future you desire. Then, break those big aspirations down into smaller, achievable goals. This way, you can make progress step by step while celebrating the small victories along the way.

Embrace trial and error: It's okay to try different paths and make mistakes along the way. Life is a journey of self-discovery, and sometimes we need to explore different avenues to find what truly resonates with us. Embrace the process and learn from every experience.

Seek inspiration: Surround yourself with positive role models and seek inspiration from their journeys. Read biographies, listen to podcasts, or follow influential people in fields that interest you. Their stories can spark ideas and motivate you to pursue your own ambitions.

Visualize your ideal future: Take some time to imagine your ideal life in the future. What does it look like? How do you spend your days? Visualizing your desired future can help you gain clarity and set goals that align with your vision.

Get out of your comfort zone: Growth happens outside of our comfort zones. Challenge yourself to step out of familiar territory and try new things. Pushing your boundaries can lead to incredible personal and professional growth.

Find a mentor or role model: Connect with someone who has achieved success in a field you're interested in. Their guidance and insights can provide valuable direction as you navigate your own path.

Be open to change: Remember that goals and aspirations can evolve over time. Stay open to new opportunities and be willing to adapt your plans as you grow and learn more about yourself.

Enjoy the journey: Embrace the process of self-discovery and goal-setting. Life is all about the ups and downs, the challenges and triumphs. Embrace each step along the way and find joy in the pursuit of your ambitions.

I hope this helps!! xx