Had To Scour Through My Watch History To Find These Videos I Watched Ages Ago But If I Had To Recommend

Had To Scour Through My Watch History To Find These Videos I Watched Ages Ago But If I Had To Recommend

had to scour through my watch history to find these videos I watched ages ago but if I had to recommend the most helpful and actually practical fashion advice I've heard, it's from these videos, ESPECIALLY the second video (linked bc I seriously want you to watch it. like literally, go watch it). It's not telling you what aesthetic to pick, it's not telling you to get rid of your sambas, it's not telling you to get a capsule wardrobe or only stick to classics. highly recommend ♡

More Posts from Marchesaofthemountains and Others

A few notes on indulging in media consumption

When I pay attention to what media I consume and how those make me feel, I realize some of the things I enjoy actually affect me negatively on the long run.

I enjoy listening to Miss Taylor Swift and get nostalgic about previous loves as much as anyone, but I have to realize I gain literally nothing by doing that - I only get drained.

I quite like some shows (and some high quality ones are worth watching, art puts life into perspective) but binge watching Elite will never be as valuable as sitting down to study Castillian Spanish and I have to act accordingly.

I dislike overly-dramatic tear-jerkers, victimhood-inducing news, and all types of media indirectly promoting pity parties.

Writing this as a reminder for myself, as I quite enjoy such stuff from time to time. One needs to discipline herself in terms of what she puts into her brain.

With love,

Marchesa


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8 months ago

ultimate IT girl guide

a guide to looking effortlessly perfect

"You’ve got the false narrative of a girl who spends 30 seconds on her appearance, when, in fact, you probably spent hours.”

1. basic hygiene:

having clean teeth and good breath

smelling good 24/7. i highly recommend finding a signature scent as a scent is associated with memory, id suggest something sweet yet not too overpowering like vanilla.

being clean in general. regularly shaving and exfoliating your skin to get rid of bodily hair and dirt that accumulates on your skin to make your skin glow.

clean nails. having clean and maintained nails (with a simple design if you wish) looks better than having acrylics that are wayyy too long and appear tacky.

2. hair :

having smooth healthy hair looks much better than dry and damaged hair. take care of your hair by finding the best products for your natural hair. get rid of your split ends as they make the hair appear really damaged.

in my opinion, loose waves look the most effortless yet pretty. but don’t ruin your natural hair by applying too much heat! you can try heatless styling methods to achieve this look.

3. diet and exercise :

being toned is the way to go to fit this aesthetic

avoid oily foods or sugary foods that damage your skin. don’t completely get rid of these as we all have our cravings, but try your best to avoid it

find a workout plan that works best for you, keeps you healthy but doesn’t burn you out! moreover exercise releases endorphins that improve your mood.

4. makeup and skin care :

natural makeup on clear skin fits this effortless aesthetic perfectly!

take care of your skin by finding a routine that fits you the best, consult with a dermatologist for the best results.

having smooth, blended makeup creates an illusion that you aren’t wearing any at all! this appears much effortless than a full face. also try to avoid those really huge false lashes that make you look tacky.

maintain your eyebrows and find a shape that fits you best!

5. outfits :

having a signature style which suits your body type is essential. experiment until you can find what suits you best! you can use a body analysis app for this.

wearing outfits you’re confident in, hot but not too revealing goes a long way. confidence is key. wearing overly revealing clothing might seem like one is trying too hard, but if you can carry it with confidence then that’s great!

jewellery : having dainty, signature pieces is key! find out which suits you better (gold or silver) through an ai analysis and invest in timeless pieces. personally, i think minimalistic pieces such as solitaires, simple pendants, classic hoops etc. look much more effortless.

6. personality :

don’t be too judgemental towards anyone as you don’t know what they’re going through and this makes you seem unapproachable

don’t talk too much or overshare! this creates a mysterious aura which draws people to you more

confidence is key! posture is very important too, carry yourself with confidence and walk with your head held up high.

7. examples and references :

serena van der woodsen (gossip girl)

mia thermopolis (the princess diaries)

cher (clueless)

elle woods (legally blonde)

rory gilmore (gilmore girls)

robin scherbatsky (how i met your mother)

gigi hadid

Ultimate IT Girl Guide
Ultimate IT Girl Guide
Ultimate IT Girl Guide
Ultimate IT Girl Guide
Ultimate IT Girl Guide
Ultimate IT Girl Guide
Ultimate IT Girl Guide
Ultimate IT Girl Guide

Dear dream girl, I really want to be my dream girl but I don’t know where to start. I feel unmotivated most of the time and I only get a burst of motivation at like 3 am. I just what to glow and radiate good energy for myself and find/do what I like

Oh, So You Wanna Be a Dream Girl? 🎀

starting your dream girl journey

Dear Dream Girl, I Really Want To Be My Dream Girl But I Don’t Know Where To Start. I Feel Unmotivated
Dear Dream Girl, I Really Want To Be My Dream Girl But I Don’t Know Where To Start. I Feel Unmotivated

Congrats on choosing yourself and your tiara; I am so proud. Prepare to not be liked, to be judged, and to stand out. It’s lonely at the top.

*this guide is for starting the process, not reaching the end result because my version of my own dream girl is inevitably different than yours. bare in mind i’m not holding your hand. i’m nudging you in a good direction.

what is a dream girl?

a dream girl is a girl that has finally fallen in love with who she sees in the mirror. she’s the girl that she can depend on. she has her desired look and she’s on the path to self actualization actively. she’s aware of her branding. she holds herself to the standards she holds other to; and they are HIGH. her self worth isn’t contingent upon a love interest, amount of money, or social status. she’s simply that girl.

do some healing.

yes, i said it. healing. like i’ve said before, you cannot put glitter on literal garbage. that’s not even the slightest bit appealing. you’re gonna journal about your childhood, your biggest influences in life, your biggest fears and how you feel life has treated you. this calls for shadow work. shadow working really helped me figure out some of my toxic traits and how some of the things that were considered normal to me as a child have affected me in the long run. you’re also gonna write hypothetical letters to your loved (and not-so-loved) ones, including yourself. let it all out. say everything you want that person to know. around you or not, dead or alive. prepare to clam up, cry, get angry, feel anxious. good. you should. you feel clammy, hot and sometimes pain when your body is fighting off and healing from a physical sickness. now you’re dealing with the developmental, mental, and emotional parts. you’re doing yourself a disservice choosing to stay the same toxic, nasty, mean, or victimized person you’ve always been.

what do you want?

before you can start to even do the smallest improvements, you have to have a clear goal. or else you’ll just be running around in circles (heh) over grandiose blurry wishful thinking. ultimately resulting in you giving up and choosing to be basic bc it’s easier. what do you want out of life? how do you want to be treated? what do you want to do? what makes you happy? and most importantly, how do you want to feel? see, it’s more than just the frills and glitter. you have to know what you’re trying to get to, internally and externally.

Dear Dream Girl, I Really Want To Be My Dream Girl But I Don’t Know Where To Start. I Feel Unmotivated

grab a diary, adorn it with pretty little details and commit to it. pair it with your fav writing utensil. outline all of your goals. every single last one of them. you can categorize them, scale them from short to long term, easy to hard. it doesn’t matter. do absolutely what you want to do to make a concrete record of your goals that’s digestible for you.

what are you going to do?

Dear Dream Girl, I Really Want To Be My Dream Girl But I Don’t Know Where To Start. I Feel Unmotivated

*fabulosity by kimora lee simmons*

compare your dream reality to the one you’re currently experiencing. what is she doing that you aren’t? that’s it. do that. anyone can read blogs about the process and other people success stories but those posts aren’t gonna change your life unless you get up and go for what you want. i don’t know what exactly you desire out of life. you do. so you have the instructions for this journey. the first part was easy, this is simple but not nearly as effortless. it’s up to you and not anyone else. you teach others how to treat you. improvements you can make include better: hygiene, self talk/treatment, outward energy, work ethic, discipline, health, consumed content, relationships, looks, habits.

the work

it’s time to apply yourself. get up everyday and actively work towards your goal. be kind to yourself. take yourself to the doctors. get active. eat right. find your passion. DO THE HEALING.

everyone’s journey is SO different so i’m just going to do a quick rundown of the importance of each of the ten facets of your dream girl journey (that build upon each other. ie; looks do not benefit you when your hygiene is insufficient):

*these facets are loosely based on maslow’s hierarchy of needs

Dear Dream Girl, I Really Want To Be My Dream Girl But I Don’t Know Where To Start. I Feel Unmotivated

health - are you taking care of yourself? please treat yourself how you would your loved ones. you’ll be surprised how physical issues manifest mentally, and vice versa. get adequate sleep. take baby steps if need be. some of these adjustments may be huge to you. be gracious with your journey.

consumed content - everything you engage in is your diet. the company you keep, food you eat, music you enjoy. you get the idea. do you feel light and ready to take on the day? or do you feel drained and sick more often than not. make some adjustments wherever you see necessary.

hygiene - extremely important. stick to a routine for your hygienic needs. you should have rituals you engage in everyday. don’t forget that your health and hygiene go hand in hand. oral and feminine hygiene is so crazily important. please don’t neglect yourself. i talk about my routines in detail here.

habits - daily habits are so crucial to your lifestyle. adjust these and consciously break your bad habits by supplementing your life with equal and opposite habits.

self talk/treatment - simple. be kind to yourself. hold yourself accountable for flaws and mistakes while loving yourself enough to be patient with the journey of improving.

outward energy - be very aware of the vibes you’re permeating. again this is so a huge determination of how you will be treated and how you will live your life.

work ethic/discipline - it’s gonna take serious accountability to escape the desire to stay comfortable. you have to tell yourself that you deserve *your desired end result* so i will *make specific change/adjustment.* it’s that simple (again simple doesn’t mean easy).

relationships - if you don’t like the way you’re treated by those in your life, those relationships need to be reevaluated. you can make some trims on your circle, have some honest conversations, or adjust your behaviors (because sometimes, YOU are the problem).

passion and career - in order to feel fulfilled in life, we all need a purpose. discover yours. incorporate your passion into your daily life.

looks - develop your signature and hone in on it. looks are very important to your perception (self and public). check out this guide to help with this part. however you wanna feel is how you should display yourself.

be a dream girl!

you’ve discovered all the facets of creating your dream self and reality. now it’s time to apply what you’ve learned. start showing up in life in the fashion you want to be seen in.

that’s it! the rest is up to you!

- xoxo, dreamgrlarchive 🎀

Dear Dream Girl, I Really Want To Be My Dream Girl But I Don’t Know Where To Start. I Feel Unmotivated

I’ll never understand people who tell everyone ALL of their business and then get shocked when people become so invasive. STOP TELLING PEOPLE YOUR BUSINESS AND SHUT UP! Literally, people need to understand the power of privacy and not telling every single person your next move.

I really can’t with these ‘femininity guide’ posts that want to have women behaving like they just time-travelled from 1955. Getting in touch with your divine feminine is fundamentally about authenticity, not performance. Marilyn Monroe, Rihanna, Meghan Markle, Monica Bellucci, Dita Von Teese, Saweetie, and Amal Clooney are markedly different types of women but they are all rightfully considered feminine. 

If the vintage, old Hollywood vibe is authentic to you, then by all means, please embrace it. But if that is just not who you are, you will end up performing for the rest of your life. The unifying factor that makes all the aforementioned women attractive is their confidence. They carry themselves with an air of grace and self-assuredness that is irresistible and undeniably feminine. Obviously take care of your appearance, move with grace, and practice etiquette, but don’t put on a costume. You won’t be able to keep up the act forever, and people will eventually see right through it.

Here are my personal tips for cultivating divine feminine energy:

Practice following your intuition. Our patriarchal society places a huge premium on logic but it is very healthy and necessary to honor your emotions. Check in with yourself to gauge how you’re feeling in different situations. This makes it easier to set healthy boundaries and choose what is right for you.

Connect more deeply with your body. For me, this looks like yoga, breath work, and dry brushing. Practice listening to your body and honor what it tells you.

Practice self-inquiry. Interrogate your assumptions. Ask yourself why you have certain reactions to things. Engage with your shadow self, don’t run away from it. 

Cultivate openness, compassion, love, and gentleness towards the world and yourself.

Explore your sensuality. Make it a point to appreciate and celebrate beauty in your life. Surround yourself with aesthetically pleasing things and enjoy sensual pleasures. 

Explore your sexuality. Female sexuality is often policed which leads to sexual hang ups that need to be overcome. Interrogate and heal hypersexuality as well as hyposexuality. Get to know yourself intimately. I took burlesque and pole dancing classes to learn how to tap into the more sexual part of me.

Create ritual and sacred space. My nighttime routine is very important to me. I do my skincare, haircare, and bodycare, pray, and just get in touch with myself. Carve out some time in your day to do the same, whatever it looks like for you.

To put it simply, getting in touch with your femininity should be a spiritual practice. I’m happy to elaborate if anyone has questions.

 GUIDE TO THE MINDSET GLOW UP 🎀
 GUIDE TO THE MINDSET GLOW UP 🎀
 GUIDE TO THE MINDSET GLOW UP 🎀

GUIDE TO THE MINDSET GLOW UP 🎀

♡ | positive mindset

easier said than done, but it has such a huge impact in our life. we as humans tend to always think negatively of everything, resulting us to give up. but what if it will work out? what we think constantly reflects in our reality and actions. why do we have to always blame ourselves for everything, why do we have to be anxious over little things, why do we have to always think of the worst when we can just flip the words, meaning, love and believe in ourselves.

- ways to have a positive mindset

the bus theory - when u see the bus that you missed u don’t actually run after it, right? you just wait for another one, knowing that it 100% will be here. think of your opportunities/relationships etc that you’ve "lost" as this bus.

the universe/god never says no; it either says yes , not yet or I have something better for you.

practice self-care, be gentle to yourself. you are waking up and always trying and it’s enough.

the moments you thought that are the "worst" are only moments now, and you’re still here. Be proud of yourself for that

a little rain doesnt have to ruin the parade

practice meditation. clean mind = better mood

journal journal journal (I’m going to make a post of journal benefits soon)

this absolutely doesn’t mean that you always have to be positive about everyone and everything. If you feel sad or feel like crying let it all out. if you feel drained allow yourself to sit all day and watch shows. it’s all about accepting yourself and not "I’m such a failure I did nothing today" instead "it’s okay, I have tomorrow where I can try again".

♡ | discipline > motivation

motivation comes and go, but discipline is forever. you are scared and not trying? It’s okay, do it while being scared. count to 3 and start doing something, take action. just DONT sit around. have a plan and don’t try to do everything all at once, or you will be easily drained . everyday do something better for 1% and you’ll see how just in a short while this 1% will be 100%.

a very good episode of mimi’s :

Apple Podcasts
‎Show MIMI, Ep #394: Using Visualization to Create The Life You Truly Desire w. Daniel Chidiac | Mimi Moment - 13 Sept 2023

♡ | kindness to yourself is kindness to everyone

treat yourself with love and respect before others. everyone in this world is a human and I do not wish for you or them to spread hate. we all have bad days and this is exactly why we should so self-care or reach out to someone, but never blame anyone for anything.

you don’t owe anyone anything, but kindness and respect.

what you give is what you receive.

respect is not earned, disrespect is.

♡ | no one knows you better than you do

no you are not horrible for the mistakes that you’ve made. do you know what makes you horrible? not acknowledging them. if you wronged someone, apologize. even if it’s too late and the relationship is lost, I’m so proud of you for realizing your mistake and trying to do better. learn AND improve. accept yourself for all the pluses and minuses. you’re a crybaby? good because I’m too, and it’s absolutely okay. In fact, I think vulnerability is very powerful. you are human and you don’t have to be perfect. thrive for being better not perfection. do not listen to rumors or someone thinking that you are a bad person. you in fact know that you are not and it’s all that matters. why do you care if you are enemy in their story , they aren’t heroes in yours either.

insecurity is loud, confidence is quiet.

♡ | boundaries

to stay away from toxic people you have to have boundaries. I think the most common type here is "people pleasing" so here’s my post to help you to stop being one.

when someone does something that makes you uncomfortable, please let them know about it. you don’t have to tolerate this behavior. your own peace is the most important thing ever.

if they still repeat their actions then well … it’s time to say goodbye.

if you think that you will "lose" everything by setting boundaries please go back to the top and read the "ways to have a positive mindset" :)

watch youtubers, listen to podcasts etc to connect with people like you and improve your mindset alongside with boundaries.

here’s my list of my favs, but you can find waaaay more on tumblr

♡ | confidence

be confident, trust yourself, and never let anybody put you down. If anybody puts you down, it’s because they’re jealous. – Adriana Lima

do not compare yourself with ANYONE. the person you are looking at and saying "I wish I was her" might be doing the same. compare yourself with YOUR dream girl that you have in your head. your only competition is you.

after boundaries, positive mindset, discipline, naturally comes the confidence. loving yourself and staying true to yourself is what confidence exactly is.

no fake it till you make it, no difficult words, just you . take it easy.

♡ | tip: body language and fitness

this is more on the physical side but I advice you to learn a little bit about body language. It helps you to appear confident and attractive. my "go to’s" are entering the room with high head and good posture, never sitting on your phone (as in checking the weather app awkwardly etc not when someone calls or texts u) when coming to an unknown place.

fitness helps to relieve stress and clear out your mind when you don’t want to meditate. and by fitness I don’t mean intense workouts, a 5 minute workout that you enjoy is enough. also walking 10.000 steps a day also counts as fitness to have a healthy and balanced life.

I , for example, have a playlist with different workouts and I do each on of them on different days, whenever I feel like choosing one. sometimes I don’t even work out I just walk 7-10K steps :)

— the end ♡

in conclusion I just want to say ITS OKAY ITS OKAY ITS OKAY. You are fine. You are enough. Make mistakes, be sad, improve, be disappointed, try, love, learn, thrive. The purpose of this post is for you to understand that DONT exist , LIVE. Because life is worth living for. You were, are, will be okay.

Set behavioral goals! It is such a game changer. Instead of setting goals that you can not 100% control, for example “I want to weigh XXX amount” set behavioral goals such as “I want to exercise for at least 30 min 4 days out of the week”.

You have so much more control over your behavior/actions which means it will be easier to maintain and thus helping potentially reaching your end goal. Focus on creating goals related to behavior change that include action steps!

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marchesaofthemountains - Marchesa of the Mountains
Marchesa of the Mountains

fabulous, disciplined, committed

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