My Fridge Is Filled With Champagne, Organic Produce, Green Tea, And Leftovers From Upscale Restaurants.

Charles James Ball Gowns, New York, 1948

Photograph by Cecil Beaton

How to Feign Your Life is Together

Have a signature accessory, clothing article, make up look, or hair style.

Have a fragrance. Make your hair scents and lotions match your perfume.

It’s okay to dine alone. Bring a book or people watch.

Love your hair. Research the best brands for your hair type and use masks weekly.

Your nails don’t need to be fancy, but keep them maintained.

Stay worldly. Know works of art, artists, designers, films, books, politicians. Spend your lunch break reading the paper or a magazine.

Crying is not a weapon. It’s okay to feel your emotions, but never use them as an excuse to avoid your problems.

Jealousy is boring. Love and appreciate others. If you can’t love them, forget them.

Boost others. Flatter others, but don’t deprecate yourself in the process.

Don’t sulk. Don’t let the whole world know your problems. If you don’t want someone to give their opinion, don’t share your situation.

Your life is between you and the universe. Don’t post your personal matters for others to see.

Don’t emotionally blackmail others. They hurt you? Let them know and then move on. It’s between the two of you and not the world.

Cook dinner. Cook dinner and listen to music, the radio, or a podcast.

Treat yourself to candles and flowers. Be your own cheerleader.

Take naps. Take a cat nap on a Sunday afternoon with the blinds open and the fan on high.

Drink your water, eat your vegetables. Take care of your body.

Never have time to take off your jewelry before bed, but always have time to take off your makeup. Your nighttime skin regime is important.

Mystery is beautiful. You don’t need to reveal much of or about yourself.

Never appear other than as you are. Don’t lie about yourself. Embrace who you are at your core.

being taken seriously

when it comes to debating or professional settings, if you want to be perceived as more put together, then heres my advice :)

mannerisms:

have good posture!

maintain good hygeine

look clean and put together

always have fresh breath and clean teeth

having a good scent to you always helps

make eye contact with people

speak in a clear tone

don’t raise your voice, be able to speak calmly (i’m talking about when you debate with people, yelling is just kinda rude and makes other people scared lol, also doesn’t look mature)

work on not interupting people, let other people talk!

walk with your head up high! this goes with posture, walk like you have a crown on your head :)

take care of yourself and work to better yourself

attitude:

educate yourself

be open minded

be self-aware about your short comings

know when to keep your mouth shut and when to not engage in conflict

stay out of drama

don’t let other people bring you down

always act confident

eliminate self-depricating humor

remember- bringing other people down is insecure behavior!

show respect and manners to other people

be kind to other people, give them compliments, smile

be open to other points of view, really listen to other people and reflect

Emotional contamination

You are responsible of your own life. Not other's. No one is REQUIRED to take care of yours, so why do theirs?

Your emotions influence how you live through your day. Either you let them dominate, and pass from one emotion to another (and be.under constant tension&stress), or you let them go when it's time, learn your lessons, and continue on with your day.

If you're careful of how you compartmentalize your day, you'll have overall better days compared to before. Letting go of anger, sadness, jealousy is compartmentalizing.

Constant excercise of this skill makes you better at it, and you'll be able to curate better your own life. Don't despair if you can't let go of things right away. This comes with exercise and previous experience ("I did that, therefore I can do this"). Give yourself grace.

Other's emotions also influence you, your day, and your life. Other's actions are (for most people) projections of their values and their emotions. If they're looking at the world through an angry lens, they're also contaminating you, with their interactions with you. So on for other emotions, positive or negative.

Some people consciously raise up negative emotions in you as a way to get dominion over you. It's sometimes very discreet.

You may be excellent at controlling your own self, your mind, letting go and finding lessons in everything, but all these efforts are doubled, or tripled when you surround yourself with people that just can't do the same as you, because you both have to take care of yourself AND offset their projections onto you.

People: family, ex you keep around, friends, partner. No one is spared in the eye of the glowupper.

That's why I strongly recommend to just snip them off or keep them far away from your inner space.

If you don't have to offset the projections produced by people unable to handle their own, it means you have extra time, mental space and energy to dedicate into other essential endeavours.

Those that are aware of their emotions, know how to take care of them, and protect other's minds from their own when it's gone bad, are rare but you'll notice them right away.

So, maybe it may be painful at first, but it's better being alone than surrounded by miserable people. The perks come later and in unexpected ways. Looks like a bad deal at the moment, but one gotta learn how to think further than the next day.

Other's pains and anger isn't your issue to solve. You aren't their mom. They're not your responsibility.

I am in no way saying that the ideal is to be in plain bliss all the time. Feelings are intrinsically human, but what we can control is how we act about those, and what space they'll occupy in the psyche.

Some people focus on others pains as a way to avoid confronting their own issues, they think "hey, I'm a good person I help others" but the best helpers are those that help themselves first. If you're one of those, this post is specifically pointed for you.

💎

Aphrodite’s dark side | Epithets

Evidence of a cult of a warrior and dark Aphrodite has been widely studied. Aphrodite had been depicted with armor and prayed to for martial assistance in many places from Syria, to Corinth, Sparta, Argos, the Attika, Kypris, Rome, Naxos, and many, many, other places (but mainly Sparta. Surprising, no?). The cult of a warrior Aphrodite has been suspected to have emerged from Aphrodite’s “ancestral” correspondents like Istar or Astarte, who were both goddesses of sex and war. However, the evidence of a dark face of Aphrodite is there, and it can be too called upon today, even if it wasn't as popular as her holy and hevenly aspects.

Enoplios — weapon bearing

This is an epithet of Aphrodite attested by Plutarch, and is also epigraphically present in the Roman period. In the third century AD a priestess, Ponponia Kallistoneiké, set up a dedication to Artemis Ortheia in Lakonia attesting one of her fellow deities was Aphrodite Enoplios.

Summakhia — ally in war

Pausanias finds a cult of Aphrodite “ally in war” in Arkadia. This is all the comment I could find about it.

Nikephoros — victory bearer

In Argos, according to Pausanias, Aphrodite wore the epithet “victory-bearer”. Icons of Nikephoros and Hoplismene (armed) Aphrodite have been also attested in Syria and Eretria.

Areia — of Ares / war-like

At Sparta mainly, there is a lot of evidence of icons portraying an armed Aphrodite with inscriptions of this epithet. Pausanias tells us of one in a temple behind the Bronze House of Athena. There is another female wearing a peplos, a helmet and a spear, but without the aegis that characterizes Athena, thus many suspect it belongs to an armed Aphrodite.

HOWEVER Leonidas of Tarentum writes in the third century: “Eurotas once said to Kypris (Aphrodite), ‘Either take up arms, or quit Sparta, the polis mad for arms.’ She, laughing, replied, ‘I shall be ever unarmed.’ She said ‘and I shall dwell in Lakedaimonia.’ Our Kypris is unarmed. Shameful are those tale-tellers who say that our goddess bears arms!”

BUT from Antipater of Sidon, in the first century, there is a contradiction: “Even Kypris is Spartan. She is not dressed as in other towns in soft garments; But in full-force she has a helmet instead of a veil, instead of golden branches a spear-shaft. For it is not proper for her to be without arms, the consort of Thracian Enyalios (Ares) and a Lakedaimonian.” And this is not the only record we have of an actual Aphrodite wearing armor in Sparta; Plutarch, Nonnos, Julianus of Egypt and perhaps others tell us about the Spartan tendency to portray Aphrodite wearing an armor; either bow and quiver, spear and helmet, a shield, and even a sword. So perhaps Leonidas was either being sarcastic or lying (or the cult of Aphrodite Areia came after him, of course). This Epithet is thus related to Hoplismene. Julianus tells us that in the sanctuaries of armed Aphrodite girls revere her war-like nature and women give birth to courageous children.

Above all, Pausanias also claims that this Aphrodite was specifically worshipped as a female Ares. This gives us a clue whether this Aphrodite had been syncretized with Ares’ actual femenine counterpart, Enyo (Ares has an epithet related to her: Enyalios)

Androphonos — killer of men

This epithet is representative of her chthonic aspect. There is evidence of a sanctuary of hers and Aphrodite Anosia in Thessaly.

Anosia — the unholy

Aphrodite Anossia apparently was celebrated by women in Thessaly, and she is associated with homosexuality (although this is doubtful). Atheneus tells us a tale of a hetaira (courtesan) named Lais, that flee to Thessaly and fell in love with a man. A band of jealous women beat her to death at Aphrodite’s temple and thus the goddess in this temple became known as Anosia, the Unholy.

Tumborukhos — gravedigger

The Pythagoreans said there are two Aphrodites: one in heaven and one in the Underworld. Therefore she was called Tumborukhos as well.

Epitumbidia — she upon the graves

Couldn't find much information on this epithet either but it must be related to the previous one and representative of her Underworld connections.

Skotia — dark one

This epithet is referent of Aphrodite’s origins as a terrible goddess, and her associations with the planet venus, which were suppressed later by the pop cult (not the association with the planet, tho). This epithet appears to link her to the Erynies and Hekate, and may be referent of a “witch-star” (kakkab kassaptu in ancient Babylonian) nature. The lack of evidence for these type of epithets points at an unpopularity of them. It is important to highlight that some of them could be use against the goddess to give her a bad or “demonic” reputation in the christian sense so I suspect their suppression might have a relation to that.

Melanis — black

Related to the previous epithet. It appears that these “dark” and “unholy” aspects of her are related to the planet venus, as points her Ouraneia (“heavenly”) epithet as well. Venus was known as a “star of lamentation”.

Persephaessa — Queen of the Underworld

This epithet appears to be a syncretism between Aphrodite and Persephone. This is obviously mainly an epithet of Persephone. I could not find evidence for it being used to Aphrodite in the ancient world, just commentaries about it; however, by searching it on google you find an archeological source of it but sadly its written in german, and I have no idea how to read german.

Hoplismene — armed

Pausanias tells us about the sanctuary of Aphrodite at Kythera, saying that there “the goddess herself is an armed xoanon”. The xoanon were archaic wooden icons, and this one, according to Pausanias, was wearing an armor. Quintilian once asked why the Lakedaimonians (Spartans) have an armed Aphrodite, and Plutarch said that they like to portray every god in armor to show that all of them have excellence in warfare. This Aphrodite is present in Corinth as well.

Hegemone — leader (of the troops)

This Epithet of Aphrodite is found in the Athenian Agora, and their border fortress at Rhamnous. The city council also offered dedications to this Aphrodite. There are figures of her engaged in combat with the giant Mimos, and other portrays Aphrodite in a chariot wearing Athena's aegis (although it lacks the gorgon face), along with Poseidon. Hesikhios confirmed this epithet in the sixth century AD saying it applies to Artemis as well. This Aphrodite was also offered sacrifices with Themis and Nemesis, in honor of Aeneas, her son.

Strateia — campaigner

In the Hellenistic period, Aphrodite was called Strateia in western Asia Minor. There is an inscription from Mylasa refers to a priest of Aphrodite Strateia, and a calendar of offerings specifies sacrificing to Aphrodite Strateia along with Arete and Herakles. In Paros and Epiros, strategoi (military generals) are known to have sacrificed to Aphrodite, along with other deities.

Enkheios — spear-bearer

Hesikhios, an author from the 6th century AD, tells us about a terracotta Aphrodite in Cyprus depicted holding a helmet in one hand, a spear, and a shield leaning against one of her legs.

Conclusions

Can we use these aspects of Aphrodite even if they have been exaggerated and weren't actually very much present in ancient cult? Of course. Because worship changes and evolves, if you find one of these epithets symbolic in your life and devotion, you can totally use them and even give them a different dimension. As a witch, for example, I could use the dark and unholy epithets of Aphrodite as a symbol of how witchcraft has been regarded as evil in superstition and a reminder of the persecution women have gone through, and it would be an act of devotion to the Goddess and an act of empowerment. The unpopularity of many of these epithets is also representative of stigma against women and thus using them today could be attested as an act of rebellion.

References

Stephanie L. Boudin, Aphrodite Enoplion

The Other Side of Aphrodite

William Manning, The Double Tradition of Aphrodite’s Birth and her Semitic Origins

Yulia Ustinova, The Supreme Gods of the Bosporan Kingdom: Celestial Aphrodite & the Most High God

Laura McClure, Courtesans at Tables: Gender and Greek Literary Culture in Athenaeus.

John Opsopaus, The Ancient Greek Esoteric Doctrine of the Elements: Water.

Aeon Journal, Aphrodite

What to plan at the beginning of each month

- Mani / Pedi

- Hair trim every two months

- A facial

- Date night by yourself or with your s/o

- A day spent completely by yourself

- Deep clean room

- Write down important events for the month in a calendar

- Spa day

- One breakfast / lunch / dinner with friends

- Pick a day to learn something new

- A day / weekend spent outdoors (hiking, camping, kayaking, grounding)

- Deep condition hair with mask

- Give yourself a new routine

- Throw away things (or people) that no longer serve you

- Plan your month goals in a journal

things i’m no longer doing for the rest of 2023

using inappropriate language this goes beyond just cursing; it also includes making dark jokes, making “seggsual” innuendos, self-deprecating humor, and verbal negativity (gossip and saying negative things about self, others, or future plans).

allowing men to take up my time without them giving any type of investment in me my time is valuable, and it’s hard to gain complete access to me, let alone a little bit of access to me. phone calls will be cut short, texts won’t be too lengthy, and if they want to see me, they need to schedule and confirm a date with me.

accepting the bare minimum from not only others, but myself also everything i do from this moment forward needs to be 110% my best. i show up, i work my best, and i leave knowing that i did everything i could in that given time. i’m not leaving any room for regrets this year.

drinking alcohol because of my job in the nightlife industry, i find myself to drink a lot more than i should to help me get through the night. i usually feel gross the next day, it adds to any mental hardships i face, and it’s just not good for my body overall. the only times i will drink this year is if it’s my birthday, new year’s eve, or any other special occasion like a holiday or a special person’s birthday— if so, i’m limiting myself to one glass of high quality wine or champagne. tequila and any other spirit is an absolute “no” for me.

not keeping promises to myself if i say that i’m going to do something, i’m going to do it. i need to build trust with myself and that will allow me to also have more positive thoughts about myself and trust that whatever it is i want in life, i’ll have it because i’m used to keeping promises to myself.

hi there! i’ve always struggled with being lazy and unproductive. but recently, i decided i want to start being ambitious because i know it will be healthy. but i have no goals to be ambitious for. sure, there’s daily things like exercising more and things, but i don’t have long term goals. i don’t know who i want to be when i grow up or what i want to achieve in life. any tips?

The ambition quest: Mapping out your path to success

Explore your interests: Take the time to try out different activities and hobbies. Whether it's painting, coding, dancing, or even rock climbing, experimenting with various interests can help you discover what truly excites you.

Reflect on your values: Think about the things that truly matter to you. What do you value most in life? Is it creativity, helping others, personal growth, or something else entirely? Identifying your core values can guide you towards meaningful goals.

Dream big, start small: Don't be afraid to dream big and envision the future you desire. Then, break those big aspirations down into smaller, achievable goals. This way, you can make progress step by step while celebrating the small victories along the way.

Embrace trial and error: It's okay to try different paths and make mistakes along the way. Life is a journey of self-discovery, and sometimes we need to explore different avenues to find what truly resonates with us. Embrace the process and learn from every experience.

Seek inspiration: Surround yourself with positive role models and seek inspiration from their journeys. Read biographies, listen to podcasts, or follow influential people in fields that interest you. Their stories can spark ideas and motivate you to pursue your own ambitions.

Visualize your ideal future: Take some time to imagine your ideal life in the future. What does it look like? How do you spend your days? Visualizing your desired future can help you gain clarity and set goals that align with your vision.

Get out of your comfort zone: Growth happens outside of our comfort zones. Challenge yourself to step out of familiar territory and try new things. Pushing your boundaries can lead to incredible personal and professional growth.

Find a mentor or role model: Connect with someone who has achieved success in a field you're interested in. Their guidance and insights can provide valuable direction as you navigate your own path.

Be open to change: Remember that goals and aspirations can evolve over time. Stay open to new opportunities and be willing to adapt your plans as you grow and learn more about yourself.

Enjoy the journey: Embrace the process of self-discovery and goal-setting. Life is all about the ups and downs, the challenges and triumphs. Embrace each step along the way and find joy in the pursuit of your ambitions.

I hope this helps!! xx

Your environment shapes your self image & mindset more than you imagine. Deep cleaning instantly makes everything feel lighter like you’re wiping away old energy and making room for something new. Moving your bed to a different spot might seem small, but waking up from a new angle can literally shift your perspective. Adding a plant to your bedside table brings you fresh energy. Throwing away things that remind you of your old self – If it carries weird energy or feels tied to a version of you that no longer fits, it’s gotta go. Make space for the new you. Your space is a reflection of you so when you refresh it, your mindset naturally follows

2023 reset guide

Glow up

2023 vision board. Visualize your dream 2023 and write down your goals!

Daily Hot girl walks. No excuses, babes; let's get moving!

Reflecting on 2022. Look back at what you've accomplished and what you could have done differently.

Make a Bucketlist. Write down places you want to visit and things you want to do.

Extended self-care. Take some time to yourself to recover from the stressful holidays and get back on track. <3

Buy a good SPF. Do some research and find something that works for you!

Start Investing in yourself. Money, time, and energy. Put yourself first!

Annual check-ups. Make a dentist appointment, go to the optometrist etc...

Buy a Silk pillowcase. Protect your skin and hair!

Set clear boundaries. And make sure that people respect them!

Less screen time. Self-explanatory.

Manicure, lash lift, haircut. High maintenance to be low maintenance! ;)

Wellness

Daily vitamins. Visit a doctor to discuss which ones you should be taking for the best results.

Morning stretches. Wake up your body and drink some water!

Skin/hair care. It's time to find products that actually work for you.

Reading more literature. Set yourself a daily reading goal.

Planned grocery lists. Make a grocery list that aligns with your dietary needs and goals to make shopping less stressful. <3

Less coffee. Especially if you struggle with anxiety!!

More greens and protein. Let's give our body what it needs.

Journaling. Truly helps with overthinking!!

8 hours of sleep. Beauty sleep. <3

Cooking for yourself. Such a cute form of daily self-care.

Yoga. Or just any low-impact exercises in general.

Deep cleaning

Organizing your closet. Only keep things that make you feel beautiful.

Budgeting. Check your bank account and plan ahead.

Clean your hairbrushes. Trust me...

Donating clothes. Donate the items that you don't wear anymore.

Clean your make-up brushes. The first step to clear skin!!

Fresh sheets. Wash your pillows too.

Charge your electronics. IPad, Mac, Camera etc...

Get rid of expired make-up and skincare. Step 2 to clear skin, lol.

Declutter stationary. No need to keep dried-out pens.

Delete old emails. I currently have 1840...

Delete unnecessary apps. Anything you don't need.

Clean your camera roll. Making some space for new memories! :)

Cut out toxic people. <3

Mindset

Pretty, smart, kind, and prioritising myself.

Positive affirmations!!

Your daily habits play a huge role in your mood/life. Be mindful, and take care of yourself.

It's okay to outgrow people!!

Decide what kind of life you actually want and start saying no to everything that won't get you there.

"I'm attracting opportunities that align with my dream life."

A girl who will do big things can't let small things bother her.

Honestly, reinvent yourself over and over again until you are satisfied with who you are.

Do you want to be comfortable, or do you want to grow?

"Am I doing this for me, or am I performing for others?"

very high standards. VERY HIGH STANDARDS.

Be obsessed with yourself.

2022 has been such a life-changing year for me, not only personally but also regarding my social media! As I already said on Twitter, I'm incredibly grateful for this little community that has formed this year, and I'm excited for all the things that lay ahead of us! I wish everyone a successful 2023 with many beautiful moments and lots of growth!!

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩