Platonic Caretaking Is Everuthing 2 Me Especially W The Ada + Atsushi. He Probably Gets Really Anxious

i like when people give atsushi cat-like traits like purring or having sharper-than-average canines and i think we should take it a step further and just keep adding onto it. atsushi should chuff. he scratches on walls and his desk until there's obvious nail marks digging into the wood. he rubs against the others to mark them as his territory. there has to be a meeting held because he won't stop shedding and there's white hair everywhere so a good portion of the agency's budget goes into getting everyone lint rollers. he freaks people out at night because of his tapetum lucidum. and he does all of this subconsciously so if you tell him he does any of these things he'd be absolutely mortified

No thoughts, just Atsushi having tiger instincts. Atsushi having a special pillow he hides in his futon just for kneading. He hides the pillow because he was shamed for his tiger instincts at the orphanage, but as he opens up to the ADA more, different members get to see his more suppressed instincts (they think its the cutest thing ever). Dazai is the first to discover the pillow and Atsushi gets super scared before Dazai reassures him that its okay and that he thinks its adorable. This is the first time Atsushi has ever been allowed to express his tiger instincts, and in happiness, he rubs his cheek against Dazai. Dazai is shocked and Atsushi is too after disengaging with the cheek rub but Dazai quickly regains his composure and hugs Atsushi back, while rubbing his cheek. Atsushi is incredibly overjoyed about Dazai (his family...!!) scenting him and expressing his love for Atsushi that he starts chuffing too. Dazai screams

Atsushi with tiger instincts is just so adorable I can't handle it lmao. He's just a cat!!

Just as a side note to the Runaway sskk au: Kyouka is saved from the mafia by Akutagawa.

Atsushi was never the level that og!Akutagawa was as a mentor, but Kyouka was scared as fuck of him because he never took human form near her and was always watching from afar, so she frequently felt like walking on eggshells and like he would kill her if she made the slightest slip during any of her missions.

In reality Atsushi was just trying to look out for her in a way a tiger will usually deal with a cub close to the age of beggining to hunt, tottally unaware of how scary he was for her until she was hiding behind Akutagawa when he came to retrieve Kyouka from the ada and realized she thought of him as a threat.

Day 3 (12/17): pillow fort

@dazaimultishipweek

The moon glowed high above the window.  Its full glory shone blue light upon the living room floor.  Any other person would think of it as peaceful, but the Kunikidazai family wasn’t a group of “normal” people.

Atsushi cowered in the corner, curled up in a ball.

“Don’t let it touch me,” he whimpered. “I’ll hurt you.”

Dazai’s heart ached.  He and his husband, Kunikida, had adopted Atsushi quite recently.  They’d only been together for about six months, and the abuse Atsushi had suffered at the orphanage still haunted him.  Ever since he learned about his ability, he’d been swarmed with fear and worry.  Such things shouldn’t trouble a six-year-old.  That was horrible, even to an ex-mafia executive.

Dazai had to do all he could to quell his son’s fears.

“You won’t,” he assured. “My ability will stop that from ever happening.”

Atsushi shook his head and buried it in his knees. “I’ll get punished if I hurt you.  I can’t… And your ability won’t make Daddy safe.”

His words tore at Dazai’s heart.  He looked at Kunikida for guidance.

“See, I’m a problem,” Atsushi mumbled.

“No, you’re not.  You’ll never be a problem, okay, Atsu?” Kunikida inched towards Atsushi as to not frighten him more. ‘In fact, I think—“

“Go away.”

Kunikida backed off.

An idea sprung into Dazai’s mind. “You know, if the moonlight doesn’t tough you, you won’t turn into a tiger.  So, why don’t we build a pillow fort to block it?”

“A pillow fort?” repeated Kunikida and Atsushi in unison.

“Yes,” said Dazai, motioning for Kunikida to make his way to the couch. “We’ll get lots and lots of pillows, and then the moon will never get you.  But I’m going to need your help.”

Atsushi raised his head. “Will you hold my hand?”

“Of course. Pappy’s got you.” Dazai bent down to Atsushi’s level and extended his hand. “I promise to hold onto you as long as you need.”

Atsushi reached forth his tiny hand and clenched his fist around Dazai’s hand.

“Toss me a pillow, darling,” said Dazai.  Kunikida obliged. “Would you like to go first, Atsu?”

“O-okay.” Tentatively, he took it and pushed it towards the light, making sure not to touch the places the moon shone upon.

“That’s not too hard, is it?”

“How many do I have to do until you don’t hit me?”

Reality slammed into Dazai like a truck.  He nearly choked on a breath.  How dare that orphanage director be so cruel? “I’m never going to hit you.”

“Never?”

“I promise.  Never, not ever.”

“And me too,” added Kunikida. “We adopted you because we wanted to.  We’d never do anything mean to you.”

Finally, Dazai’s heart warmed.  Kunikida had originally been very against adopting a child.  But now, he cared about Atsushi possibly more than anyone.  His words only made that love more apparent.

Atsushi sniffled. “Why are you being nice?  No one was ever nice to me before.”

“Because we love you.”

Atsushi processed this. “You… love me?”

Dazai and Kunikida both nodded. “So, we’re going to all build the biggest pillow fort and keep you and us safe.  Here.” Dazai grabbed a pillow with his free hand. “I’ll go first.  If you just want to watch, that’s okay too.”

He stacked pillows one by one, and after about five of them, Kunikida joined in.

“That’s a pretty big wall,” said Atsushi, gaping at the fort.

Next, Kunikida dragged in two chairs from the dining room and placed them in opposite directions on each side of the fort.

“What are those for?” Atsushi asked.

“Once I put a blanket over those chairs, it’ll be like a new roof.  Then, the moonlight won’t stand a chance.”

He draped a blanket over the chairs as described. “Now, all that’s left to do is go inside.  If you’d like to.”

Atsushi pursed his lips. “Will you and Pappy be in there too?”

“Of course, if you want us too.”

“Okay.”

———————————————————————————————————

Atsushi lay on the bed of pillows, snoring gently.

Dazai hugged Kunikida’s shoulder against his own, smiling at their son.  He didn’t need to say anything.  All he had to do was just watch his dear little boy sleep.

“Are you sure he’s not going to transform?” Kunikida asked. “I really do want to keep my promise.”

“No, I think we’ll be fine,” replied Dazai, shifting his view to Kunikida. “And if he does, all I need to do is touch him.  It’s impossible for me to get hurt by his claws.  But, perhaps it’d be better to sleep in here tonight.”

“I’m fine with that,” said Kunikida. “Anything to let him be happy.”

Portrait Of a Father(?)

I think we can all agree that this is the most controversial chapter in the whole manga. We can’t agree on what its message is, if we are supposed to agree with it, what Asagiri wanted us to think about the characters involved … So, I finally decided to jump in the lion pit and put forward my opinions on it.

I’ll start with a brief recap: Atsushi finds out that the Headmaster of his orphanage, the one who tormented him, is dead. His reaction is … well, if he had been legal for drinking, he would have rushed to buy champagne. A fitting reaction, considering what we have already seen of the Headmaster at this point.

But then we get a shocking revelation: the Headmaster died in a car accident while going to buy flowers for Atsushi, to congratulate him on his successes with the Agency and his great work in saving the whole city. Atsushi is shocked, because … seriously? Eighteen years of abuse, and now he acts like he has always cared about him?

And he expresses his conflicted emotions with a likewise erratic behavior: he runs off from Tanizaki, tries to have a cathartic fight with Akutagawa (who ignores him exactly because of his state of mind), goes to his old orphanage to attend the funeral from a distance, and lastly wanders off to see some conveniently placed families with attentive fathers and young sons.

At this point, Dazai reaches him. And here starts the really controversial part.

They examine together the Headmaster’s background: he appearently grew up in the same orphanage, but at a time when it had even worse conditions, enough to make Atsushi’s time under his education ‘look like heaven’ in comparison. When he got out alongside some other orphans, he quickly fell into a life of crime; then they all got drafted into the Great War, and saw his friends die one by one, until he was the only one left standing. 

This left him with an huge unaddressed trauma and the convinction that his determination and will to live, acquired in spite of hardships, were the only reasons he survived; so he decided to dedicate himself to raising the next generation of orphans according to these principles, creating a system where the priority would have been survival at all costs. 

And the narration, through Dazai, sorts of portrays him positively for that. Attention is brought to how he was tortured worse than Atsushi did, how the fierce mindset underneath Atsushi’s meekness was grown by his treatment of him. If the Headmaster never did so, would Atsushi be so attached to life? Would he have not succumbed to self-loathing?

To answer this, I’ll take the liberty to give first my own analysis, and then consider what the manga probably wants me to answer.

Yes, if the Headmaster had not been abusive, Atsushi would have survived. Much better, I’d add. It is mentioned that Atsushi was nearly killed at his orphanage, more that one time, and let’s remember that he has one hell of an healing factor. If he had been a normal kid, chances are that he wouldn’t have survived … which, besides begging the question of how on earth the Headmaster’s own time at the orphanage could have been worse than attempted and nearly successful murder, makes one wonder how exactly it’s supposed to be formative for the kid.  

Then, the Headmaster is given the credit to have prevented Atsushi’s self-loathing for being a tiger, by becoming himself the object of his hatred. What a martyr. The problem with his reasoning is, that is all the damn story that we see Atsushi have an huge issue with self-loathing! And it isn’t even related to the tiger, most of the times! There are moments where he’s shocked and scared after he went overboard with his power, but the main sources of his problems, the flashbacks that plague him? They’re about his time at the orphanage. 

He regularly remembers, and even has allucinations of, the Headmaster and the other members of the staff calling him worthless, good for nothing, pathetic, unworthy to live, and all sorts of pleasantries of this kind. When he allucinates the Headmaster, that nasty voice in his head is the one who tells him to quit, to give up, that he’s not good enough and he shouldn’t even try to do something with his life. 

Of course, at this point we could rigirare la frittata saying that it’s what the Headmaster meant, to make Atsushi stronger by giving him someone to rebel against … but honestly? There are thousands of better, different ways to teach someone to value their own life. If the Headmaster, given his traumas, couldn’t think of one, then it’s his own damn fault for not realizing that he couldn’t be a good teacher or caretaker before a lot of therapy, and not taking a different life path. 

The one who gives his all despite his insecurities is Atsushi. The one who is willing to face down powerful enemies in desperate battles for the sake of a city he has come to love is Atsushi. The one that didn’t wield to despair and self loathing, pushing forward each and every time, that’s Atsushi. The Headmaster doesn’t have a shred of merit in this. 

Now, time to take a guess at authorial intent. And this is … tricky, that is, for the very simple reason that I can’t get into Asagiri’s head and extract the intended correct interpretations from the multiple possibilities. All I can do is propose the most likely, based on what I can read.

The first possible interpretation: the most obvious. We are meant to take that scene and its message as it is. The Headmaster did terrible things, but he also helped Atsushi in his growth. Our boy wouldn’t be half as strong if he hadn’t already experienced severe abuse, and he’s really got to cry the death of his father figure. Bacia la mano che ruppe il tuo naso perchè le chiedevi un boccone. 

Another possible interpretation is that it’s an acknowledgement of the fact that people are complicated, and it’s fine to have complicated feelings towards them. Warped as he was, the Headmaster truly believed that he was doing what was better for Atsushi. Isn’t it horrible to confront the fact that the person who abused you is not a cardboard villain with nothing inside, but instead a very complex human being who had a ‘benevolent’, if not logically sound, reasoning behind them? Atsushi is not in a good situation: on the one hand, he can’t forgive the Headmaster for what he did to him, but on the other, he can’t ignore the fact that he did it out of “care” for him (wheter of not it did him any good). He, who had repeatedly been told that he was worthless and undeserving, he had been the object of care all along! What’s one to do in such a situation?

Atsushi doesn’t know either. There is no manual with the instruction for the right emotions and reactions to have. 'Quando a mio padre si fermò il cuore' ... magari avessi semplicemente non provato dolore. He ends up looking at Dazai with that face, a very forced smile in the uncertainty about how else to react. And Dazai just gives his comment about people crying when their father dies, and Atsushi does exactly that. This is already a kinder interpretation: Dazai made it clear that Atsushi could react however he felt better, but he understood that the kid felt like crying, and gave him an implicit okay to do so. It was a way to help Atsushi express his emotions, bypassing the blocks that the Headmaster himself had put on the road. And personally, I suspect that it gets the closest to authorial intent, because of the emphasis on ‘finding a will to live despite one’s trauma’ has already been established as a central theme of the manga.

A third interpretation put as much focus on Dazai as it does on Atsushi. Dazai is the one who reaches to Atsushi and all but call the Headmaster’s violence ‘necessary’, defining him as Atsushi’s ‘father’. And we already know that Dazai is no stranger to violence as a teaching method; just ask Akutagawa. His treatment of the young mafioso - beatings, calling him worthless, even an attempted execution - is strikingly similar to how the Headmaster raised Atsushi.

And sure, Dazai’s got his promise to Odasaku, be a better person, stay on the path that protects the weak, but these are the ideals he picked up in his formative years in the mafia. It’s likely that he can recognize that his treatment of Akutagawa was wrong, but on some level, he thinks himself as justified: it was how you taught a kid to live in a cruel world, the same reasoning of the Headmaster. He still has his violent tendencies: remember the famous slap he gave Atsushi?

I’m not sure whether he still stands by this ‘educational system’ or not. He hasn’t expressed any explicit regret over how he treated Akutagawa, but he made a point of treating Atsushi in a very different way. He still gave that slap, but that could have been a moment of ‘regression’: a situation in which he needed an Atsushi on top of his game ASAP, couldn’t figure out how to calm him down properly, and fell back on doing what he knew: teaching through violence and harsh words. He expresses no regret over this thing either … but there actually might be, Dazai is a character defined by the fact that he lies to everybody (to his mentees, to his colleagues, to the enemies, to the readers) and so pinning down his true thoughts is very difficult. 

With his answer, he might have projected more than a little in the Headmaster. Maybe what he told Atsushi was a covert way to explain his own actions, to present the point of view of ‘a person who does these things’. Maybe prepare him for an absolution; maybe prepare him to handle disappointment over his mentor’s true nature. Maybe prepare him to recognize himself in Akutagawa, and thus sympathize with him and improving the Shin Soukoku dynamic! Bungou Stray Dogs has pulled bigger levels of insane planning after all. 

Anyway, I find this a pretty interesting interpretation; even if it could have been elaborated upon better, if this is the case. It would show the situation not strictly as a message to the readers, but an analysis of the characters.

Thanks to anyone who bothered to read my ramblings!

Nekomimi

(The Japanese art concept of giving human characters animal ears and tails is called kemonomimi! And did you know that tigers don’t purr, they chuff?)

216/365: Nekomimi

“Stop laughing.”

“I’m not.”

“You are. It’s in your eyes.”

Ryuu looks away quickly, placing his hand over the lower half of his face. Atsushi sticks his lower lip out.

“Now you’re covering up a smile,” he mutters. Ryuu coughs once, happening a glance back to Atsushi before he quickly turns to face the wall again, closing his eyes.

“How dare you accuse me of such things, Jinko,” he says. Rolling his eyes, Atsushi leans across the futon to swipe Ryuu’s hand from his face. For a split second, he sees the smile on Ryuu’s lips, a rare sight that Atsushi would normally welcome. But in this case, he groans and draws back.

“C’mon, Ryuu, it’s not funny,” he mumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. Ryuu glances at him once before giving a cough that sounds oddly like a snicker.

“Your tail is lashing,” he points out monotonously. Atsushi bristles, an emotion that’s only further emphasized by the fur on his tail sticking out in all directions.

“Imagine if you got hit with that Ability,” he says, round ears pinning back against his head. “Rashoumon would practically have a mind of its own.”

Ryuu coughs again, leaning forward, and Atsushi doesn’t realize until it’s too late that he’s reaching for his ears.

“Yes, but,” Ryuu says, rubbing Atsushi’s velvety fur between his forefinger and thumb, “this is far cuter, I believe.”

Atsushi blushes, and though his fur settles, his tail continues to swipe back and forth. He isn’t sure how long he’ll be stuck like this, with his Ability on the fritz and his ears and tail manifested, but he hopes it ends soon. Asking for Dazai’s help is out of the question; Atsushi wouldn’t hear the end of it for weeks. Months.

“You’re patronizing me,” Atsushi grumbles, shoulders bunched and knees crisscrossed beneath him. But Ryuu takes his fingers from his ear, moving down to the space behind it, scratching there, and Atsushi’s tension seems to suddenly and miraculously leave his body. He relaxes under Ryuu’s touch, closing his eyes, turning into butter in his fingers.

Ryuu abruptly stops, and Atsushi looks up to ask what’s wrong, but Ryuu stares down at him with something bordering on playful in his eyes.

“What was that?” He asks. Atsushi tilts his head, subconsciously cat-like.

“What was what?”

“You made a sound.”

Atsushi frowns. “Did not.”

“You did. You chuffed,” Ryuu says, the tiniest of triumphant smiles on his lips. Atsushi narrows his eyes.

“I did not,” he says again. “I’m not so much of a tiger that I’d-!”

He stops the instant Ryuu begins to scratch beneath his chin. Atsushi closes his eyes again, leaning into Ryuu as if some other force were controlling his body, smiling and definitely chuffing.

“Good kitty,” Ryuu murmurs, kissing the crown of Atsushi’s head as he scratches his chin with both hands.

Atsushi’s tail gives the occasional, satisfied twitch.

Life is so much more enjoyable once you stop putting so much pressure on yourself

Atsushi sleeping in the linen closet partly because he's cat like and it felt like a good idea.

But also because Atsushi spent his life often sleeping in a cage, and as awful as it was it's what he's used to.

He slept fine the first night because he was so exhausted but since than retreated to the linen closet.

It helps that it's both cosy and cool, which helps to ground him when he has nightmares.

And hey, now there's more space for Kyouka.

So i was looking at cat facts and i saw that cats headbutt you because they want your attention. It also shows that they trust you.

Now all I can imagine is Atsushi headbutting a bunch of others. Kunikida, Dazai, and Kyouka get the most headbutts for sure.

I'd think Aku's brain would freeze for a small second after getting one.

anytime atsushi gets excited his tail pops out and wags but no one tells him becuz they think its funny to see atsushi try and pretend he's not excited and act nonchalant

atsushi is genuinely surprised and confused how everyone always knows what he wants or wants to do

dazai, kunikida, and atsushi coming back from a mission

kunikida, noticing atsushi looking at an ice cream stall: atsushi do u want ice cream

atsushi: oh i dont care either way! if u and dazai san want to then...

dazai: i dont re-

kunikida and dazai staring at atsushi's wagging tail:

dazai: ooh~ kunikida-kun~ how kind~ to offer us ice cream~

kunikida: as if bastard! i'll buy it for atsushi but ur a grown ass man

dazai: if only i had a tail :(

atsushi: what

dazai: what

atsushi:

//

like that

yosano: how did u choose a gift for atsushi? theres so many things i could get... since he's not used to owning much

ranpo: my genius deductive skills obviously

yosano:

ranpo: okay fine i chose like 10 and mentioned them to him subtly and bought the one he wagged his tail for the most

yosano:

yosano: oh shit u are a genius

ranpo: why r u acting surprised

//

atsushi: cant believe i have to work with you again,,, why do we always have to see each other ugh

akutagawa, staring (like wan staring) at atsushi's wagging tail:

//

bet atsushi never takes time off becuz idk he doesn't think he can - like he knows he can but he also doesn't think he can

that doesn't make sense but i hope u get it

anyway he never requests time off - he's only not there if he's sick (and was bullied into resting) or something like he personally never puts in the request

if there's some festival or event or anything that anyone thinks atsushi would want to go and would go if not for work they let the boss man know

fukuzawa: atsushi, you haven't taken much time off, but it's good to take a break now and then. if you want, you can have monday and tuesday off. (which weirdly is the exact time that that one event u wanted to go to is on but obviously thats just a coincidence)

atsushi, tail wagging: oh that's alright

fukuzawa: i insist.

//

what else hmmmmmmmm

kyouka: atsushi, do you want me to make that dish again? you liked it right?

atsushi: oh i did! but you dont have to if you dont want to! i mean if you do you totally can

kyouka, staring at his tail: i'll make it

//

junichiro, after coming back from a longer mission:

atsushi: heyyy we didn't see each other all day!

junichiro, trying not to show how touched he is becuz atsushi's tail is wagging, showing how happy he is:

and so on