shrek is love, shrek is life
I think I speak for a lot of people when I say this:
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Kermit for Pope
I was trying to find out if Kermit was eligible to be pope and I found a blog that says he's the perfect example of a catholic priest
when I was 14 I worked in a grocery store and one day I got to bag Stephen King’s groceries and of course, being the little horror fiction nerd I am I was completely starstruck
I think he thought I was gonna ask for an autograph because I was not even lowkey staring I was full on moon-faced and bouncing and he kept looking over at me hesitantly like aw jeez kid fuck off
anyways I finally managed to squeak out that I was a huge fan and asked for advice on writing, “how do I write as well as you do?” in my horrible thick German accent and broken ass English and he gave me the best writing advice I have ever received
“shit kid, stop worrying about how other people do it and just write your story”
14 years later my wife and I nearly hit him with our car because he was jaywalking
Silly phone, you're not detecting an analog audio accessory, you're detecting soup, from the bowl of soup I dropped you in.
My masterpiece
encountering an inconvenience while cold: damn that sucks, oh well, i’ll figure something else out!!
encountering an inconvenience while hot: we all deserve to die right now, come on everyone, lets all go die
You ever hear that old chestnut about how most people neglect the part of the story of Icarus where he also had to avoid flying too low, lest the spray of the sea soak his feathers and cause him to fall and drown? You ever think about how different the world would be if Icarus died that way instead? If the idiom was to Fly To Close To The Sea? A warning against playing it far too safe, about not stretching your wings and soaring properly? You ever think about how Icarus died because he was happy?
Happy Valentine's Day! Here are some gay robots :3
she/her 🏳️⚧️i am a *minor*PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR DONATIONS, YOU ARE MAKING FRUITLESS ATTEMPTS
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