Silly Phone, You're Not Detecting An Analog Audio Accessory, You're Detecting Soup, From The Bowl Of

(to the tune of hot to go)

hrt i need it sooo, then i could be hot to go

taught my little brother to replace "im gonna kill myself" with "im killing a hostage" and it was a success #oldestsiblingwisdom

“you all are great people, and what you’re doing is art, but it’s also a crime punishable by 28 days in prison” is a real sentence that got said to me tonight by a security officer i think i’m living my best life

Once I dreamt Will Wood did a social experiment where he did a live stream and if it had 0 viewers he would make new music, then his internet failed and the stream crashed so he was forced to make new music, he wrote an album called “I hate you all (you all suck)” and it went viral on tiktok to the point he was on tv shows and really well known as “that one tiktok guy” he was so fed up he went on tour where he just reprimanded each member of the audience individually by name. Every show sold out

how is trump alive?? like hes rlly gone thru his whole life like That …. and no one has ever just fuckin decked him?? gave him the ole one two? knocked his lights out??? incredible

Girls will be boys

Boys will be girls

Fascists will 💖 be shot💖

no I can't close my tabs. what if I accidentally close my emotional support Wikipedia page about historical instances of cannibalism that's been open for 3 years? what happens then??? what will be left of me????

"I have depression." - character who has been through extensive therapy.

"I feel dead inside all the time and nothing helps!" - character who does like, regular introspective thinking and is aware of the concept of mental health.

"Leave me the fuck alone I'll be fine once I get over my stupid shit." - repressed character.

"It's fine I'm just having an Empty Time. What? Yeah, empty times, you know, when everything is like bzzzzzz in your brain and you don't shower for two weeks. Why, what do you call it?" - ooooughhh now we're talkin