Patient In The 1800’s: I’m Like…tired

Edward missing the ugly green sweater because the brown one gives him ungentlemanly thoughts moodboard

i wish bella would call

i wish bella WOULDN’T CALL

maybe i should call bella

maybe i should call bella and hang up

Edward: so now that I’m marrying Bella I’m finally going to be able to enjoy a night with her but I’m a little confused on what to do :/

Emmett who’s had a presentation prepared since the 1940s:

twilight christmas:

edward:

the volturi arresting the cullens for having rutabaga:

edward, emmett, and jasper, respectively:

bella hearing that there will be a christmas party at charlie’s & at the cullen’s:

alice taking off as soon as she hears the volturi are coming:

esme and emmett watching edward and rosalie fight on christmas morning:

edward to jacob:

jasper: *tries to bite bella, again*

esme and carlisle: 

people in 2008: this is just a phase, no one cares about twilight

people in 2020:

edward was always the quietest member of their family

his gift meant that he never needed to ask a question of anybody in their household, which cut out a considerable amount of conversation

when he did speak, it was always soft and quiet, as though he were afraid of being overheard

he only became quieter and more internal as their family grew

he was always happy to join in with the others and seemed fairly happy, but he never felt the need to be as loud as the rest of them

even jasper, shyer than the other three, spoke more often than edward

until the day he first spoke to bella swan

that day, he had raced home and run straight into the living room where his adopted mother was reading a book

he couldn’t help but let his joy burst forth and he talked non-stop for at least ten minutes about the swan girl, relaying every aspect of their conversations

esme beamed the entire time, glad not only that he had found somebody that he liked so much, but that he was bold enough to share it with her

when he had calmed down, he tried to retract a little

“sorry… i didn’t mean to load all of that onto you.” he mumbled

“edward, darling! you can read my mind so i know that you know that’s not how i feel about it at all. i’m thrilled for you!”

he smiled sheepishly and ducked out of the room, but esme swore that he heard him singing under his breath

from that day on, there was a change in edward

esme didn’t know if it was because he couldn’t read bella’s mind and became more used to speaking aloud but he was almost as talkative as his siblings

Edward the night before his wedding: So, uh, sort of an awkward question, but is there a particular brand of condom I should be using?

Carlisle: Condoms? We’re vampires, son. Don’t worry about those.

Edward: Oh. :)

Edward later, during his honeymoon: Bella’s pregnant.

Carlisle:

if i was bella I'd try to suck hallucination Eddie boi's d*** and that's that.