Reporting All Ads As Malicious Because All Ads Are Malicious

you're telling me people DONT like when their cat is talkative?? you don't like meow meow?? mrrp? mmrp?

WHEN ON PERIOD:

do not crash out

your feelings are NOT valid

do not send that text

don't kill yourself. lock in

do not act on negative emotions until at least 2 days have elapsed

on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport the first person on the moon went there by accident and promptly died. The next dozen or so people also went by accident, and also died. Number 14 figured out that people who go to the moon die and very cleverly brought a sword and six weeks of travel rations. This did not help.

No one on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport ever figured out why people die in space because they don’t need airplanes and never found it particularly interesting to climb tall mountains. Astronomers use telescopes to take pictures of the ever-growing pile of corpses on the moon.

friendships online be like bro i would deactivate for you

this quote in my textbook says “studies show that a majority of college students identify women with armpit hair as radically feminist, overly aggressive in their gender politics, and possibly man-hating” that’s me

asking "hey is it fine if I smoke in here" and before you're able to answer I've already set up a full rack of salmon over a fire in your living room

Being chronically ill in your 20s is stupid you have to see your peers like “started a family🥰” “got married😍” “bought a house😇” “scored a promotion😋” meanwhile you’re fighting for your life to take a shower

me age 7: this pokemon is named cupcake becos its random and cute 

me age 12: this pokemon is named Petri, named after petrichor, the name for the scent of rain. a close second was Nimbus, named after nimbostratus clouds in which rain forms. i was very tempted to go with Proteus, a greek shapeshifter who ruled the sea, but i realized that would be more fitting for a pokemon with a stronger attack stat. i researched these names endlessly and they took 2 hours to come up with. 

me age 15: this pokemon is named sleepy becos he looks sleepy