You Can Only Reblog This Today.

reblog for something really lgbt to happen to the person you reblogged it from

*unscrews my boob and just fucking slaps you with it*

God why cant I just PICK a SIDE already

I hope this doesn't awaken anything in me-

Chulken

happy PRIDE i’m here i’m queer and i believe the land should be given back to the proper indigenous stewards.

👁️👁️

Rrrmmm?

He has 2 dogs, puppysits for the entire neighborhood, is the guy to go to if your pet is missing bc he will ride around the whole neighborhood, by block, looking for them and telling people to look for them. When my grandma's dog was staying with us he got out twice, and he found him twice.

If the one guy on the block who snowplows the whole block doesn't get into heaven I will personally fight God for his ticket

Stop calling me out

me picking a scenario to fall asleep to: there’s nothing good on

Writing Prompt:

You are a thief who can really accurately judge somethings value. Your secret? Whenever you steal something, you get tired, the more valuable it is, the more tired you get. One day you steal a tiny figurine from a gift shop that's normally like 75 cents, but as soon as you step out the door, you get fucking exhausted

I told this to my mom and she said "this is why no one likes you Emilia"

After you die, the last part of your body to stop working are your pupils because…

…they dilate!