I Literally Stopped Going To Therapy In Like, November, Because I Opened Up To My Therapist Abt My Relationship

my bf knows i'm tring to lose weight and shi and he told me last night something like "yeah and when you're skinny..." abt cuddling or so

DPDR core

Feeling like you're stuck in your body/brain

Feeling like this is some sort of dream you can't wake up from

Everything is overstimulating

Agoraphobia

Trouble sleeping

Not being able to function because you're so distracted by the feeling that nothing exists

"Am I really me? Is this body me?"

Overly anxious

Panic attacks

People thinking it's a funny quirky thing, not knowing it consumes every bit of you

using your phone or laptop as a distraction from existing

Feeling numb

Struggling with eye contact

Being restless in crowded places

“starving yourself won’t make you happy”

sorry a girl just wants to wear her slutty little top and shorts

My restricting guidelines

If fasting isn't really your thing but look for advice/tips with dealing with your £d, this is your post.

For reference, I usually aim to eat around 1K cals in a day, because then I can still function. While the urge is there, I try not to give in and get worse. I'm not really strict with myself and eat just about whatever, as long as I stay under my calorie limit.

Breakfast

I usually don't have breakfast (I'm not really a morning person and I don't feel hungry), but if I do, I try to go as low call as possible or make it nutritious. A safe meal is usually a fried egg and half an avocado.

Lunch

If I had breakfast, I tend to skip lunch. If I didn't and I'm having a break between my classes, I like to have tomato soup, or a sandwich. If I'm still home, I decide between something light/nutritious (like the eggs and avocado) or something bigger.

Dinner

This is usually my biggest meal of the day, of around 600 cals. Obv the lower the better, but I look at how much I already ate that day. If I didn't have too many calories and also moved, I feel like I earned a bigger dinner and don't feel as self concious. I usually just calculate at how many cals there is in the food and how many I allow myself to still eat that day.

while I'm not necessarily heavy on the thigh gap, I'm dying to have thin legs. I need my bones to show.

Hearing someone else say "I'm not hungry" while I'm eating floods me with guilt and kills my appetite. Every time.

why do my parents have to love food so much

Now remember, sugar is your worst enemy

REAL, I randomly stop studying just to scroll on tumblr and look through the tags. I also had a phase at some pointwhere I'd be like "it's ok to neglect my studies for a bit. I can't be stupid AND ugly."

does anyone else’s ED severely impact their academics? and not just in an “@na brain” way?

i mean instead of studying or doing online assignments i’m obsessively consuming media related to weight loss/food/dieting.

i feel guilty when i sit down to study or do schoolwork because “i could be burning calories exercising right now.”