Monkey’s Sinister Smile

so I’m filling out pediatrician intake forms for my newborn son and I get to the demographic section and I was already chuckling about putting a marital status…

yes hello my 3 day old son responds to only Old English, thank you

a wonderful ao3 author note

love House MD because House is the MAIN CHARACTER at that hospital and there's no attempt to hide this. as the viewer you are fully aware that those nurses in the elevator are just extras. the boss's entire schedule consists of yelling at him. the head of oncology would rather prescribe him controlled meds and flirt than practice oncology. his team's only desires are to fuck him and strangle him, often at the same time. every other doctor at the hospital might as well be a cardboard cutout.

the walls are glass, the better to see him through. he limps around, commits malpractice, and serves cunt.

long live mid-2000s TV.

From the makers of rats full of soup, I am pleased to bring you soup full of rat 🥫🐀

Every time I see this photo I imagine bucky with a jersey mom accent being like, “I swear to god, Sam, these kids are uncontrollable. I’ve seen better form in HYDRA agents and let me tell you, they weren’t much. Also, you’ll never fucking guess who’s here—WALKER.”

fyi i will be extending some dark tendrils across the sky later today. just a heads up

*john mulaney voice*

there is a

boat

stuck in the

suez canal

it's never happened before

no one knows what the boat is gonna do next, least of all the boat

its never been sideways in a canal before, it's as confused as you are