Guys I Have Smth To Confess. I Love Vi.

There IS better autism research they could be doing, like trying to discover other medications that help with sensory issues and quality of life problems and trying to get better childhood diagnosis rates for autistic girls. But no, the decades long useless search to find out what causes autism and how to eliminate it continues. The push for “autism research” is never really about how to make things better for autistic people, it’s about how to make autistic people stop existing and that is nottttt possible. But they’ll continue to fixate on it.

"I want to be a dragon."

Caretaker culture is gently stroking the body's cheek while someone is panicking in co because everything will be alright.

protector culture is being so used to protecting the host that as we get better and better you start fearing you won't be needed anymore, even if everyone in the system still says they love you and that you matter beyond your role

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got his ass

Questioning plural culture is “even if im not actually a system or plural it’s really comforting to relate thoughts and emotions to not me.” Like I can’t describe it. Like I’m probably not a system I just find comfort in having an entity to relate stuff to

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“Headmates need to be miserable all the time 24/7!!!” actually headmates need delicious homemade Mac-n-cheese

My system is traumagenic. I'm pretty fucking sure. But I hesitate to say that I have a dissociative disorder. Even though I have been seeing a trauma specialist for almost five years now, my system is open with him about our experiences as far as we are comfortable, he acknowledges us individually, he has helped us work together, and he's told us that if we ever do want to see someone who specializes in dissociative disorders (which he is not, he "just" specializes in PTSD) that he would be happy to refer us.

Our decision with regards to my system is that "it is what it is." I don't have a formal diagnosis and I don't want one. The PTSD diagnosis has been enough to get treated. There's a lot of medicolegal bullshit that can happen from having something so severe in your medical record. Unless my system gets to a point where we feel that even more specialized care is something we need, we don't see any medical reason to pursue that. Frankly this is the first therapist that my system has had overall good rapport with and I don't want to switch. Neither does my host.

I also don't see the existence of my system as something that is disordered by necessity. Our collective trauma is the injury that we need to heal from, not our multiplicity. When I think about what I want for my system, I don't see a future where we disappear or become someone else. I see a future where we are all safe and happy.

you deserve all the safety and love and care and joy you begged the universe for as a child