My System Is Traumagenic. I'm Pretty Fucking Sure. But I Hesitate To Say That I Have A Dissociative Disorder.
My system is traumagenic. I'm pretty fucking sure. But I hesitate to say that I have a dissociative disorder. Even though I have been seeing a trauma specialist for almost five years now, my system is open with him about our experiences as far as we are comfortable, he acknowledges us individually, he has helped us work together, and he's told us that if we ever do want to see someone who specializes in dissociative disorders (which he is not, he "just" specializes in PTSD) that he would be happy to refer us.
Our decision with regards to my system is that "it is what it is." I don't have a formal diagnosis and I don't want one. The PTSD diagnosis has been enough to get treated. There's a lot of medicolegal bullshit that can happen from having something so severe in your medical record. Unless my system gets to a point where we feel that even more specialized care is something we need, we don't see any medical reason to pursue that. Frankly this is the first therapist that my system has had overall good rapport with and I don't want to switch. Neither does my host.
I also don't see the existence of my system as something that is disordered by necessity. Our collective trauma is the injury that we need to heal from, not our multiplicity. When I think about what I want for my system, I don't see a future where we disappear or become someone else. I see a future where we are all safe and happy.
More Posts from Cainterburytales and Others
what’s it called when you’re so disconnected from reality that cold water doesn’t feel like anything and you can barely taste food anymore
I’ll write a post on here that clearly says “I don’t believe anyone should ever be forcibly institutionalized in any circumstance” and someone will reblog and tag it “I totally agree, nobody should be incarcerated except my family member with BPD/schizophrenia/*insert stigmatized diagnosis here*, sometimes people just need to be locked away for their own good” and I’m like no…you don’t totally agree & I don’t think you understand…I mean that all people deserve bodily autonomy, including the people you’ve been conditioned to believe are the most scary, inconvenient, and burdensome
idk i dont mean this with as much derision as might bleed out but it is exceedingly clear that some of you were never considered retard-faggots as a child and therefore never subject to the subsequent torments Pure Children would subject Retard-Faggot Children to.
[* the use of these slurs is not reclamatory but is also not pejorative. the use of these slurs is academic, technical, and descriptive.]
starry eyed
new game plan called shield yourself at all times and never let anyone in . this will have no repercussions
you deserve all the safety and love and care and joy you begged the universe for as a child
dance with me?
You have to make a fucking commitment that extends beyond your narrow, myopic definition of "normal" or you're going to continue to fail the fascism pop quiz, every fucking time.
You need to be willing to defend shit you find personally unsavory/unappealing/unintelligible. You need to be able to defend the weird porn. You need to defend the incomprehensible art. You need to defend the micro-identities that you think sound made up.
What matters is harm. Actual, tangible, documented harm. Not hypothetical. Not theoretical. Actual harm. If it's not harmful, it should be allowed to exist and anyone who tells you it shouldn't, it's trying to radicalize you. Don't fucking let them.
And if it causes actual harm, commit to actual harm reduction. Specific, tangible actions to minimize the specific, tangible harm. Anything else is propaganda.
I'm begging you to rub two brain cells together and stop platforming fascist talking points under the thinnest veneer of respectability. Your definition of normal doesn't apply to anyone else but yourself. If you're queer, if you're disabled, if you're a minority in any axis, stop fucking licking the boot that wants to crush your throat.
They mean you. When they call for the death of freaks and undesirables. When they want to criminalize anything that threatens children's safety. When they insist they only want to target dangerous perverts and malicious criminals.
They mean you.
Stop fucking helping them!
