Reblog To Beat The Joker To Death

Cullen: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Bruce: What did you do?

Cullen: Nobody died.

Bruce: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Bruce: Here's some advice

Dick: I didn't ask for any

Bruce: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

Alfred: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.

Tiny emo Bruce: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.

Alfred: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?

Dick: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'

Dick: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

Dick: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming

Barbara: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

______________

Damian: I'm a reverse necromancer.

Carrie: Isn't that just killing people?

Damian: Ah, don’t sweat the details .

______________

Jason: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Dick: Twelve, actually.

Jason: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Dick: Yours!

Jason: That's right: no one's.

_______________

Damian: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Steph: I think you mean cards.

Damian, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

________________

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Bruce Wayne please come to the front desk?

Bruce, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to the batkids

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Dick, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Bruce: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

__________________

Barbara: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Luke: You people already know too much about me.

Tiffany: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

______________________

Tim: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it

Cullen: Just rip the bandage off.

Tim: It’s Kon.

Cullen: Put the bandage back on.

Dick: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Wally: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Dick: But you’re always acting stupid?

Wally: ...

Wally: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

Hal: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Bruce: I do have a sense of humor you know

Hal: I’ve never heard you laugh before

Bruce: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

Bruce as Batman trying to be a good dad : *shatters a window and climbs through it*

Bruce *turns around and helps Dick through it*: Breaking and entering is wrong robin.

youngDick absolutely going to do this later: ok

Wally: Whenever I see Dick, my heart clenches and I get all nervous.

Barry: That's because you're in love with him.

[later]

Dick: Whenever I see Wally, my heart clenches and I get all nervous.

Bruce: Don't get too close to him again, you seem to have an allergic reaction.