Alfred: Hey, It's Your Turn To Wash Dishes.

Best girls in Gotham

Wally : What are amphetamines?

Dick: Drugs that can go on land and water.

Wally : Ohhhh.

Tim: Carrie was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.

Carrie: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.

Tim: Carrie, you ate a chair.

Jon: I owe you one.

Damian: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

Bruce: That's it, I'm cutting off the internet!

Stephanie: No, please don't! I have a family to feed!

Bruce: ….

Bruce: What?

Stephanie: I need to feed my Neopets!

Stephanie: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!

Jason: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

Diana: Why are you on the floor?

Bruce: I'm depressed.

Bruce: Also I was stabbed, can you get Clark, please.

reblog to beat the joker to death

Jason Todd holding a bunch of weapons and grenades: you love me Roy?

Roy: normally i’d say yes without hesitation but i feel like i know where this is going and i don’t like it

🦇Bruce Wayne Headcanons 🦇

- Bruce wears reading glasses and puts them on whenever he needs to see something up close, so there’s a good chance if you walk in the bat cave you will see Batman squinting through a pair of cheap reading glasses at the bat computer.

- He smells good, but as he’s gotten older he’s beginning to smell like an old man.

- You cannot tell me Bruce has the loudest ringtone on earth and he stalks his whole family ( Including Red Hood) on Life360.

- “Live Laugh Love”

- He will try to use words to seem hip in front of his kids and it fails horribly. Example:

(Bruce picks Damian up from school)

Bruce: How was your day today, son?

Damian: tch. not too irritating, I guess.

Bruce: That’s very poggers.

Damian: 🤦