y/n: GUYS
y/n: GUSY I GOTTA SHOW U THIS
nerd 🥱👎🏼: hm?
da vinky 😦⁉️: yes?
y/n: WAIT I NEED ALL OF YALL
sk8er boi: where’s raph?
y/n: munchin booty or sum? idk 🤨
da vinky 😦⁉️: do you know how much you and raph get on my nerves with your bickering?
y/n: u know how much i don’t give a shit?
** y/n was muted **
da vinky 😦⁉️: that’s better.
nerd🥱👎🏼: STOPP HAHA
sk8er boi: i’ll shove my foot so far up your ass my toes will make gaps between your teeth.
** y/n was unmuted **
sk8er boi: THEY STOLE MY PHONE
sk8er boi: SRRY BRO
nerd 🥱👎🏼: smh
nerd 🥱👎🏼: but fr, where’s raph??
y/n: RAPHHHHH
y/n: RAPHIEEE-POOOO 🥰🥰
rae-rae: what the fuck do you want.
y/n: guess what i gotttt
rae-rae: a bigger dick 🥺?
y/n: yo bitch seemed to like it last night
da vinky 😦⁉️: omg.
nerd 🥱👎🏼: GAHSHDHDHQHHAHAHAH
sk8er boi: NOOOO LMFAOOOOOOOAHAHHQHWJD
y/n: raphs getting blocked again 😐.
y/n: ANYWAYSSSSS
y/n: I GOT THIS COOL NEW WATERBOTTLE
y/n: since SOMEONE hid my last one 😒
nerd 🥱👎🏼: in our defense, it was funny
sk8er boi: ^^
y/n: ok homo???
da vinky 😦⁉️: y/n.
y/n: ITS TRUE?????
rae-rae: HAHAHAHAH
nerd 🥱👎🏼: 😒
** y/n sent a picture **
y/n: there she is, in all her beauty
da vinky 😦⁉️: is that the jackass logo on the bottle?
y/n: yeah isn’t it cool!
y/n: u know it’s kinda funny cus johnny knoxville actually voices-
y/n: …
y/n: nvm 😁😇!!
rae-rae: huh?
nerd 🥱👎🏼: ???
sk8er boi: i don’t get it
y/n: …
** y/n logged off **
** da vinky 😦⁉️ logged off **
** nerd 🥱👎🏼 logged off **
** sk8er boi logged off **
** rae-rae logged off **
——————————————
da vinky 😦⁉️: Leonardo
rae-rae: Raphael
nerd 🥱👎🏼: Donatello
sk8er boi: Michaelangelo
—j. knoxville
chapter 2. (SERIES + social media AU + crackfic)
ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 𓂂 ゚𓈒 ݁ .
The sun escaped from the sides of the blinds that protected your window and fell ever so softly into your face as if it was waking you up personally. Your eyes fluttered open and your body started up again as you tried to get up. Your whole body ached as normal, but this time there was a different feeling accompanying it. It was the same feeling you got when you had something… new. A new idea for a book, outfit, art piece, or even so simple as a song. It fell heavy onto your heart and it reminded you of your actions last night. You couldn’t decide if you were stupid or naive. Stupid to actually think that you had a chance at reconnecting with your lost friend, or naive for the same reason.
You picked up your phone and looked through your notifications as usual. Though you were surprised to be met with messages.
rydunn so its on the 14th
rydunn nd i’ll send u the adress later
system notification you have been added to JACKASSES
rydunn srry they made me
worldofbam did u rlly know johnny as a kid
callmesteveo r u hit
callmesteveo hot*
partyboypontius i cackled
englanddave block them n run while you still can @usern6me
callmesteveo i’m hurt. offended, even.
The conversation went on through the notifications as you scrolled. Honestly you’d never think you’d end up acquaintances with such people. They were the type—in your point of view—of people who always seemed cool and funny, but you’d feel too awkward to go to up and hear your embarrassing voice manage to ask them if you could hang out.
You spaced out because of this chain of thoughts and were brought back to earth by a buzz from your phone. It was Ryan. He’d sent you the address. Now this meant that you were really in it. No turning back. You were really emphasizing everything, it wasn’t that big of a deal looking back on it. But at that time and moment the only thing on your mind was the anxiety of Pj being upset at your presence.
Your first instinct was to call your friend. She always was there to listen, if not to give good advice.
ring.
ring.
ri-
“hello?”
“babe i think i fucked up. like hugely this time.”
She listened to every word you had to say and as soon as the silence set into the air, she burst out laughing. “You-you…. Oh my god…. This is great!!” she struggled to get out through giggles. “Shut up..” you retort. “Nono really, this is fantastic! I’ve been tortured all these years by not getting closure to the story. Kind of like a fanfic where it hasn’t been updated since 5 years ago!” she reasons. You let out a gut laugh. “Imagine how i feel.” you roll your eyes, forgetting she couldn’t see it. The call went on for another hour or so, you couldn’t really tell.
After a minute to process, you decided to actually go. Officially. No turning back, no making up a pathetic excuse, no nothing. But with the decision, came the realization that time is moving rather quickly towards the day that you dread so much. Thank god you had you had just started on your new album before moving again. The appointments for recording and lyric-writing helped take your mind off of Pj.
editors note: this shit is so short srry lol
GUYS PLEASE I NEED IDEAS ☹️
send in jackass requests im bored and have no ideas for what to write
fun fact i have a jackass x one direction dr
social media au - crack fic - fluff - SERIES
#vol. I = you should’ve just stayed in bed
editors note: I FORGOT TO INCLUDE THE SOCIAL MEDIA PART SO THATS WHY ITS DIFFERENT IM SORRY 😭💀
✩ ˖˚˳⊹
𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐊𝐄𝐘𝐒 onto the side table next to the door as you drag yourself to the couch and plop down, getting comfy. As you snuggle against the comforting couch, you pull out your phone to look through instagram and check on what your friends have been doing.
With your name, you could go anywhere right now. With anyone you wanted. You could get into any club. Hell, you could even buy the club. But you found the comfort of your own apartment in L.A. more comforting than that knowledge.
bzzz. bzzz. bzzz. oh crap. who’s calling now?
you pick up the phone as you begrudgingly get up from you comfy spot to go to the kitchen.
“dude! where are youuu?!!”
it was your cousin, flint, you could practically hear the alcohol in his voice.
“huh?”
“where. are. youuuuuuuu??”
“home, why? i just got here.” you say as you lean against the counter, continuing to scroll through social media.
“no no no, you’re supposed to be here!! remember your lil’ party????!!!”
you immediately go to his instagram profile and see he’s already posted some drunk selfies at the bar.
liked by kcui.x, and 2662 more
notflint_ pathetic but aesthetic 🥴🫶🏼
view all 584 comments
That’s right. One of your movies did surprisingly well in the box office and your cousin thought that it called for a celebration. He told you earlier this week that he already had the bar rented out but some assholes rented it too, meaning you have to share it with some strangers. But it’s whatever, in his words.
“rightt. sorry. uhm..”
“no you can’t skip on this.”
“okay fine. i’ll be there in like 30-ish minutes?”
“as long as you’re heerreee!!”
And with that you hung up and re-considered your life decisions as it took you 15 minutes to get up. You grabbed your keys again with a sigh and closed your door.
When you got to the bar you really contemplated leaving as you couldn’t take your hands off the wheel and eyes off the neon signs decorating the windows of the bar. You could always say there was an emergency.. You reached for your phone to message your cousin,
“Hey!”
“OH MY GOD”
Your cousin threw his head back in laughter as you had to restrain yourself from hitting him.
“You scared the shit out of me! What are you doing?”
“Waiting for you!! Cmon, there’s people waiting for you!”
He opened the door to your car and dragged you out. the whole walk across the parking lot was just you trying to get him to release you but you knew your inevitable doom of having to say hi to multiple people and actually socialize.
“Everyone! hereeeessss (name)!”
You wave an awkward hi to the crowd in front of you with a sheepish smile. Almost instantly, everyone cheered. And then again almost instantly everyone went back to what they were doing. Except for a few people who came up to congratulate you.
Your cousin let you go from under his arm to go do his own thing. You didn’t know where to go from there so you just went to the nearest seat and
Someone tapped your shoulder. “Hey!” Oh no..
You turn around just to find out it was your other cousin, Angela. “Oh hey Angela. Nice to see you again.” you greet her with a smile. “Hey (name)!” she responds with the same smile. “So i see Flint has already traded you in for some drinks?” she asks with a smirk. You didn’t even have to respond to get her an answer. A quick shake of the head and a chuckle did it. She was called over by some other friends that were invited and that left you alone once again.
You go back to your phone, opening up instagram and refreshing your page. And on great timing, you saw Angela’s new post.
liked by inq_ and 2974 others
ayo.its.angela unforgettable nights <3
view all 727 comments
You look up to see Flint coming up to you. “(nameeeee) come meet my new friends!!” he managed to slur out as he tugged on your arm. You looked around to try and find Angela for help, but Flint was already pulling you out of your chair.
Flint dragged you all the way across the bar and around some corners all against your will until you finally managed to wriggle yourself out of his grip.
“Dude i don’t even know these people!”
“Oh no, Actually, you kinda do.!” he said between giggles.
“What?”
“Remember those dicks who rented out the other half of the bar??”
“yeah..?”
“Turns out they’re not such dicks after all!”
This time he motioned for you to follow him and you willingly followed. He brought you to one of the farther corners, where the pool table was. His presence caught the attention of one of the guys there. He turned around with a smile that meant nothing other than trouble on his face.
“Hey dude! Thought we lost you!” he had a surprisingly rasp voice.
Flint turned to you, “(name), let me introduce you to my good friend,”
He put a hand on the guys shoulder, “Steve-O!”
rewriting the cigarettes out the window knoxville fic, cus i don’t rlly like it
FRANK A. IERO "YOUR FACE IS ALL I NEED TO STAY SANE."
it’s your city, i wanna be yours too.
summary: it’s late. its night. its new jersey. you’re in franks car because its romantic with a view of the city.
ⓘ gn! reader, not proofread, reader is from sf, 0.3k words
“ok, maybe i see why you like new jersey so much.”
you're in frank's hoodie, the ac is on anyway. your favorite cd is playing in the car's speaker, softly in the background so you can still hear his voice, and this is your peace. you look over at him, sighing out this defeat and waiting for his stupid laugh. "yes! i told you!" he giggles. "everyone sees it eventually." he points a finger with the same hand he holds his cup of coffee.
"keep it up and im taking it back." you roll your eyes, shaking your knee as your legs rest on his dashboard with your feet kicked up, boots on display. "i mean, who doesn't like a view of the city?"
"sure, bud. talk all the shit you want." he turns to you in this teasing way, scrunching his nose. there's a playful gasp, swatting his bicep. "you know what, it's actually not all that." you mutter into your can of arizona tea. immediately, frank sits up. "you can't take it back, you already said it!" his torso is completely turned.
"i can do whatever the fuck i want." you laugh, tickled at his reaction. the mood dies down after a bit, you both settle into the sounds of belleville. "it is pretty, though." you reclaim in this serious whisper. "i know." he sighs back.
"i wish you could see san francisco like this, though." you fix your throat and your posture. "all pretty and shit, i'd take you to see the golden gate, or downtown, or the pier." "yeah?" his voice is low and distracted, though you have his full attention. "mhm." you happily hum back.
"you'd take me to 'cali?" he asks with a smile, his winning smile, and turns over to you. "i'd take you anywhere." you're already looking at him.
you smile at each other for a minute, before he leans in, and you mirror him. it's all perfect, and you can't help but focus on the beat of you heart. you love everything so much. you love how his cologne fills you up, you love the warmth despite the windows down, you love the taste of your tea still lingering, you love the shitty lighting of the street lamp above, and you secretly love this town.
send in jackass requests im bored and have no ideas for what to write
when ms crawly returns from calaways house, her car that she’s renting is like all jacked up and she says smth along the lines of “i returned it with a full tank of gas” like the first stunt they pulled in the jackass movie 👍🏼
r we just gonna not talk about how there was a jackass reference in the song 2 movie ??
r we just gonna not talk about how there was a jackass reference in the song 2 movie ??