This Fucking Sucks - Blog Posts

this and when the hurt wasn't intended and wasn't their fault

Wanting to be comforted by the person who hurt you is a different type of pain..

having anxious attachment styles SUCKS especially with long distance relationships bc yeah we’ve only been talking/dating for 2 months but you called me 3 days in a row bc last week on your way home from work and you message me consistently but i’ve only met you once or twice and now i feel ridiculous for missing you and feeling unmotivated to do anything now that it’s over

Sad post about sad things

How do you deal with tragic events? I took years to fully establish in my mind that my best friend had died, I still struggle to believe both my grandmothers are gone, and now our oldest cat looks to be dying, since something has gone wrong with his hips or leg or spine.

I had to hear my loving sister, sweet and strong thing that she is, break down sobbing because this is probably the end for him.

I'm mad he's hurt, upset he's in pain, upset he's likely going to die, and all I can really do is sit here and fail to express any of this beyond the text side.

How do I deal with emotions that I can't really express outwardly? I want to express them, I can feel them, but I can't seem to actually do it.

I'm 99% I'm about to have a meltdown or am currently experiencing one because I want to scream and cry and hit something and hurt myself and everything is going wrong and feels wrong and I can't breathe and I'm scared I'm going to lash out at my friends even though I don't want to and they haven't done anything wrong and I feel so guilty for just feeling angry at them even though I haven't even said or done anything to them as of yet and I just feel so guilty for just being angry and for experiencing a meltdown and I'm so scared of being mean and angry and hurting them and I'm scared of them seeing me like this cause it's not pretty or easy and it's not fair on them having to deal with it and be around me while I'm like this but nothing is helping and I'm scared, so so scared and one of my friends (who is on the waiting list for an autism assessment and has an autistic sibling) told me they don't see autism as a disability but as a gift but it really doesn't feel like it, especially right now (and in fact this entire week) when i feel like this because omfg is it fucking agonising. I can't even put into words how much it physically hurts and aches and I hate it and I hate that because I'm lower support needs people think it doesn't affect me as much or that it isn't so difficult as to my detriment as if it doesn't affect and impair all parts of my fucking life.

What my brother said about the Ai scrap of AO3

My fic was unfortunately in the range so it did get scrapped too smh

The Dark Side (Part 2) - Yandere Poe Dameron x Undercover Male Reader

Summary: Poe now had you in his grasp - but not in the way you think...and Kylo's not pleased.

Tags: Kylo and Poe have beef, more murder, Hux is done at this point, bdsm(?), Poe's possessive asf

You had just witnessed that man you were meant to coerce murder your target - Rey. Paralysed, both literally and figuratively, you thought that you were fucked.

Kylo was trying to radio you in, but was struggling because he had been cut off. Poe wanted no distractions. He was going to interrogate you. Whether you liked it or not.

You knew that fighting Poe was hopeless, so you complied with him. Let him take you away. Somewhere you won't be found.

"Ai yai yai...such a cute little sight, hmm, carino? All stuck to my will, and mine alone." Poe chuckled at your helpless state. He was admiring you. Like you were a piece of art.

"So...what are you doing on working with the rebellion? Getting info on us? And don't give me those lies..." Poe smirked. He knew you wouldn't betray Kylo like that.

"I will not be intimidated by you, Poe Dameron." You told him, your defiance impressing him. Poe then laughed at you. He loved your resistance.

"That's the answer I was looking for. You can go back to your empire friends," He muttered, leaning towards your ear. "But I'll be waiting for you..."

You managed to fake your death after the incident, but Kylo was worried about you.

"That Poe fellow did what?! Kill Rey?! That's a new one. Last time I saw him, he fucking took one of my stormtroopers!" Kylo exclaimed. "Jeez...and if he is as...psychopathic...as you say, then...I don't know, do what you want? He's definitely no Jedi. Just be careful this time."

Hux was not with this idea at all. "He almost killed him, Ren! That Dameron fella is a fucking madman! If he can kill someone in the resistance, then he can kill the rest of us!"

"I'll deal with it!" You finally jumped in. "I'll make sure he doesn't go haywire. Just let me sort it out." You knew you were walking a fine line at this point. But you didn't care right now.

What's left to lose?

nooooo what do you mean im romantically interested in my best friend 💔💔💔