melon-cat-cult
I'm not going to be an npc anymore
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Latest Posts by melon-cat-cult
I do the opposite of gatekeeping, I’m not going to shut up until you like this thing as much as I do
Guys it was really hard to find a fanfic to listen to at work today that was Damian Wayne centric that didn't sound like it was gonna make me cry at work are we good fam ?
*at a company party for the daily planet*
coworker: why is Bruce Wayne here
Lois: he's Clark's boyfriend and needed a break from his kids
Coworker:... Clark as in your husband ?
Lois: yeah
Coworker: Bruce Wayne is dating your husband and coming to a company party and you're not throwing a fit
Lois: why would i? Bruce is my boyfriend sometimes when I want him to be *shrugs and walks over to Clark and Bruce*
Coworker: ????
Does anyone else's dog sleep like this
Dragon Damian Au!
pt.3
NO! You can’t pierce Damian’s EARS with a SAFETY PIN!
Tim was not getting any closer to figuring out why Duke and Damian were close, and it seemed like they were getting closer. Tim couldn’t even touch Damian without getting growled at! The evidence board wasn’t looking good either. One side was for figuring out Duke and Damian, and the other was for all of Damian’s ‘strange’ habits. The idea that these might just be things he does because of the LOA, but Jason also stayed with LOA for a long time, and he doesn’t do any of those things that Tim has seen.
On the ‘Duke and Damian’ side,
Shiny rocks
Warm blankets
Lamps ???
And on the what the ‘hell is up with Damian side’.
Glowing eyes
Attracted to extreme heat
He stabs when too close to possessions( may be a league thing, Jason has stabbed me because of that as well)
He’s a weird kid on the scale of Bruce’s brood weird level, still don't know how to make the kid like him. Tim sighed, his eyes hurting from looking at his screen too long, getting up to do some other work around the cave. Totally normal that was until he passed the stables where Goliath, Wiggles, and Jarro stay in the cave, normal used to seeing the two dragons and giant starfish. What wasn't normal was seeing Damian caught in Goliath and Wiggles and getting licked.
“Uh… yo demon, you getting eaten?” Tim called into the stable
Damian didn’t say anything. Tim came into the room more. Tim heard purring? He got closer, Wiggles looked up instead of getting growled at, and Tim got wrapped up in Wiggles’ tail. Squirming to get out of the side of Tim’s face was met with a wet sandpaper tongue.
“Eugh, Wiggles, that’s gross,” Tim complained, but stopped hearing the purring, likes cats, most definitely coming from the dragons, and… Damian… that's being added to the list.
What my brother said about the Ai scrap of AO3
My fic was unfortunately in the range so it did get scrapped too smh
You can take the HC that Martha Kent and Martha Wayne called their boys by every pet name under the sun out of my cold dead hands.
Ma Kent, her baby came to her out of the sky
She called Clark every variation of star or sun thought possible. Clark grew up being called starlight, starling, shooting star, sun bean, sunshine.
Because to Martha Kent Clark was all those things
Martha Wayne Bruce was her baby, sweetheart, honey bunny, love, her little knight,
Bruce remembered how loved he felt being called those names and does the same thing with his kids. Clark still has his mom to call him those things and also feels the love from ma Kent when she calls him those things they make him feel warmer than the sun ever could.
Clark calls Jon his sunlight and to begin with he didn't call Kon those pet names but it comes naturally to call Kon starshine Clark didn't notice he started calling him that.
Quotes from my sister
From playing cult of the lamb
Sister: I'm like I'm a cultist wet dream
---
*Me explaining the lamb is like the last lamb*
Am I the chosen one!
Why couldn't it be one of my brothers! I don't wanna be the last one
--
*Seeing everyone working together*
Yeah we'll finish this up licity split
---
Fuck you your unworthy! I'm not unworthy!! You're just jealous*genuinely just crashing out about leshy saying the goat was unworthy of the red crown*
I'm about to kill this bitch
---
A bondfire ritual? Let's do that shit naked!
---
*With first dissenter*
Stop spreading lies In my names!
---
*First upgrade to cult seeing it bringing up faith which was really low*
Ah shit that did wonders- alright bitches I gotta fucking dip *runs to crusade*
More batfam as stuff said at work
Part 3
Bruce: please stop
Jason: I just got here I can say so much more
Duke: don't
---
Dick: the elfile tower is in France
Tim: it's also in vagas
Dick: you're not allowed to talk
---
Steph: I hate people who are bad at math
Jason: so you hate me
Steph: so I hate myself
---
Damian: to the orphanage, there's a bed with your name on it
Tim: there's one with your name on it too
Damian: yep right next to yours so I can smoother you in your sleep
---
Dick: I'm getting real sick and tired of being threatened with the orphanage
---
Duke: it's not tequila it starts with a t though.
*Duke struggles for the name*
Duke: vodka!
Cass: *narrows eyes*
Duke: that doesn't start with a t
---
*Jason singing I kissed a girl*
Jason: *poking at cass* that's you
---
* Damian and Bruce talking*
*Tim starts having a coughing fit*
Damian: would you let me finish talking
---
Steph: you're a genius
Tim: thank you
Steph: shut up
---
*Cass as all the narrowed eyes and Damian as all the disgusted looks me and my coworkers throw at each other when we see something stupid or want to get on each other's nerves*
I showed this to my sister and now she's getting the game
They Scream together, like all good best friends do
How easy it is to make my sister get a game
Me: yeah so you are a little guy running a cult
Me: and there's a goat he's purple, we could play together
*shows fanart of goat and lamb*
Sister: damn I have to there's purple
I raise the angst one more.
Damian waking up from a nightmare, not wanting to show weakness he doesn't go to anyone but he can't seem to calm down so he starts singing a lullaby one his mother used to sing to him singing it in Talia's voice to try and trick himself
Mimicking voices
Damian's mimicking voices ability should be explored more in fics where he's being a little shit, or just acting like a kid and pranking his family, like Damian is comfortable with the family now he knows their voices but he also knows how they talk with I think is most important because you can imitate a sound but getting the way a person talks how they slur certain words or have different names for things because of the people that raised them, when he knows that about the family is when he can mess with them.
It'll be a quiet night when he first does it, he was scared to do it honestly because he didn't want to get in trouble with his father but he does he mimics Grayson's voice seeing where everyone should be knowing Grayson is the one alone right now, he tells Brown something so utterly grayson he can't believe it came out of his mouth.
Damian*in Grayson's voice*: betcha fiftie that you can't push RR off a building in tha next 20 minutes.
Damian says it so perfectly In Grayson's 'its time for chaos' voice that Dick is shocked and wondering if he said that.
That's the start, what really sells it is when one of his siblings does dare someone else over coms and Damian responds in their voice telling 'damian' to stop imitating their voice, causing a fight now no one is sure when the dare is or isn't from Damian, Barbra knows because their icons light up when they talk on her computer, Damian has bought her silence, Bruce knows but his baby is giggling listening to the chaos and its joy he doesn't hear from his son often so he lets it continue to hear his baby giggle and he happy like a kid.
*me and my sister talking about the song that is trending on tiktok*
Sister: that's Grayson song
Me: you go to his comms and he's singing that at the top of his lungs
*nods together*
Me: what redhead is he singing about though.
Sister: the most chaotic one
*me having flashes of Barbra, Kori and Wally*
Me: that doesn't narrow it down.
This is the song btw ⬇️
Mimicking voices
Damian's mimicking voices ability should be explored more in fics where he's being a little shit, or just acting like a kid and pranking his family, like Damian is comfortable with the family now he knows their voices but he also knows how they talk with I think is most important because you can imitate a sound but getting the way a person talks how they slur certain words or have different names for things because of the people that raised them, when he knows that about the family is when he can mess with them.
It'll be a quiet night when he first does it, he was scared to do it honestly because he didn't want to get in trouble with his father but he does he mimics Grayson's voice seeing where everyone should be knowing Grayson is the one alone right now, he tells Brown something so utterly grayson he can't believe it came out of his mouth.
Damian*in Grayson's voice*: betcha fiftie that you can't push RR off a building in tha next 20 minutes.
Damian says it so perfectly In Grayson's 'its time for chaos' voice that Dick is shocked and wondering if he said that.
That's the start, what really sells it is when one of his siblings does dare someone else over coms and Damian responds in their voice telling 'damian' to stop imitating their voice, causing a fight now no one is sure when the dare is or isn't from Damian, Barbra knows because their icons light up when they talk on her computer, Damian has bought her silence, Bruce knows but his baby is giggling listening to the chaos and its joy he doesn't hear from his son often so he lets it continue to hear his baby giggle and he happy like a kid.
Batman, how the f**k did you imply that!?
Bruce coming home from a justice league meeting going up to the bat computer Tim is sitting there Dick is leaning on the chair to look at the screen, Bruce sits down taking his cawl off and just looks up at the bats on the ceiling Dick and Tim notices Bruce's odd behavior.
Dick: uh you okay B ?
Bruce let's out the most exhausted sigh Dick has ever heard from the man. This makes Tim stop typing and look over as well
Bruce:... I might have implied that I was...
Bruce's voice trills off into a whisper.
Dick: what?
Bruce: that as Batman, Bruce Wayne is my sugar daddy...
Tim:...
Dick:...
Bruce sighs again.
Dick: this is why you need to tell them your identity dad
Bruce: unfortunately I can never tell them now because I will die of embarrassment
Dick: B you have to tell them
Bruce: do you want me to die of embarrassment Dick?
Dragon Damian AU!
Pt.2 Duke's New (definitely Stabby) dragon Brother.
Living with the Waynes is an experience; it's nice, not home, but the people there are family. The people here are insane, but that's besides the point. It's fun, he and Tim skate sometimes, Steph joins on her rollerblades, he and Jason patrol crime alley in the morning, aka Jason finds him when he's out as Singal to annoy him, he and Cass watch gossip girls together when theyre supposed to be training and he and Dick…
Then there’s Damian, the youngest, the fucking Dragon that made his heart drop down to his ass the first day he was here because of his aura, when damian walked in at first he was convinced an full blood dragon had stepped in and growled at him for being too close to his hoard. He realized his powers were acting up. To be fair, Damian is a dragon, the family is a part of his hoard, and he did growl at him, but it was instead of the hulking green and black beast he had seen; it was just a little kid. The rest didn’t react to the warning growl he got, so he assumed everyone knew. Because why wouldn't a family of detectives know?
Duke and Tim were at the skate park. Duke was sitting on top of the ramp, watching Tim go around and around in the bowl. They were the only two at the park. He raised his brow. Tim seemed out of it.
“Yo Tim, man, are you good?” Duke called down, his powers acting up a bit. He saw Tim's aura in the shape of a crow; most of the family were birds except B and Alfred. Duke shook his head, clearing his vision as Tim sat down next to him.
“We can head back to the manor if you're tired,” Duke adds as Tim sighs and runs a hand through his hair.
“Why does the demon brat like you?” Tim asked kinda suddenly. Causing Duke to blink at him
“Oh,” Duke says, understanding (at least he thinks he does), “I just gave him shiny rocks, like a lot of shiny rocks.” Duke nods to himself. Tim just gives him a confused look. It seemed pretty easy to understand that if you want a dragon to like you, you give said dragon things for its hoard.
“Why the fuck does that work” Tim asked.
“Why the fuck wouldn’t it work” Duke asked back both of them just giving each other confused looks. They were gonna continue their conversation, but then Steph came rolling in yelling with Batburger, causing them to lose their thought process.
Dragon Damian Au!
Tim is on the case
pt 1.
Tim, unfortunately, never knew how to leave a mystery alone, mainly when he accidentally develops a hyperfixation on said mystery, so when Bruce brought home a new child, his own kid, this time not one he picked out of the trash. Tim was intrigued, then the little shit stabbed him randomly when he got too close to Bruce, it pissed Tim off of course but he noticed something when Damian had stabbed him he couldn’t see the color of his eyes like his pupils where blown wide, like he was high, but as fast as it had happed the bright Green of the Al ghul’s lazuraze eyes where back, and TIm knew he had a new mystery.
That was how it started. It's been a few years with Damiain in the manor, and he’s still not any closer to finding out what's off with the Demon brat. He is less stabby, though. However, it's more accurate to say that the family has learned what not to touch unless they want to be stabbed. He's been gathering evidence, but the most significant piece of evidence came when Duke and Damian.
The family that wasn’t busy was in the manor to welcome Duke. Tim was sitting next to Steph, her legs across his lap, his laptop on her legs, her head in Cass’s lap while Cass was painting her nails. Bruce and Alfred were still talking with Duke and his social worker while they gave them a tour. When they got to the living room and the Social worker left, Damian came in from the barn. Duke was in the middle of talking about some things he liked; Alfred asked so he could add some of Duke’s comfort meals into his weekly menus. Duke stopped mid-sentence, his eyes glowing slightly, and looked at Damian wide-eyed. No one wanted to admit it, but they tensed, readying to stop Damian if needed. The two stared at each other, and Damian let out a growl, it was a usual thing from him, but Tim caught it, that growl sounded more like an animal than the other ones usually did. Duke held up his hands in peace and shook his head, which seemed to calm Damian: the subtle way his jaw unclenched like B’s does. Damian nodded and sat down next to B, and Duke went back to talking, subtly looking at Damian ever so slightly before he moved closer to anyone, like asking for permission. It took about a month before that stopped. The day it did, Duke was smiling and teasing Damian and not getting stabbed for it, and that caused Tim to pick back up the mystery. Because, yes, Duke was cool, skateboarding with Duke had become one of Tim’s favorite activities. Still, Tim has been Damian’s older brother longer, so he should be above Duke in the Damian favoritism scale. Duke hasn’t even been stabbed yet!
Putting Killer croc in a waffle House because I'm like 70% sure he's a southerner
My fucking 61 year old grandfather is watching hazbin Hotel, unprompted don't know how he found this, I'm taking him off the Internet
I was listening to this song and started imaging It was Bruce thinking of Damian when he first died, how he was so young, and how he didn't really get to see him grow up, missing all his first milestones, and now his baby is just in his arms dead he lost another child and didn't know him fully yet and now didn't have the chance.
'Do you ever think of me and my two hands? And wonder why they never soothed your fevers? And wonder why they never tied your shoes? And wonder why they never held you gently? And wonder why they never had the chance to lose you?
like this part him thinking at the funeral.
Brucie Wayne should only drive a minivan
I know a limo would have enough room,but like bruie picking up his babies from school he's pulling up in a minivan and he has the stick figure family in the back window. But also a minivan pulling up to fancy parties.
But also also
Batman getting called to a battle and the JL is just like bring all the back up you can
Batman pulls up in the bat-minivan
I think all he's kids just have Robin bikes or whatever they call them (I know Collin rides a motorcycle called the cycle of abuse which is fucking gold) but Batman had to have everyone pull up in the minivan or they need to minivan for the league members
This is amazing (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤ for me superbat works best if Lois is chill with it like Bruce doesn't have to be her boyfriend but Bruce is most definitely her husband's boyfriend but this is beautiful
*Bruce realizing that Batman for some reason has become the face of alpha males and people are posting homophobic memes with Batman on Twitter*
Bruce: Lois I need to kiss your husband on national television
Clark:*hearing Bruce and dropping what he's holding and looking at Bruce confused as hell*
Lois: *who knows about Batman becoming the alpha male icon for some reason because Kon and Tim have been laughing at the homophobic memes for weeks now* know what makes sense go for it.
Clark: what!
Batfam as stuff said at work
Part 2
*Damian randomly looking over at Tim with just complete disgust*
*Tim who was just on his phone doing nothing*
Tim: the fuck did I do?
***
* baby!Jason saying something so heavily accented that it makes zero sense*
Baby!Jason: that was proper English right
*dick and Bruce look at each other*
Dick: it was english ?
Baby!Jason: I do English good
Bruce: we're gonna need to get this boy a tutor
***
*bruce sitting in the batcave while baby!dick runs around, dick starts giggling*
Bruce: chum I cant see you, what are you doing your giggling sounds creepy
Baby!Dick: *louder giggling*
***
*Duke making a small mistake and then freaking out*
Tim: damn your ass is gonna get fire
Duke: Dude I am not!
Tim: you never know
***
Steph: your ass is going back to the orphanage
Dick: ???
***
*Cass and Damian watching someone do something so stupid and look at each other as the person leaves to just start giggling*
BATFAM AS THINGS SAID AT WORK
*Damian and Jon talking about the ruby Frankie situation*
*Clark walking up to them to check on them*
Damian: do you think you'd be indoctrinated into a cult Kent?
Clark: what? *Is confused on what a cult is*
*jon explains what a cult is*
Clark: like the people in Utah
***
*two gothamites in their apartment hearing something on the roof*
Gothamite 1: what is that
Gothamite 2: birds
Gothamite 1: what are they doing up there?
Gothamite 2: bird shit ?
*they stare at each other*
Gothamite 2: Idk I'm not a bird
***
*Tim after coughing a lot*
Dick: are you okay?
Tim: I'm dying
Dick: from?
Tim: idk
Dick: you should go to the hospital
Tim: I'll be fine
***
Jason:...
Bruce:...
Jason: damn a bitch can't die in peace anymore ?
***
Tim: you ever breathe and feel your lungs rumble ?
Kon: what?
Tim: *inhales and starts a coughing fit*
Tim: I'll take that as a no then, I should go to the doctor.
Kon: yeah something is wrong with you
The JL doing a 'hear me out cake'
Hal: puts a picture of Batman on the cake right after putting Bruce Wayne down
Barry: your picks don't count everyone wants to fuck Batman
Bruce:(who hasn't revealed his identity, also wondering why Bruce Wayne counts but Batman doesn't) thought y'all were scared of me ?
Oliver: just because you're scary doesn't mean you're not fuckable, ask kal
Bruce: mhm *he nods*
friendship bracelets
*Peter in the tower making those loom friendship bracelets*
Peter: oh shit, I don't know how big Bucky's wrist is.
Steve: Just go grab it?
Peter:... alright *goes and steals Bucky's prosthetic*
Finally got done with this bit of my Super Sons animation ✌️ based on Superman #10 by Peter Tomasi and Patrick Gleason
Damian Wayne one shot idea
Bruce had just gotten home from work earlier than usual he knows his kid's schedules by heart (he thinks he does) and is surprised to see Alfred in the kitchen T this time because he should have left to go pick Damian up by now.
Bruce: Alfred where's Damian
Alfred: he had a club meeting his friend is going to drive him home.
Bruce is like okay that checks out but for dick, Jason Tim and Steph who don't live at the manor anymore are hella surprised because they don't live in the manor anymore Duke isn't surprised because he lives there and I feel like out of all them he's the most sibling with Damian and Cass isn't surprised because Damian and her have a day where they dance and talk about the people in their lives gossip dancing.
So the older robins are waiting for Damian when a raggity ass white church van pulled up blasting this
*falls on the floor and cries*
you ever just think about how jason todd canonically went to heaven when he died but damian wayne canonically went to hell. do you ever think about how after they came back they changed in a way that would reflect the opposite of that outcome
Ideas about Damian Wayne.
Damian has a problem, he just doesn't tell people shit, at all he's not trying to keep secrets, because if he was the family wouldn't find out, he just doesn't because it's a family of detectives they'll figure it out if they want to, right?
Leads to some heavy misunderstandings about how well Damian is adapting to being outside the league of assassins. Especially with him having friends because the family thinks he only has Jon but really he has like a good handful. A small gang if he wanted, his family just doesn't know because they feel too poor when they come to the manor and they have a detective club at school so that's where they hang out most of the time.