Spilled Love - Blog Posts

muse

My muse, my light, my art knows your shades as if it were its own

I will immortalize you in my world, through and through.

With my brushstrokes as sharp as your words, with my colors as bright as your hearts core.

If you ruin me, i will let you.

you wear damaged scars on the tip of your fingertips,

My eyes only regard them for how they fabricate you glow,

Your breath a phantom of the winds soft kiss,

As you break my heart, I will beg you to do it slow.

My lovely muse with the deepest water under the shore,

I will drown, deeper and deeper with a smile till all ends,

As the life falls out of my being onto your ocean floor,

My love knew no limits, i loved as soft as cotton tends.

My ever young light, you live forever in my art

I watch gladly, as you tear me apart.

I'm don't think I'm a person,

Anymore.

I'm likely just a place

For daydreams to rest before

Finding someplace better now.

But is that something to mourn when I never truly knew,

What being human felt like...

8/idk. Follow and reblog to support

Do you think

The boy who eats nightmares,

Cries sometimes,

At the violence and sorrows

Hidden in the shameful crevices

Of our fragile minds

—That even his immortal self can't imagine.

Today is World Mental Health Day! Let's focus on peaceful things. 🕊️🕊️🕊️✨✨✨

🍂Autumn Self Care🍂

Drink your favorite tea, cocoa or coffee ☕

Get cozy & relax with a good book 📖

Bring nature indoors 🌱

Put on warm comfortable clothes 💖

Bake something you love 🥧

Get some exercise, take a walk through nature 🍁

Go apple or pumpkin picking 🍏

Carve pumpkins with family or friends 🎃

Watch your favorite Fall movie ☀️

Take a nap to recharge 💤

Positive Affirmations✨

You deserve happiness, respect, peace & love 💕

You will overcome challenges & obstacles 💫

You are talented, you are strong, you are brave 🌈

Your voice deserves to be heard, you matter 🗣️

You are loved 💛

You are enough 🌟

GENTLE REMINDERS 🤗💡❤️

Drink lots of water, stay hydrated, take breaks 💦

Circumstances you can't control aren't your fault 🍂

It's okay to say "no" ❌

Treat yourself with kindness ☺️

It's okay to reward yourself 🍧

It's okay if you're not where you want to be yet 🛣️

Your illness doesn't define you ☀️

It's okay to take a day of rest & do nothing 🆗

• • •

60 Resources & Hotlines 🌍

https://socialworklicensemap.com/social-work-resources/mental-health-resources-list/

🍂Take care of yourself 🍂

I lost a bit of you and you lost a bit of me, all in translation.

- reign

I hope it never escapes, the longing to call you today. I will hold it in my heart and let it decay, with the rest of me. Ah! Sure I will not forget you, do not fathom that I regret you. Know this, even if untold, I will see you in every spring leaf turned gold.

- reign

Maybe if

My shattered seams were laden with gold

I could have promised

To have and to hold

But like the former

I broke

-reign

It's a choice to be in love, as it is to be hurt by the ones we love. It's often those we love, that hurt us the most, because we've given them the ability to do so. We let them have special places in our hearts, prioritise them, their needs and wants, maybe get a little addicted to their company with more time and similar routines and let ourselves merge as though the process often completes us and makes us whole. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. But it is a choice, all of it is. And as much as it hurts, that's the beauty in love, to choose to be vulnerable with the ones we love, to give them the ability to see us whole, to see us naked, for all that we are, the flaws and beauty, saints and sinners. We choose to be in love knowing it might just wreck havoc before it's all over. We choose love over and over again, because despite the pain, there is beauty in vulnerability, there is beauty in being hurt by love, by the ones we love. This was our choice, to love and to hurt.

© Raina Rose.

Dear stranger,

This was what I was afraid of. Like waves that kiss the shore every now and then, though memorable, they can’t stay. After every touch, they have to retreat back into the ocean. We never quite understand if the shore was too much for the waves or if the waves lost breath upon shore. Momentary conversations and all the seashells you left for me have decorated my night sky and are some of my most treasured memories. Relatable experiences and sincere visits made me want to step back into the waters again after a long time. You made me feel that maybe the waters weren’t as scary as they’ve been described to be, and they weren’t as cold as what they may seem. Though blue and deep, it was heartfelt. Blue, the color of calmness, trust, faith, and wisdom. Your depth made me wonder what secrets you held, every visit only made me more curious than the one before. With the reflection of the sky, endless possibilities and journeys, you had me breathless. 

I wish I knew it was the glistening reflection of Sun that blinded me but I wasn’t too sure, so I ventured. You held me firmly, no doubt, but I couldn’t help falling for you. It was your love, none like the ones before that had me stunned, it was your sincerity that made me understand you cared, it was your words that had me floored. But I’m not new to giving into attachments easily, I am a sucker for love. I prepared for the fall that would approach me one day. I braced myself as you took control. I was afraid you’d let go someday, then I’d have to fall back into the chain of unending torment, self-pity and sleepless nights all over again. I’d walked away from all that hurt for the longest time and I can’t believe after everything I’ve been through, I ended up here again. I’ve been holding myself back for the longest time and I didn’t know what it felt like to be loved like that, where I wasn’t wearing a mask and wasn’t lying about myself, where someone loved me for all that I was and saw everything in me for me, as me. 

But that’s the thing with our story, while you glimmered all day, darkness and tranquility sets in as the Sun left your side. Every dusk only reminded me of all the times someone let go of my hands after venturing far into the sea. All that love and kindness did put up a fight with the walls I’ve built around my heart, but I’m glad I didn’t back down, this wasn’t a war to win, but to choose between myself and my own downfall. Though you mean no harm, it is me that I fear most. Journey to the downward spiral never did end well, having known my own demons and torments, I wouldn’t risk slipping again. As much as your darkness scares me, it is my demons that I’m more afraid of. They live inside of me, they linger, waiting for the right moment to pounce, to gain control and to never let go. They used to drive me mad, reminding me of all my attempts at happiness, all my failures, all my sins, and mistakes. Perhaps it is their faces that I see in your reflection these days.  

I hope you can forgive me one day for not returning, for moving further away, for never again being the same. Those conversations we’ve had by the shoreline will always be my favorite, for my love, those were the days I truly let myself fall without realizing. And there’s always a high in falling, but when you fall, it’s inevitable that you crash. It’s a shame it had to come to an end, the way it always does.

© Raina Rose.

I like broken people, they always have a unique way of seeing things.

I grew up hoping

I was special

But you made me believe

It was true