Curate, connect, and discover
The fact I've felt deeply alone as a trans man who acts "oddly" is hard to deal with. I'm just another dude, but suddenly I'm not queer enough because my hair isn't dyed! But I'm suddenly to feminine because I paint my nails. It's like I don't fit in anywhere in the queer community!!! Every queer space I've ever been in has always excluded me as a transman because I'm not enough to them! It's beyond frustrating to have to explain my every breath to people, especially other queer people who should understand!!!! I've recently been trying to come to terms that I may be bisexual and so many people have been telling me as a transman I either have to be straight or gay, that suddenly me being trans means I can't be queer in another way. It's depressing. I shouldn't have to even label myself if I don't want to! But I'm not enough of a man to others apparently!??! Even when I enter queer spaces I'm excluded and often ignored because I'm the only transman around for miles!!!!!
trans men & mascs are constantly in a damned if you, damned if you don't state of being when it comes to finding community with other queer folk. if we dress "too masculine" and pass for cis men, we are too threatening, we "scare" the women and (feminine) nonbinary folks. if we are "too feminine" and have long hair, wear makeup, have ""feminine"" hobbies, dress in feminine clothing, etc. we are constantly harassed for not being "Real men" and people literally proudly misgender us.
there's no way to win if people keep shifting the goalposts on purpose so they don't have to accept that trans men exist and are just as varied and complex as anyone else when it comes to identity and presentation.