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Eatingdisorder - Blog Posts
Jealous of her body
If this isn’t beauty then I don’t know what is
40 Reasons why I'm starving
1. To feel pretty 2. To have defined collarbones 3. To prove people wrong 4. To be something more 5. To have thinner legs 6. To have a flat stomach 7. To be petite 8. To look like a supermodel 9. To appear like porcelain 10. To be somebody’s thinspiration 11. Because I feel guilty every time I eat 12. To have self-control 13. Because I want to be graceful 14. Because I want to be the skinny friend 15. To have cheek bones 16. To be pretty 17. To have a thigh gap 18. To have sharp hipbones 19. To prove myself wrong 20. To let the lies I told become truth 21. Because I don’t want jiggling fat 22. Because I want tiny wrists 23. Because I’ve been fat for too long 24. To feel confident about my body 25. To be a size 00 26. To look stunning in pictures 27. To have thin arms 28. To be able to count each of my ribs 29. To be wanted 30. To turn heads when I walk 31. To make my parents proud 32. To stop feeling jealous of other girls 33. To be excited for wearing a bikini 34. To look cute and dainty 35. To have beautiful bones 36. Because looking in the mirror hurts more than starving 37. To be tiny 38. To be loved 39. To be happy 40. To be PERFECT
Repost for
Thigh gap💫
Rib bones💫
Collar bones💫
Hip bones💫
Slim waist💫
Skinny hands💫
Jaw line💫
Chick bones💫
Fuck it
When I want to do water fasting why this shit day always ends with binge? I need to cook everyday for family, and I just cant pass it without eating.i am not hungry but when I see food all i want is eat this shit full of calories and i have crazy shugar cravings. Help me!save me from fucking fat myself!
I want thigh gap, colar bones,hip bones,rib bones and for this I need to stop eating😢I need to do it!
I just need someone okey? Someone to be my ana friend,to support me,to give tips for me
Fuck I just had 2 followers. Well I am always alone and awake, message me whenever you want💫
Reblog this if…
Your followers can message you about anxiety
Your followers can message you about depression
Your followers can message you about their sexuality
Your followers can message you about their gender identity
Your followers can message you about body image & dysphoria
Your followers can message you about eating disorders
Your followers can message you about self harm & suicidal thoughts
Your followers can message you about family issues
Your followers can message you about relationship issues
YOUR FOLLOWERS CAN MESSAGE YOU IF THEY NEED HELP AND SOMEONE TO HEAR THEM.
We are all ears!!
(This applies to my followers too xx)
What about love?
When I was 12 years old I was just flirting with one boy at facebook.we were talking with videochats cause the distance between us was soo far.
When I was 13 years old I meet my first love(I still love him) my first crush, my first boyfriend, we were crazy in love with each other, he was hugging me and playing with my hair secretly, cause if anyone will see us together they would tell my parents. He knew I had very bad life, he was trying to make me feel happy.suddenly everything changes, he dont even looking at me, than I saw a girl at his friends, they had thousand of pictures together, they were comenting love words at each others pictures, I was fucking jealous of this skinny slut! Everyday seeing my ex with a slut is killing me inside out, I love him,it hurst but i know i will love him forever, I had whole life imagined with him, after second day we saw each other he just shouted front of school I love ..... (my name) my nickname is Amy but my real name is a secret. Well I am just dying, because of him I had insomnia, I diagnosed at 2017.
After 3 days of binge eating i just stand front of the mirror naked...
What I see? Fat,fat,fat,fat,fat,fat,fat!
When I wanted thigh gap,colar bones, flat stomack,hip bones,rib bones I keep eating like a piece of shit!
I need to control myself, when I see food I just can't stop eating, it is soo difficult but I need it! I need to lose weigh, I need to be skinny, I will die, I will die like this, I can't wear skirts,shorts,dresses,bikini. When I am going to family vacation I just sit at the sand and covering myself,staring at beautiful skinny girls, when I am at shpping in dressing room I am just sitting and crying, cause I can't fit in my favorite things😭
I will starve for whole june! I will starve soo hard, I will work soo hard!
Till my thighs don't touch!
Till i see my colar bones!
Till i have slim face
Slim hands
Skinny legs
Flat stomach
I can see my rib bones without sucking my stomach...
Can we became friends? Please...I need ana friends,to love,to support to be inspiration for each other...
Skinny hack- ❤️Ana’s friendship bracelet❤️ Tie a ribbon or something around ur wrist tightly so when your wrists get smaller then the ribbon will slip off
I am tired, tired of binge eating, starving😭
i need to be thin for the summer
i need to be thin for the summer
i need to be thin for the summer
i need to be thin for the summer
i need to be thin for the summer
i need to be thin for the summer
i need to be thin for the summer
i need to be thin for the summer
i need to be thin for the summer
i need to be thin for the summer
i need to be thin for the summer
i need to be thin for the summer
i need to be thin for the summer
i need to be thin for the summer
i need to be thin for the summer
i need to be thin for the summer
i need to be thin for the summer
stomach: h u n g r y
me: tHiRsTy??? :)))
stomach: bitCh i nEed foOd
me: water** haha, stupid autocorrect
stomach: FOOD H U N G R Y
me: W A T E R YAAAY WATER :))))
Now repeat with me:
You are not hungry, you’re bored
You are not hungry, you’re bored
You are not hungry, you’re bored
You are not hungry, you’re bored
You are not hungry, you’re bored
You are not hungry, you’re bored
You are not hungry, you’re bored
You are not hungry, you’re bored
You are not hungry, you’re bored
You are not hungry, you’re bored
You are not hungry, you’re bored
You are not hungry, you’re bored
You are not hungry, you’re bored
You are not hungry, you’re bored
You are not hungry, you’re bored
My goals for this year🦑
Lose 15-kg before 4 july🦑
Lose 10 kg in July🦑
Lose 10 kg in August🦑
Lose 5 kg in September🦑
I want to be soo skinny, I want to feel my every single bone when I touch my body💫
I will post some updates with my pics
I will start water fasting tomorrow💧wish me luck💫
Text me💫
Follow me💫
P.s my name is Amy and I am 15 years old, broken suicidal alone girl with insomnia and Ed.
109.2
9 pounds away from goal weight.
50 sit-ups just because I had a slice of cake today.
I hate myself.
Me without You
I cannot tell if the reason I now want to be skin and bones is because you left me. I cannot tell if that was the match hitting the strike or just some kindle to a roaring flame. Did I always feel this way? There are no words left, because you stole them all. You could have saved me an explanation, but I guess my tears were answer enough. I thought I would become a person, but I’m less now than I ever was. Just a pebble in an ocean, instead of a boulder in a pond. When you feel deep in your heart and soul that you do not matter, things start to not matter. Life does not matter. Your health does not matter. So while I try to see the inside of my skeleton, I hope she was worth it, while I sit here and die.
I think the hardest part is convincing yourself that you are not hungry.
I binged today and now I feel so gross. I'm so full that I feel sick. 🤢
Today I attempted my very first fast. I made it to 21 hours! I'm very proud of myself! Tomorrow I'll try for the full 24 and progress from there 👍
So I've been super super anxious lately. Started a new job, went back to school after summer break. And now I'm not eating. Less in a purposeful way, but more in a im not hungry and I don't know what to do about it way. I need help. But I have no idea what to do. I can't go to inpatient hospitalization because I'll probably lose my job. And I can't miss school. But everything is getting so difficult. And I'm so lost and so confused. If you have any advice, please share. I could really use it.
I swear it’s following me around. I’ve told people about it, but they don’t believe me. In the shower, I’m terrified to close my eyes. What if it sneaks in from the drain and puts its skeleton hands around my waist and won’t let go until I’m drowning under the spray of water and can no longer scream for help? I lay in bed at night as it knocks at my window. “Let me in”. No. “Let me in”. I close my eyes but then the feeling comes back again and I realize now that I’ve opened the window. Now it’s staring at me. It grins. It tells me it’s sweet stories, tongue licking at my ear as it lulls me to sleep. But in the morning, when I wake, I can barely move. I’m sluggish, disoriented, confused. Each step is like standing on hot coals, but I cannot get my body to move further than the end of my bedroom. And I hear it again, “Don’t go out there. Stay in here. It’s so much better in here. Isn’t it?” I stand as still as a painting as the voice repeats itself over and over. I know it won’t stop until I’m under the covers, until I’m in bed and don’t leave until I’m nothing but a skeleton and some tears. But I slam my first against the door. I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this. I mumble under my breath, but she cannot hear me. “What did you say darling? I know you’ll feel better once you get back to bed…” I slump against the door, wondering if maybe the bed is the safe haven I’ve always been searching for. But then that feeling comes back. “Im hungry.” I say defiantly, as I rip the door open. There is no one there. Just wisps of black flying out the window. But I know she’ll be back. But as I slip into the bathroom, I tremble as I stand on the scale. I hope for above 100. That’s all I need. Something to cling on to. I hear her claws against the window but I stare at the numbers until my eyes lose focus. 99. I can deal with that. I lift my shirt, my ribs are showing, but when I run my fingers along the expanse of my body, I do not feel all bones and misery. She claws again. “You’ll feel better when you don’t eat.” She whispers from outside. But how can I feel better when I can barely stand? How can I feel better when my body starts to collapse inside itself imploding like a broken star? I stumble out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. “There’s nothing here you want.” She says. But my stomach is growling and I don’t care what I eat anymore as long as it’s food. No more crackers. No more skipped meals. No more fainting. I read a book about a girl with an eating disorder. Bulimia. She died alone in a seedy hotel room when she threw up one too many times and ripped her esophagus clean open. Choking to death, in order to be perfect. I may be skin and bones and I may think about dying. But I will not let this monster take me. She speaks kind words into my ears and part of me wishes for the warmth of my bed, the calm of my room. Maybe she is right. Maybe everything will be better when just the skeleton of me exists. And I turn around and take a step towards my room, and she smiles. “Good girl,” She coos, like I’m a little baby, learning how to walk. But I’m learning much more than how to walk, im learning how to survive, how to be perfect. But someone once told me that there was no such thing as perfect, and that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And the last time he told me I was beautiful, my heart sank into the depth of the earth, growing like a tree ready to reach the sunlight above. So I reach for that candy bar, and she screams, “Stop stop stop stop. What do you think you’re doing??” And I remember what it feels like to eat cotton balls, the cloth sticking to my mouth like peanut butter, but it was not peanut butter. I remember checking boxes for calories, when I should have been checking for prices. I remember crying alone in my room, wondering who’s going to save me, or maybe I’ll die alone in a hotel room, like that girl in that book. But when I bite into that candy bar, the monster dissipates. I no longer have to hear her cries, her soft words, her screams. And suddenly I remember how good chocolate tastes, how real food feels in my mouth. And when my friend calls me to go to dinner, I reply “yes”. This will be my first full meal in two months. I think I’m going to cherish it.
Melissa Rose