Wanting To Impress Your Partner

What do apologies mean to someone who doesn't believe them? [Howl Pendragon x Reader]

summary: although you've actually forgotten what he did to upset you earlier that day, you weren't going to give him the delight of forgiving him just yet.

to know: 17+ for suggestive themes + tons of kissing, no pronouns so everyone can read!, probably around 700-800 words.

"Are you still mad at me?"

An old chair groaned and the fire crackled once or twice as Howl loaded it with a few more logs, nudging them into a neat formation with a long piece of iron. Calcifer was far into dreamland, hiding far below and betwixt the hearty slabs of wood until the first light of the morning, or until Sophie started making a ruckus on the stove. Besides the occasional comment from Howl, not at all hushed or considerate to Calcifer, or his chair crying out from his fidgeting, the entire castle was at ease, at peace, asleep.

Howl was the exception to all of this, of course, finding your silence to be disconcerting and unbearable despite his attempts to make his unrest clearly apparent. You simply sat there in Sophie's old wicker-backed rocker, the one chair in the castle that didn't make a bunch of noise, absently flicking through the pages of your catalogue. There was no real reading you'd get done with Howl being an incessant brat trying to weasel himself into your good graces.

To be honest though, you had forgotten what had set you off earlier, only remembering that Howl quickly got miffed by your response and the majority of the day was spent with you out in Market Chipping, whereas he sulked in his room with his many thousands of doodads. By evening time, your frustrations had slipped off of you like water, yet couldn't bring yourself to admit so to Howl.

Awful as it might've been, sometimes that man needed to sweat a little.

So, you kept listening to his chair squeal as he tipped onto two legs, his heels pressing into the face of the hearth to keep himself from toppling forward. A couple of times now you glanced sideways just as he craned his head back, glistening blond hair falling away from his face as he looked at you, doubtlessly hoping to see you looking back. You always pretended the fashionable pictures in your catalogue stole your gaze away.

"You are so cruel to me, so much worse than the grouchy witch living with us." Howl lamented with a sigh, picking up his head to stare on into the dimming embers. "What do you want me to do? Was dinner not enough? Are you going to ask me to beg? I won't do it."

You rolled your jaw hard enough to make it crack, still somehow keeping your composure as more pages fluttered against your fingertips. "Stop being ridiculous. I just want you to apologize."

He gave a troubled look. "Again? Three- or was it four- times wasn't good for you? Any more and you're going to use up all my apologies for the year."

You let the catalogue flip shut, moving it aside to the pile on the ground before standing from the chair. "I want something sincere, not you just apologizing to say you were, Howell. I'm going to my room, goodnight."

His expression was unreadable when you gave him a final look, shaking your head while turning for the stairs. The chair never made a noise as you ascended to the next floor, though truthfully the wails of the worn boards flexing underfoot would've been enough to drown out most of anything from downstairs.

Once changing to your pajamas in the bathroom, snuffing the candles for the night on your way out with an armload of clothes against you, a jolt raced down your spine to find the candles in your room already alight, casting dancing shadows on the adjacent walls in the hallway. You didn't even make it all the way inside your bedroom before Howl had you by the forearm and pulled you the rest of the way.

He was quick to toss aside the clothes in your arms, gently edging your back against the now-closed door, pushing himself flush to you and stooping his shoulders and head to press a hard kiss to your lips. He kissed you like that again and again and again, so many times that you relented early on by coiling your arms around his neck, managing discreet smiles between every kiss.

"You naughty thing, you don't think I didn't figure out what you were up to?" He touched his lips to yours again, briefly and with a loud smack. "It's like you really don't know me at all. Shame on you."

It was hard to stifle the laugh in your throat when he changed his focus to your cheeks, peppering those kisses to your ear, jaw, and neck while his arms roamed the back of you with far too much eagerness.

You let the back of your head hit the wall, taking in a breath through your nostrils as he worked his way across your skin. "To be fair, I was pretty upset at you earlier. I... forget what for. It was petty of me to keep it going, I'm sorry."

His lips stopped on your neck, simply caressing your skin for a moment before he lifted his face away to look into your eyes. Time didn't do much in way of desensitizing the way your gut fluttered, ears blooming with heat he'd look upon you with such sincerity. The depth of darkness in the room was only penetrated by the gentle glow of candles dotted throughout, one nearby enough to make shadows sway across his face and make his blue eyes seem more like glittering crystals.

"I've lied to you twice today," he started, assuring that his arms were firm against you. "The first lie you have my word I'll never do again, and the second was just a while ago when I told you I would never beg. If it meant you would forgive me, always look at me as you are now, I would do anything you'd ask of me... more or less..."

"Howl--"

"I'm sorry. Can you hear it in my voice? Do you believe me when I say it you now?" He kissed you again, and then one more time. "I'm sorry."

He only stopped kissing you when the first light of dawn filtered through the windows, even then he still held you in his arms.

a/n: hope you enjoyed! this was just writing practice for me tonight, but if you did enjoy it would mean a lot for yall to interact or reblog!!

Hello hello hello, I'm here to ask for like headcanons or an imagine (or whatever, idk, can you tell I've never requested a fic in my entire life) about Luka slowly realizing he actually has feelings for someone? Like genuine ones? I'm not super duper into Alien Stage but I imagine him being super fake (and manipulative lol) especially when it comes to dating. Like, I don't even think he would get into a relationship if he doesn't get something out of it, but what if he, y'know, slowly starts to realize he actually likes the person he's with? Like how would he deal with that and stuff 🫣

GOLDEN BOY, BROKEN GLASS, MAY THE SUN SHINE ON YOU !!

premise— it’s hard to know, to realize, that he has fallen in love, not when the genuine concept of it has been slowly eradicated and painted into something twisted and cruel by the hands of these aliens; alternatively, what he’s like slowly falling in love and coming to terms with it. content tags and warnings — pairing: luka (w/ gender-neutral reader) | kind of established relationship, not an alternative universe, slight angst with fluff, i fucking hate you heperu (heperu is luka’s guardian alien) | wc: 0.7k ; headcanons

"jellyfish"— i was listening to sad music so now this came out as sad

The ‘love’ LUKA had received from Heperu was the only love he had known and so, he views the world around him in the same lens, carving his heart out of the same rotten wood that was used to create his being. What can he do in the face of something so tender, so sharp, so gentle, like needles stabbing into his hands but caressing him sweetly all the same?

Was love meant to be as draining as this? Was it meant to tire and wear out his bones? Was it meant to make his heart clench, thorns ripping at his throat? Was it meant to make him reach his hand out for you, to let his touch linger across your skin, to always seek the feeling of your fingers intertwined with his? It’s a little strange, the odd ‘pain’ in his chest blurring into an unfamiliar feeling of comfort and warmth. He’s not one to run away at the face of such unusual feelings, but maybe he’ll turn away from it, to dismiss it as nothing (it’s not what Heperu taught him).

When did his eyes start to follow you everywhere you go? When did he begin to wish to chase the shooting stars, despite the constricting feeling on his throat, just so he could have the chance to see you, bare and flawed underneath the same skies that had forsaken him, that had abandoned you? He never had seen the problem of hurting others or being hurt as long as it is meant for him, for his own good, but when he sees twist in your expression, the hollow in your eyes, the tremble of your lips, he’s suddenly bitter and thorned. He tries to be kind, in ways that he knows of, in ways that he has seen, experienced, and learned.

To be seen as nothing but manipulative and cunning with his princely and charming demeanor, to be seen as a blank slate, to be seen only on the surface of his sweet smiles that never seem to reach his eyes. But it’s better to be misunderstood than to have you see the wretched and tangled strands that is sewn to create the fabric of his existence, to be viewed under the same limelight he is being put beneath than to have you notice the bleakness of color in his golden eyes that rivals the sun—except his light never exists, only when he gazes at you does it ever shine.

It’s hard to understand him either—not when he cannot understand himself also. He wishes to take away all of your pain, all of your problems and worries, to have you rely on him and only on him, to view the world in your eyes, to cup your cheeks in his hands and press his lips against yours (he has heard of the act of kissing, a strange way to convey and pour one’s desire, adoration, and love to another). He’ll lie down on the grass with you and watch the stars, he’ll listen to your songs and music, he’ll let you put those red flowers found in the Anakt Garden on his hair.

Maybe he does and say such things in the name of ‘control’, ‘possession’, ‘obsession’, or anything that can be used to label whatever reason he has just so he could see that pretty shade that adorns your cheeks, the smile that etches across your lips, the sound that bubbles out of your throat, the eyes that glimmer when you look at him. Maybe it’s just those feeble things that make him feel humane, that makes him break away from the shackles that binds him to the image of ‘Luka, the star’, that makes him realize that he does adore you.

(Whatever this fragile bond you share with him, built on weak foundations of the love he has known and the love you have shared, fragile and fleeting like glass teetering on the edge, he’ll seize it, he’ll shape it, and he’ll make it unbreakable—he’ll make it real, he’ll make it his.)

He likes to believe that he deserves the kind of love he has yet to know of, out of the clutches of Heperu and into the warmth of your own. To hold it into his hands, tightly, unrelenting, never letting go—contorting into control as long as it is his.

© AZULLUMI. plagiarism of any form and type, stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms is NOT permitted.

some sleepy scenarios

## since you all seemed to enjoy the sleepy dialogue prompts~

tracing your lover's features as they sleep

trying to count the freckles on your partner's cheeks when they're asleep

waking up with their legs over yours as they're stretched out and comfortable

taking pictures after finding your lover dozing peacefully while bundled up in blankets

running fingers through their hair as they snooze against your shoulder

feeling their fingers run through your hair while they lull you to sleep

napping on the couch together

hearing them snore a little for the first time

maybe the snoring is small, quiet and you can't help but giggle since it's kind of cute

or maybe it's quite loud and you realize you plan to spend the rest of your life with this

seeing that they're finding a hard time finding a comfortable position so you pull them into your arms

being annoyed because it's extremely hot out and they insist that they cuddle that night

laughing at their messy hair in the morning

sleepy kisses peppered all over their face

seeing them pout or scrunch their nose a little in their sleep

needing to use the restroom but they're clinging onto you like a koala and you don't want to wake them up

they're sick and finally fall asleep sprawled out on the sofa ..meaning you can sit for a few minutes yourself

apologizing when you call them and hear their deep, sleepy voice answer

pulling them back into bed before they go to work but they accidentally dozed off again and is about to be late

trying not to laugh too loud when you discover they talk in their sleep and say some very questionable things

SM’S UNFAIR TREAMENT OF IDOLS

This might not get a lot of attention but I really hope people pay attention in order to help the situation. Recently, one member of nct (subunit nct dream) Huang Renjun, has been seen to be severely mistreated by his manager. First, it was telling him to stop talking about another member in nct (Winwin), then he was asked to move in a vlive to let another member be in the middle. Also, this manager forced him out of the car with his other members to find his own ride back, IN THE RAIN, without an umbrella!! Several fans have also reported that another member, Lee Jeno, was been groped by this manager. Reportedly, she kicked Renjun out of the car so she could sit next to Jeno. This behavior is absolutely inexcusable. This is the mental abuse of MINORS. Jeno has asked before to not be sexualized and just bc he won’t be a minor soon, does not allow people to have free range over a nineteen year old boy. Many EXO-Ls may also remember in the beginning of EXO, three Chinese members left and one tried to file a lawsuit against SM for mistreatment. This has been going on for YEARS and nothing has been done. Another thing to note is that this mistreatment and abuse has been focused on CHINESE members only. Korean members are shown preference. I ask that everyone please unfollow sm and speak out against SM enetertainment. Even if you don’t stan or follow these idols, this is the mistreatment of MINORS and PEOPLE ! Please don’t ignore the issue

When the guests came and you can’t get up from the table and go to your room

Dialogue Prompt List - Long List

Angst

“All I wanted was a happy ending.”

“Mistakes are easily made in the moment. Apologies are not.”

“I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”

“My emotions have been turbulent for so long, I’m not sure how to react.”

“My heart tells me to kiss you, my head tells me to walk away.”

“I don’t want material belongings! I want my heart back!”

“Until you can return the time I wasted on you, I don’t want anything to do with you.” 

“Grief is natural they say. So is death. I don’t want either.”

“You can’t look pretty and dangerous at the same time. Not yet.”

“Kill everything dear to you and then you will know how it feels.”

“I don’t hold people close. It makes it easier for them to hurt you.” 

“Don’t touch me. Your skin is poison.” 

“Why won’t he/she/they call?”

“I’m dreading her/his/their call, I’m not ready.”

“I don’t like this, it feels weird.” 

“Kill my feelings, kill my soul. Kill everything I am.” 

“Don’t call me, I don’t want any contact with you.”

“Please don’t talk to me, I’m dealing with some stuff.”

“It’s not working out. We’re not working out.” 

“Hey, I’m leaving for good. I’ll…see you around.”

Fluff

“I want to eat a yoghurt with you.” 

“Can we make cake? I like cake.”

“I like your rainbow shoes.”

Please hold me. It’s been a day.”

“I’ve never felt such love.”

“The moon is high tonight, it frames you well.”

“I want to dance through an army of fireflies with you.”

“Stars pale in comparison to you.”

“My heart hurts when I see you and I find myself drunk on the pain.”

“I would give up everything for the chance to see your laugh again.”

“Monster Inc. was onto something, your smile and laughter runs my entire world.”

“I dedicated this nail to you, when I painted them.”

“All I want is to sleep by your side.”

“Cover me in badges of your love.”

“I’ve never enjoyed anything more than a hug from you.”

“You look yummy.”

“My hand was made to fit into yours. That’s all there is to it.”

“I didn’t get soaked wet through walking to your house for you to say no to pizza. I have beer too. I know you’re sad, so let me in.”

“This might sound so creepy but I want your skin. It’s so pretty.”

“You just dropped love into my heart and that’s all I needed.”

Soulmates

“It was a matter of time before we got together.”

“My soul sings when it feels you.” 

“Please, please hold my hand, and make me whole.”

“My life missed yours forever.” 

“If my soul had been cut in half at birth, it would have gone to you.”

“We’re two bodies with one soul only.”

“I couldn’t imagine my future without you now that I have you.” 

“I feel like I’ve died now he’s/she’s/they’re gone.”

“Please take my soul and never let go.” 

“I’ve never seen colour like I do with you.” 

“All my soul yearns for is your presence.”

“We can’t win. Either I have you and my soul sings but your cries, or we’re apart and your soul rejoices but mine dies.” 

“Time is what we don’t have, but you are what I need.”

“I didn’t think I could find someone as perfectly matched as you.” 

“Please treat me with kid gloves, my soul can’t take much more.”

“Soulmates don’t have to be romantic. Sometimes your soul resonates with a friend.”

“This existence would mean little without you.”

“Why try to force it? If we’re truly soulmates, it’ll happen.”

“Please keep me close until the close of the final day.”

“Everything about you is amazing to me.” 

Friendship Specifically

“Wow, that is a ridiculously bug watermelon. I love it.” 

“Let’s drink wine and trash talk our co-workers.” 

“What do you mean you’re sick?! You’re my partner in crime!”

Best friends are a rare breed and you are the best of best friends.” 

“Everyone’s out on dates, want to each ice cream and binge watch (insert TV show/movie).”

“I’m here for you. I got your back.” 

“Thank God for the internet. I don’t know how I’d live without you.”

“I’m the pun-master, you’ll miss me when I’m gone.” 

“No one understands the effort of a long distant friendship.”

“They don’t approve of our friendship, but I don’t need them too.”

“In the end we migrate towards comfort. I am my most comfortable around you.” 

“Why date when you can spend the night with me watching shitty TV and drinking.”

“Never underestimate friendship.”

“If you quote Yu-Gi-Oh’s power of friendship one more time I will kill you.”

“Even if we don’t talk for days, I’ll always be your best friend.” 

“You can take as many breaks as you need.” 

“Friendships can be difficult, but those that survive are magical ones.”

“You know I will be with you forever. Friends until the end.”

If they try to keep us apart, they’re idiots.”

“There’s nothing like a boys/girls/friends night.”

sometimes you have to be a bit mentally ill to get mentally well so if thinking naruto would be proud of you for brushing your teeth is what gets you to brush your teeth well grab that toothbrush dattebayo

oh god i remember this 😂

Angst/fluff Prompt List

Please don’t repost (stealing isn’t cool, but reblog if you wish) <3 <3

“I love you, please don’t go.”

“Stay here tonight.”

“Please don’t walk out of that door.”

“I thought things were going great.”

“Don’t you love me?”

“You make every day worth living.”

“I’ll keep you warm.”

“I’m never letting you go.”

“You meant too much to me.”

“I won’t let you.”

“How could you ask me that?”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“I won’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me.”

“You look amazing tonight.”

“Shouldn’t you be with him/her?”

“I’ve got you.”

“I can’t sleep, can I stay here?”

“It’s late.  Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“How are you feeling today?”

“You look amazing tonight.”

“We’ll figure this out.”

“This isn’t goodbye.”

“What’s cookin’ good lookin’?”

“Wanna go grab a drink?”

“What the hell were you thinking?!”

“Here, let me help you.”

“Kiss me.”

“I care about you.”

“You could have warned me!”

“That was unexpected.”

“You haven’t lost me.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Don’t cry.”

“Please don’t do this.”

“You make me feel safe.”

“You’ve shown me what love can feel like.”

“Thank you, for everything.”

“All I wanted was for you to be happy.”

“I can’t do this on my own.”

“I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.”

“Don’t be afraid.”

“You’re always on my mind.”

“You have no idea how much I want you right now.”

“You’ve always felt like home.”

“I can’t imagine this world without you.”

“Dance with me.”

“Trust me.”

“Why are you crying?”

“Who hurt you?”

“Nothing is wrong with you.”

“You make me feel alive.”

“I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

“Who cares about what they think?”

“Let’s go.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“You’ve always got me.”

“I’ve waited for this moment for a long time.”

“Is this okay?”

“You look like you could use a hug.”

“Did you need something?”

“Do you have a ride home?”

“I am home.”

“What happened back there?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“Why me?”

“I’m right where I belong.”

“Fine.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”

“You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?”

“You need sleep.”

“Excuse me?”

“What are you doing?”

“What did you expect?”

“You’re not alone.”

“We’re meant for each other.”

“You’re worth it.”

“I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”

“I’ve always been honest with you.”

“It’s cold, you should take my jacket.”

“Just breathe, okay?”

“When I’m with you, I’m happy.”

“Going somewhere?”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Don’t be scared, I’m right here.”

“You’re so adorable.”

“I’m better, now that you’re here.”

“I could never forget you.”

“Forget it.”

“That’s in the past.”

“You make me happy.”

“You’re more than that.”

“I won’t lose you too.”

“Come cuddle.”

“Can’t you stay a little longer?”

“It’s not that easy.”

“I’ve had enough.”

“I fell in love with you, not them.”

“You’re the only one I wanna wake up next to.”

playing hard to get [pt. 2]

as you were a person of bubbly character, he'd gotten used to your bright and cheerful nature, and the ridiculous shenanigans that came along with it. that included your numerous tries to woo him into dating you, with each attempt ending in failure. you weren't too depressed by it, returning to your usual jovial personality even after rejections... and he'd taken that for granted. he didn't expect you to do the “push-and-pull” tactic on him, and neither did he expect it'd work so well.

includes: zhongli, albedo & kazuha

pt. 1 - diluc, xiao & childe

pt. 3 - ayato & heizou

ZHONGLI, despite his tendency to forget his wallet in times he offered to pay for dinner or his shortcomings regarding with romance in general, still managed to grasp the hearts of men and women alike. it wasn't odd for the ferrylady to knock on his door and tiredly brief him about yet another visitor eager to see him, and he had to wave them off if they weren't a client for the funeral parlor.

there was one person he couldn't possibly fend off, though. you.

it's not that ZHONGLI didn't want you to leave. it was more of his inability to urge you to do so. his stern rejections didn't deter you from continuing to court him, thus you were unafraid to see him once more even after yesterday's answer being a firm “i can't reciprocate your affection.” your tenacity was impressive, he'd give you that, but that wasn't an actual compliment, was it? he was only calling you a stubborn fool, one way or another.

it didn't help that you were closely acquainted with the funeral parlor's director, hu tao herself. your presence was greatly welcomed in his workplace, as her good friend, and nobody could turn you away. ZHONGLI could understand why you got along so well; you were both troublemakers in your own right.

when you came over that afternoon, he had already prepared himself for a terrible time. you often pestered him to go on a date with you, and he regularly turned down the invitations without a second thought. the thing is, you could take “no” for an answer... but the reason you assume behind that rejection was “he doesn't like the place” instead of “he doesn't want to go with you,” hence you pestering him to visit a more agreeable location. you knew he'd eventually give in if you annoyed him enough.

but that didn't happen. you headed straight to hu tao's office without offering him a single glance, papers in hand, and he assumed it was work related. that meant you wouldn't come disturb him anymore: a cause for celebration!

yet that didn't pull a sigh of relief from him, much to his surprise. he only felt... conflicted. his muddled feelings mixed into a sense of unease, and it wouldn't leave.

ZHONGLI perked up when the office doors swung open an hour later, unknowingly anticipating your figure to strut through. “do you want to go out for lunch? i heard the restaurant nearby got a new menu. my treat, since i received this month's salary,” you grinned at hu tao, who brightened upon the news of free food.

meanwhile, ZHONGLI did the opposite, slumping over his chair. he'd heard of the new menu. in fact, he thought it sounded delicious, fitting perfectly with his tastes. he assumed you'd ask him out like you always did. he wanted you to ask him. no, hold on a second... why was he feeling this way?

“a tempting offer, but...!” hu tao sighed loudly, catching his attention. with an inconspicuous wink, she said, “i'm afraid i have a pile of work waiting for me! hey mr. zhongli, would you mind coming for my stead?”

he was sure you'd think hu tao was helping you court him and not the other way around. that was okay for him, too.

“...it's fine,” he said, settling his paperwork off to side of his desk before standing from his seat.

“nope, don't be so fast to reject me, ZHONGLI! if you don't like that restaurant, then we can- huh?” you blinked at him owlishly, in utter disbelief. he almost chuckled fondly at your strange expression.

(he steeled his resolve to end this “push-and-pull” once and for all.)

it was of no surprise to know ALBEDO despised anyone who'd dare disturb him in the middle of his studies, and yes, perhaps you were the sole exception, but you were on thin fucking ice. even klee had to stay out of his room when he was busy. he'd been patient at first, politely requesting you to leave for the time being or wait until his work was over, but it was hard to remain as generous when you were... plainly speaking, being a bother. everybody knew it was taboo to intrude his office, and really, you were only a distraction he didn't need to be around.

sucrose had been the poor recipient of all his grumblings, left with no other choice but to awkwardly laugh whenever complaints spilled from his mouth. still, she noted the hint of fondness lacing his words; annoyed nonetheless, but not to the point that it gravely upset him.

“is it that bad for me to visit? i try not to talk...” you inquired one day, pouting as ALBEDO was clearly occupied with mixing an oddly colored concoction. he sighed, explaining that even only the presence of another could be a hindrance. he pointedly left out the part where he'd end up getting distracted by your pretty face, which was actually the real reason behind his actions.

that moment, you simply nodded in solemn understanding, but he didn't think better of it. yet when the next day came, you didn't swing by; ALBEDO was elated, assuming it was just a lucky day, but you didn't visit the next day either. or the next, or the following days after that. when a week passed and there was no sign of your whereabouts anywhere near his office, his concerns grew tenfold.

it was, admittedly, humiliating to turn to the door excitedly whenever he heard a knock, only to be crestfallen to see sucrose. honestly, what was he expecting? she was his assistant, so of course it'd be her and not anyone else. that was how it was supposed to be in the first place without your meddlesome presence.

ALBEDO was certain she picked up on his disappoinment, though, if her amused giggle was anything to go by. “i heard [name] traveled far to fetch the flower you wanted to examine since forever,” she informed, kindly pretending not to see the embarrassed flush of his cheeks. “we should give a gift in return!”

“...yes, you're right.”

he didn't miss you, not one bit. absolutely not.

...that being said, he should probably practice his poker face before you returned to mondstadt.

KAZUHA, as carefree as he might seem on the surface, was more cautious than everybody gave him credit for. he didn't respond to your advances not because he didn't like you back, but because he didn't deem himself fit to be your significant other when he'd often leave liyue with the crux fleet to explore. he couldn't promise you a stable relationship, and he thought you deserved someone better than a boyfriend so quick to abandon you.

he told you as much, but you never listened, firm in your decision to stay with him. no matter how long his trips lasted, or how many other people asked for your hand — you wouldn't budge at all.

KAZUHA became content with that, deep down in his heart. he didn't want you to date someone else either. but it wasn't like all his thoughts would be shown to the entire world, so he could choose his words carefully, pick the most rational option. and that option was to let you go, since that would make you happiest.

still, he loved it whenever he saw you waving enthusiastically at him from afar each time the alcor arrived at the harbor. he loved it when you jump into his arms, eager to touch him again after weeks without seeing a glimpse of him. he loved it when you bury your face into his neck, unable to see the pure adoration reflecting in his eyes, the fond expression he had to hide all the time when you were around.

he loved you.

but he had to restrain himself for your sake. that was for the best, wasn't it? he couldn't be selfish. binding you to a relationship wouldn't do you any good. it was far better for you to meet someone else who could actually stay by your side, someone who wouldn't trade you for anything else. someone who could treat you right.

but something in him shatters when he doesn't see you at the docks. the alcor finally returned after a month, and he was near enough to recognize faces from afar, but you weren't there. you were nowhere to be found, and he was growing frantic. you didn't have to be there, but he felt nauseated without your presence. where were you? he hopped off the ship, landing gracefully on steady ground, and he didn't hesitate. his eyes swept across the entire area, searching and searching and searching, and-

who was that man beside you?

“oh, KAZUHA, you're back!” you exclaimed with familiar cheer, grinning widely. he couldn't bring himself to force a smile. “ah, i'm a bit... busy at the moment.” you gestured towards your companion, who nodded at KAZUHA in greeting. “but i swear i'll come once this is over, i promise.”

“it's fine. take your time,” the words managed to escape from his mouth despite the uncomfortable feeling lodged in his throat. you frowned at his despondent countenance, reluctant to leave him as is. you glanced at the man accompanying you, and he took it as his cue to walk ahead.

awkwardly, you shifted your weight from one foot to another. “w-well, i'm... uh...” you were unsure of what to do to lift his spirits. still, you raised your hands to grasp at his shirt, taking a deep breath to prepare yourself. you pecked him on the cheek, successfully snapping him out of his stupor, and he yelped in surprise, his whole face erupting into a shade of crimson. before he could compose yourself, you hastily stepped away from him, waving farewell. “w-we'll be going now! don't miss me too much, okay?”

dumbfounded as he was left behind, he cupped his cheek, the skin where you made contact with tingling beneath his fingertips.

you were just in front of him seconds prior but he already wanted to see you again, so it seemed that he couldn't follow your instructions, unfortunately.