Openin’ The Door To The Microwave One Second Early Because You Don’t Need All The Hootin’ And Hollerin’

I deserve an em dash. As a little treat

you knock on my door and hear loud barking and scrambling noises and me yelling "no!! down boy!! down!!!" and then when i open the door there is a single crab on the floor

Why would I write when I could imagine my characters going through the story and then get upset when a copy of the work doesn’t magically appear in front of me

walking past kfc gives me goddamn dead wife flashbacks

no outlining, we struggle with the plot halfway through like real men /j

"No young man, no matter how great, can know his destiny. He cannot glimpse his part in the great story that is about to unfold. Like everyone, he must live and learn."

scientists wont tell you this! (because it's not true)

experts don't want you to know this! (because it's made up)

doctors HATE this one trick! (because it's dangerous and unhealthy)

the real true purpose of having a brain is to think about fictional characters