Good Night

01.19.25

fujoshi to tmasc gay pipeline

a second chance (been thinking about hunter's apprenticeship a lot lately)

gyaru gal

#thoughtsandthings

Dysphoria. Is. A. F#cking. Spectrum.

did I want to be a boy?

ever?

Truly? no.

not ever.

no.

but regardless, there was a time, many years ago, I would have said yes.

and unlike for many, for all the wrong reasoning.

I hated how my chest felt. how it felt with clothes. how they moved without clothes. how they touched my skin beneath with or without clothes. The minute sounds they could make depending on motion, temperature, texture. how they felt if it was hot.

Then there bras. God I hated bras. They were designed to be hated. so uncomfortable. especially back then. itchy, wire frames possibly the worst aspect of most. straps too tight on the shoulder muscle, or else useless. itchy also. always seem to need adjusting, but also refused to get fitted because hell no to touch.

my clit... ok so her I wanted bigger. happened anyway and probably would have continued to some degree anyway. Problem here is how such a thing is so often, and without thought, associated to manhood. because so little is known of the word clit even hearing or reading it (not sorry) causes a fuss and internal screams. even know we don't know enough to be able to speak of full capabilities (we are talking about our own bodies here😩).

facial hair? i would have said yes to this too but with this, honestly?

I just wanted her to be able to look at me the way she looked at him...

that first girl I fell for that had already fallen for him, the stupid boy version of me she'd call him, whilst crying on me every time he made her sad, whilst I seemed to live just to make her happy

and her my first real girlfriend who slept with my first real boyfriend.... in front of me after already kissing another him on a trip away because she missed me and some boy sorta looked like me, she said.

and as I got older still, all those guys that got in my already well prepped for paranoia head, that they could get my girl in their bed if they wanted

maybe I fantasies about wearing what they did so I could be the only thing she sees

you know

There's so much talk about ending the binary. When are we ready to talk about the spectrum of dysphoria?

When its not just transgirl or transboy and the end of the dysphoria journey.

When is that gonna be as acknowledged and given room, and space.

Jesus its like everything is for binaries now.

Anyway, honestly this one was written now but for younger me. I hope it heals you kid. Little autistic kid with no words to say but so much to write. I do. I really do. You are you. And a binary it can't hold you, be it cis, be it trans, there is no one or the other, this or that one side vs other side. There's you.

Don't use this post to be a transphobic & if you do you'll be laughed at nor reacted to, for illiteracy tbh

HE SCARED OF THIS PUSSY🗣️HE SCAREDDDDDDD HE SCARED OF THIS PUSSY

(that song is stuck in my head, i apologize).

I think the sky is trying to say something? 🤔 👀 🏳️‍⚧️

Haiiii everyone, I'm new here, I'm Kali, im 18, im a trainsgirl, I've got AuDHD, I'm also a w(b)itch in an engi college trying to get by through the bullshit life throws at me, i love shows like the owl house, dead boy detectives and helluva boss/hazbin (i do NOT support Vivianne though, i pirate all her episodes, do tell her i wanna see her bitch about it on twitter uwu) im also incredibly weird, and yeah haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii :333

(also i might do free spells if you want me to hex your abusive ex or abusive mom/dad whatever yada yada yada)

When you're trying to sleep but remember something embarrassing that happened years ago

what an odd pairing. bee cat and pumpkin ghost

(BEECAT PLUSH REVEAL SOON)