The Thing About Bullets Is That You Can Touch Them And It's Fine, But If They're Shot By A Gun They Get

Live. Laugh. Longsword.

fuck you (runs your cast iron pan through a dishwasher cycle)

When you were brought to Camp Half-Blood, you were told that one of your parents is a Greek god or goddess. You were supposed to be claimed as soon as you got to Camp, but you weren’t. When you’re finally claimed at the bonfire, your godly parent is not what people expect.

Mammon: oi human! What's your ideal type?

Mc: Strong and Tough

Mammon: Once I killed ten mosquitos-

Mc: But also who are sensitive

Mammon: -and after killing them, I cried for an hour.

The most unhinged s3 reveal for the alice=armand theory would be if alice exists as a completely separate character but she's played by assad zaman in a dollar store wig

Join me on my journey to finally unbalance my hormones, toxify my body, boost my inflammation, maximize my cortisol and absolutely destroy my gut health.

its a great show from the gifs i’ve seen of it

Is there a support group for people who have no idea what they’re doing but fake it really well?

i bought pre-cum strawberries today at the store and they were like twice as expensive but theyre so fucking good theres not any bad ones in the bowl and i dont have to waste time doing it myself now. so worth it

This post existed ten minutes earlier than this time stamp and it made me think I'm insane

I'm rewatching IWTV and there's something so interesting about the fact that Armand chose to pretend to be a human companion to a vampire in front of Daniel, who had been his human companion for years. And there's also something interesting about the difference between "I serve a god. It is an honor to serve" and "I'm the Devil's minion and he grants my every wish".