Myself

Similar All The Same

I'm a little punk

A little rebel

I used to be the opposite

But similar all the same

Then I fell in love with something I can't have and my heart sunk

My heart is a devil

The burn causing flame in my brain got lit

The beast of my heart I couldn't tame I used to feel guilt like hell

It had complete control over me

Therefore I had nothing hidden

Dealing with the devil, my guilt was a good idea to sell

I broke free

I became guilty ridden The free rain ran over me and cleaned my obedience away

I broke them damn chains!

I began to hide during the day

Some of my fears I told to go fuck themselves, went down the drain So now I'm everything that screams courage and fearless

Every word that I write helps me to be tearless But I am still similar all the same

I’m Diseased

I’m diseased of adults

Assuming the worst from me

When it is just me

Then they give me a hard time

For nothing

I’m diseased of being a millennial

And adults assuming

That I’m lazy

And addicted to my phone

When it’s just me who just so happens to be different

I’m tired of feeling

Like I’m worthless

And no one will ever

Truly

Fall in love with just me and I them

I’m diseased

Of teachers

Thinking they are better

Because of a degree

At the moment I’m just 1,000 degrees of rage

I don’t want to go to school

I don’t want this factory process

Of being separated

Embarrassed

And torn apart

I’m diseased of being a product

And not a person

The only thing I’ve learned from school

Is that if you don’t want to be bent around

Then keep your mouth shut

I’m diseased with adults

Smoldering my fire

My passion

My,

Will to live and carry on…

Fight or Fight

I must fight

Anxiety wants me to flight

I have to go against my natural instincts

I cannot blink I wish I had an understudy for my life

You can't know about my thoughts of stripping bark

My brain as sharp as a pocket knife

You are not where I want you, get back in the dark Writing to win

Losing instead

Not wanting to gamble, so far not taking the free spin

I need to stop with the lead No more of this weak space

All my poetry I should erase

My nightmare of my Achilles's heel getting wounded came true

Is this new? I should have seen it coming

I am back to owning nothing

My body is numbing

No pillow for fluffing Broken trust

You use the excuse of caring

I won't hesitate anymore when I burn bridges to dust

I understand what I'm going to have to be bearing All of the decisions after another decision

I will make with the most precision

My fear,

Is that I won't manage to get off this revolving sphere

Talks

Your voice rises as you get emotional and yet you forget to feed your robot a coin to pay

Skips are calmer and thought out in a, we’ll get through this sort of way

Your tiring voice like a shitty song playing on and on

Talking about the same quarrels over and over

Like you’re trying to wear them out

I'm waiting for time to kill

I can’t wait for my future

Except for the bills

Making me broke

I'm going to choke

On air

Dare

Repeat

Take a seat

With rare rests

In this home of a nest

Going fast, fast, fast, which I think is boring

You need dynamics in your pointless argument

You need to put down some sort of hard flooring

Trying to make a point with your pointless, unneeded voice

You're trying too hard like a coal miner with a death wish darker than soot

Get new material! Stop using old artifacts of the ancient Egyptian empire covered in dust

You make things more dramatic than an entire theater with all the living parts of a stage fight

I'm sitting back mouthing words and hoping you are illiterate in the lip reading of me about to bite

Too Much

This is the story of my life

I get too much love

Too much

And I’m just not built to hold it

Perhaps I was built for the low life

But sometimes I get too many punches

Too many

And I’m just not built to hold your knuckle sandwich

I’m starting to think I wasn’t made for loving you

I’m too full of hate and anger

Too full

And I’m just about to take it out on you

Because you have too much love

You’re too clingy

Too clingy

I’m not built for you to suck away my life like the leech you are

The more you latch and attach yourself to me the more you repel me

Too much death

Too much

And it has and is currently surrounding me

Along with the presence of a rock and a hard place

Too much love and too much party punch

Too much,

To ever digest

When will it end?

Or will it never?

It’s been too much

But I’m done caring about the past which has only been one extreme to another like,

One foot in a bucket of ice and another in fire

Too far on opposite sides

Too far

They do not balance out in a nice way

One extreme and the other one

Hopes and dreams too far

Too much,

Too far

Hot Tears

Hot tears could set this place on fire

All these flame flame flames

Who aim aim aims

These flame flame flames

At me?

But even if this place burned down

It would lack lack lack,

You, come back come back come back

I lack lack lack

The part, of my heart that you took

I've become so hot that I'm blue

Into my life you came came came

Do you think this is a game game game

The way that you came came came

And left me

You left me with hope that has evaporated

You had hope hope hope

To keep this boat afloat float float

I want that beautiful hope hope hope

Sos

I know that I'm just wasting paper thinking that we shall meet again

Life just seems lame lame lame,

Without you, do you feel the same same same,

About this being lame lame lame

Amy?

Fall Down, Get Back Up

I had my life seemingly together

But then the air turned into leather

With every breath my chest grew heavier and tighter

My head started to feel lighter

Get back up

Don’t give up

Propel

Out of Hell

Sometimes I fall down

And I forget that it doesn’t mean that I will lose my crown

I will rise

And get the prize

I have to get back out there

To breathe the mountain air

Sos Is No Longer

I don’t want to be a rock

And I no longer want to be an island

I don’t want to be superman anymore

I also don’t want to be saved

Because it never works out,

When someone else is wearing the cape

I'm the one who rides this roller coaster

That is truly,

Made for only one

I must learn to accept

What I never have

Because I can’t live my life in a false reality

People say that I'm smart

Yet I fail more than the average person

People say that I'm strong

Yet I hurt more than the average person

And for honesty, I write because I'm so sensitive

And I'm tired of climbing mountains With new people

Sos

Is no longer

A silent thing I scream

I want to sink

Into this cold water

And drown in my life

I keep finding myself

Stuck on the same ship,

The ship of Theseus

Metal People

Why aren't the metal people melting in this heat

Why am I still out here? It's because I can smell sand and salt 

And the heat reminds me of summer

Although

I am questioning what in the world am I doing The birds chirping

The traffic

The anxiety It feels like a good day

For the beach and nothing else To get your feet burned in the sand

And the sharp feel of shark water But I'm here on an uncomfortable park bench

Made to look like a place to sit

Made to be uncomfortable So much for the brick and concrete, cars and calc I could have drove home and be arriving there now

But why would I want to be there Have I become one of the metal people

Just here watching the other people I guess not quite yet

Because I can feel the human slowly dripping from the pits

Anxious Anxiety

I want anxiety to be anxious of me

I will hold my ground without being an earthquake myself

I will stand still and strong; there will be no such thing as a shaking knee

When the time comes I will weigh so much you will not move me with anything

Beating the ill out of illnesses; it will be the one in need of an amputee

I want depression to be happy for me

Everything should watch out for me because here I come

I might look cute but that’s just my disguise

“I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream” I hum

There’s strong and then there’s Taylor strong

I am the cherry bomb

No longer will I fall into your guilt trap

Not everyone is there for you and sometimes you are alone

But I don’t need anyone when I have myself; if you think otherwise you’re thinking crap!

I’m writing this cheese for my future self to not cut

You like tigers so don’t be a donkey without a tail

Don’t forget that you’re hungry for success

Don’t forget that it is good to fail

I think you learn more and go farther in life,

When you are done fixing the hole in dear Henry’s pail

I am a train chugging on broken tracks and I love it

With my emo black boots it feels like I can go anywhere in the world

It keeps me interested in where I am going to go and where I’ll find that I fit

I can’t stay curled

I cannot stay still and sit