Unhealthy Self Development Mindset: Believing You Have To Change And Become “better” Due To Low Self

take care of yourself

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mentally — journal: do a brain dump · meditate · remove toxic people and triggering things from your life · recite self love affirmations · think happy thoughts · if negative thoughts come, it’s okay, that’s inevitable.. let them be but don’t let them stay · take walks to clear your mind (watch your surroundings-be careful) · block, unfollow, and mute accounts online that make you feel bad about yourself · disconnect from the world - social media - the news etc often in order to make peace your priority, reset and recharge

emotionally — allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling : cry - scream -laugh - smile .. let it out · process your feelings, the good and bad ones · try to understand them and try to work your way through them · journal daily · tell people how you feel and how they make you feel because keeping things like this bottled up isn’t good · be kind to yourself · be patient with yourself · know that your feelings are always valid and no one can ever tell you how to feel about something

physically — exercise · try yoga/pilates · drink enough water every day · try to eat breakfast lunch and dinner daily · brush your teeth in the morning and before bed · wash and deep condition your hair · don’t skip your skin care routine · get mani/pedis · practice good hygiene/shower regularly · moisturize your skin · get facials · get enough sleep · use sunscreen

september is giving main character. i will stand on business this month when it comes to me. i won’t play about me this month because i KNOW i’m HER! i have a magnetic presence even when I’m not seen. i don’t even have to be in the room for my aura to be sensed. people can’t help but to luv me. i am everyone’s dream girl. of a presidential caliber. i set the standard. exclusive, luxurious, high commodity DOLL.

Being high maintence is my form of protection

High maintenance? Absolutely. And let me tell you, it’s a title I wear with pride. I’m not here to settle for average, and I’m certainly not going to make myself smaller just to make other people comfortable. I know what I deserve, and I expect nothing less than the best in every area of my life.

From the people I surround myself with to the way I treat myself—nothing is ever ‘good enough’ unless it’s top-tier. I’ve worked too hard, sacrificed too much, and leveled up too many times to accept anything that doesn’t meet my standards. If that makes me high maintenance, then so be it.

I don’t just want luxury—I demand it. I don’t just want respect—I command it. And if someone can’t give me the quality I expect, then they simply don’t get access to me. I’m not here to be anyone’s second choice or a ‘maybe.’ I’m the gold standard, and if you’re not willing to meet me there, you don’t belong in my world.

Being high maintenance isn’t about being picky—it’s about knowing your worth and refusing to lower your standards for anyone. The right people will appreciate that about you. The wrong ones? Well, they’ll watch you from the sidelines while you keep winning.

So, yes. I’m high maintenance. But in my world, that’s exactly how it should be.

Why being delusional is the best solution | IT GIRL DIARIES

"being delulu is the solulu" - a pretty bitch

In today's world, being labeled delusional may often be seen as a negative insult, usually implying someone is out of touch with reality, which isn't wrong i mean.. ,but what if i told you embracing a form of delusion could actually be a powerful tool for manifesting your goals and changing your life?

Being delusional, in a positive sense, means creating a new belief or fantasy in your mind and living as if that is your reality. Over the years, I’ve realized that this type of thinking—where you treat the fantasy you create as your true reality—can lead to life-changing transformation.

View life as a game—one where you can choose who you want to be, like changing a character in a video game. I was fat and I didn't like that so, I decided to see myself as a "skinny girl" and live out that reality. I programmed my mind to believe this new identity, and my actions followed. The mind drives our actions; once I embraced my new self-image, my choices and behaviors naturally aligned with it. Eventually, I lost the weight, and that once “delusional” thought became my reality.

The key is to truly believe in the version of yourself that you want to become. By continuously reinforcing that belief, your mind will start sending signals that influence your actions to match this new identity. Whether you aspire to be wealthy, successful, or fit, the process remains the same. Create the fantasy, immerse yourself in it, and allow it to guide your actions until it becomes your truth.

So yes, being delusional is the solution. It’s about harnessing the power of your mind to reprogram your reality. By deluding yourself into the person you want to be, your actions will start molding you into that person, whether it’s the fit version of yourself, the wealthy version, or whatever else you desire. When used intentionally, delusion isn’t madness—it’s manifestation.

mwah! xoxo, colebabey8.88

www.investingforbeginners/gumroad.com

STOP Being His “Spoiled” Girlfriend

HOW TO RECEIVE GF TREATMENT WITHOUT COMMITMENT!

“My man, my man, my man,”

You’re not spoiled being on standby when you want to be secured, sorry. It cancels out.

Here’s why you’re still a placeholder even though you’re being spoiled by the most generous boyfriend in the world:

You’re giving up the cat (with excitement bc he’s “spoiling you). I can stop here.

You’ve claimed commitment in exchange for his companionship (and coins). This means you’ve loss the leverage of having him chase and most likely don’t care to make him chase

Most of y’all are receiving gifts, not investments (purses not properties)

The strategy of “Beneficiary Dating” allows you to receive both gifts and investments from suitors without being on standby for a ring (or to bend over)

Here’s how you can receive Girlfriend Treatment WITHOUT becoming anyone’s girlfriend:

Commit to celibacy, please

Keep them at a physical and emotional distance. Y’all We can’t WAIT to pillow talk about our traumas and past relationships. Detachment please

Have the goal of marriage without rushing to get married

Become the girl they beg for commitment, even if you know you’re going to always say no.

There’s a psychological allure of perusing something that is not accessible. Or someone that’s not accessible- you.

You’re inaccessible for commitment without a masculine making you the beneficiary for their life insurance plan. I don’t make the rules!

First comes investment, then comes intimacy

Click to learn how to “Beneficiary Date”

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Becoming "that girl" and the trap of materialism

Work on your inner self before making any external changes.

It's easy to believe that the next new thing you acquire, whether that be clothes, beauty procedures etc will be the thing to solve all your problems in life. But, it probably won't. All it will be is a drain on your resources and you will still be insecure, just with more stuff. This is not to say you can't buy those things, but to be mindful of the reason why you're buying them. Do you actually want it? Or have you been led to believe you want it, by marketing, social media or what other people are doing?

Even if you don't necessarily like what you see in the mirror, it's important to have love for yourself regardless. At the end of the day, all our bodies are is a vessel for us to inhabit. Despite our best efforts, we are not always going to be looking 100% because life constantly throws stuff at us. There will be times we are so busy we don't eat as well as we should, or stress may impact our appearance through weight gain, acne or bloating. If we go seeking validation for this vessel from the outer world, we make ourselves vulnerable to attracting bad people/energy into our lives. If we are mentally in tune with ourselves, this reflects into our outer appearance and we cannot be shaken by external influences.

You can love yourself and think you'd look objectively better with a certain procedure or a different weight. You can love yourself and want to be different than the person you are currently. A desire for improvement that stems from your love of self is stable and patient. This is important because real change doesn't happen overnight. If you lack this self love, you cannot be objective about yourself and will end up in a never-ending series of 'quick-fix' changes in the impossible pursuit of perfection that will leave you worse off in the long run.

Things you can do to develop your inner state:

Shadow work - Your unresolved tensions from past events will repeat themselves until you address them.

Read/listen to podcasts about things that interest you - Don't you love seeing the way a person's face lights up when they talk about something they find fascinating?

Reducing your social media time - Social media is fake, everyone is just projecting the image they want to project and you have no clue what's truly going on in their lives. Take part but be mindful of this.

Practice gratitude and kindness everyday - To yourself and others. Thing about the simple routines in your daily life, how lucky are you to be able to partake in them? Someone's being a bit rude to you? It's nothing to do with you and everything to do with how they show up in the world, so don't take it personally. A bad personality makes a person look ugly, no matter how attractive their appearance is.

Exercise - It does wonders for mental health. Start small and work your way up. It can be as simple as taking a walk outside or following a YouTube video. Even if you give up halfway, you still showed up and gave something. Something is always better than zero.

Change your diet - Our mental state is impacted by the things we choose to put inside ourselves. If you're eating ultra processed foods like McDonalds, Doritos etc on the daily you could probably feel better than you currently do. You don't have to go crazy and cut everything cold turkey (you'll more than likely relapse), work on making small swaps for healthier versions of the things you like for a sustainable, long-term approach.

How I get whatever I want.

- Journal. It’s important to plot out what you want before you begin doing anything new. Sit down, concentrate, and take the time to visualize what you want for yourself. Journaling is an extremely effective tool, and it’s important to be able to write about what you want instead of creating a concept in your mind. 

- Make goals less abstract: Find or make a path to the goal, then zone out (networking, reading, research). Your goals should not be abstract or difficult for you to understand. They should be clear, planned out to the best of your ability, and reasonable enough to achieve in 90 days. If you have a long-term goal, set up a series of short-term goals that will set you on the right path. 

- 3 month hiatus and just fixate on work. Be strict with time and money, keep a schedule, don’t allow minor distractions to sway you from your path, and use the next 90 days to bring yourself closer to the finish line. Can your hiatus be longer than 3 months? Yes, but if it becomes necessary to extend it, be sure that you’re engaging with the real world and not isolating yourself.

- You have to be sure of what waiting and a little bit of luck will do for you. So much of it is a waiting game, and while I believe that it’s important to work hard instead of being hard on yourself, knowing that luck plays into your success is imperative. If you don’t see immediate results, keep going until things fall into line. 

Plan, prepare, and then put your whole soul into action.

where to start

introduction:

self-improvement looks very simple on paper. eat better, workout, have a skin care and hair care routine. lower your screentime, study, be organized, have hobbies. but trust me i know how difficult it is to actually DO the things you talk about doing. how hard it is to even know where to start, and how to stay consistent. roadblocks also happen, things out of your control. but ultimately you can make change in your life, just little by little.

planning:

during this stage you need to think of what you want to accomplish and creating an action plan full of steps that can get you there. i've provided my own example too :)

prioritize your physical and mental health. when those things are improving then pretty much everything else in your life will start to follow. just look at yourself now and think 'what can i do better? how can i be happier & healthier?'

write down your goals.

create an action plan for each goal. what steps can you take to achieve this goal? make a step by step plan.

come up with things you can do everyday to reach that goal. what adjustments can you make in your everyday routine that'll help you get there? for example, i want to make an etsy shop so i sew for 20+ minutes a day on weekends, and sew 30 minutes on weekdays.

excecuting:

the most important part is slowly easing into your new habits. look at your goals and think 'what steps am i taking to reach it?'

meeting your basic needs. before you even think about self improvement make sure you're taking care of your health and hygeine. this means eating enough, being hydrated, taking care of your hygeine. always make sure that your core needsre met consistently before you even begin.

start small. once you've gotten consistent with meeting your basic needs then start making small changes. (ex. exercising for 10 minutes, reading for 10 minutes, start small with the habits you planned) dont overwhelm yourself!

have a fluid plan. be open to change- if something really isn't working then adjust it! and, when you continue to do something for a while, start doing it longer- i used to walk around 1.5 miles daily for almost a month and then started doing 2.5. keep increasing until you're at a healthy point.

having a good mindset. as always make sure your mindset is good. remember that progress isn't linear- you're going to screw up sometimes and get off track. just make sure you learn from every experience.

conclusion:

no matter what there ARE going to be problems or things that don't go your way, things that aren't in your control. since my 15th birthday i've been applying to jobs left and right, over 30 or so, and it's been 5 months of rejection due to my age (15 year olds can only work 3 hours in a row and most places need more). since i can't control that i just keep applying and in the mean time i focus on the other aspects of my life! it can be really frustrating but you just have to keep pushing.

hotties habits⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍰💕

this is a post about habits that i've adopted that u can also adopt to elevate ur mind, body, confidence and spirit…💬🎀

SERVE COMPLIMENTS ;

start getting comfortable with complimenting yourself often, so much so to the point where compliments from others isn’t that big of a deal because YOU compliment u so much. this builds self esteem and self image. knowing that u don’t have to rely on the compliments of others only means that ur more confident.

and not only giving urself compliments but also complimenting others is an amazing way to boost self esteem and confidence while doing the same for someone else.

CULTIVATE CREATIVITY ;

something that has helped to elevate not only my mind but my femininity has been cultivating my creativity. i started to do this through my blog and through my pinterest account.

like thinking of new content to make and learning how i express myself has been so amazing for not only my confidence but for my creativity and i feel so much more feminine when im creating. starting my blog has helped me with self expression, helped me to learn new things and meet new people, and ultimately share and document my growth etc.

STAYING IN MY GIRLY BUBBLE ;

i dont like to over consume media and especially media that gives of negative energy or just toxicity. such as those balloon popping romance videos like im NOT with that. being more careful and conscious of what i choose to consume has helped my health so i just usually stay on my pinterest and a few other social media apps but just, keep urself protected and be careful of what u watch.

WEARING LOTS OF PINK ;

lastly, this is totally personal and its simply because its my favorite color and i look SO pretty in it. its just such a feminine color and its the best color (i dont make the rules). but in all seriousness having a specific element about my fashion that im consistent with is helpful for lots of reasons.

for example 99% of the things that i own are pink including my school supplies. i go to a school where we wear uniforms but i always make sure to accessories and highlight PINK. therefore everyone associates me with the color pink and things that are girly.

you can take this and do whatever u want with it. it doesnt have to be a color, it can be a specific style of dress or something that u like to wear often just have something distinct about you thats your SIGNATURE.