He Is Not My Favourite Sacrificial Lamb, He Has No Bite

why I don't use AI for school work, and I don't think you should either

I have been staunchly against using AI for as long as ChatGPT has been a regularly used tool, not necessarily for moral reasons but for arrogant ones. I firmly beleive that I can write a better essay then a malfunctioning robot. My teacher used it to generate photos of scrabble tiles for a wall display, and despite the prompt spelling the words exactly correctly, ChatGPT spelt them wrong. Why would you want to trust a clearly flawed machine with your grades? However recently the sheer amount of people I see at school using AI and supporting the use of AI is so horrifying to me I felt it was something I needed to talk about

Using ChatGPT prevents you from learning properly. Doing things quickly does not equate to doing them well. I understand how difficult it can be to schedule and make time for everything, but using ChatGPT is just like getting someone else to do your work for you. You will not learn! (Most) teachers are not setting difficult homework for the sole purpose of making things hard for you, they set the work to help you learn and to grow resilience.

People are using it for completely stupid tasks, that they could perform far easier without it. For our English Portfolio Essays the SQA requires us to have a certain amount of sources and so many people asked ChatGPT to find them articles. It was ridiculous and slightly horrifying. Have we lost the ability to simply look things up for ourselves? Or to, god forbid, read a real book? Do not use ChatGPT for tasks that could be performed to a higher level if you simply did them yourself! My mother has a friend who marks Advanced Higher Biology Assignments for the SQA, she recently marked one that had 30 references, none of which were right! ChatGPT is not a good tool!

Yes it can save time, but what would you do with the extra time? and surely there are other ways of saving that time. Don't use it to help format emails, there are human made email templates available online, don't use it to help find quotes, you can just search them up yourself on a normal search engine, whatever ChatGPT does for you, there will be an honest hardworking person willing and able to do for you, please go to them instead. If ChatGPT saves you fifteen minutes a day is that really worth it? and if it saves more time then what do you do with that extra time? scroll tiktok? watch netflix? you are not saving time you are wasting your life!

the unsent project

i like to browse the unsent projects messages, and make myself feel sad over all the lost love in the world

i search up my name over and over, obsessively

i search up your name over and over, obsessively

they say we reflect the love we are shown

and maybe there is something in that, because when i look up your name there are hundreds of messages

and when i look up mine

there are two

i sent some of the messages to you

and when i scroll through every dark green one catches my eye

and the really pathetic thing is that i don't remember which ones i sent

maybe what we had wasn't so special if i am mistaking others messages for mine

i dont know

but i do know that you probably never search for my name

and you have certainly never sent me a message

under the x-ray all i am is you

i think if they put me under an x-ray

they would see every place you ever touched me

they would see a deep green glow over my heart, a forest of pine up the inside of my leg, a radioactive sheen over my knuckles.

they would see cool and fresh mint leaves where my eyes should be, and poison ivy intertwined with my rib cage

everything you ever did for me, everything you ever did to me

i carry it all

flowers for my lovelies

the killing of the weeds

we've all been told that they pick the flowers they think are the prettiest

and they do, they pluck the beautiful ones when they are young and they display them for all to see

but hidden away behind this is their treatment of the less beautiful ones

the ivy and and the dandelions - the 'weeds'

a weed is not a specific breed or family of plant, a weed is defined as 'a wild plant growing where it is not wanted and in competition with cultivated plants'

a weed is any plant that does not conform

a plant that is wild and unruly and a law unto itself

a plant that challenges the status quo, the norm

a plant that grows in competition, a plant thats non-conformance makes it brighter and bolder and braver

i can tell you what they do with those plants

they rip them out

they try and remove the roots as best as they can, to try and remove any chance of the resilient weed bouncing back up

they pour weed-killers, harsh chemicals designed to destruct

and they do so repeatedly

the forceful and ferocious beating down of those that dare to be different

the killing of the weeds

no one cares about that

they kill the weeds

When Dostoevsky said, "Pain changes you, but it teaches. That is its mercy." but Kafka said, "Pain changes nothing. It just repeats itself until you forget who you were before it started."

i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith

oof

on lurching towards the breaking point

The X-Files (01x17) // tumblr user @/inkskinned // Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

you don't win any prizes for doing things the hard way.

tw: mentions of ableist thoughts, mentions of self harm

I have been resistant to accepting the extra accommodations and help that I am eligible for, because i was really scared of being seen as stupid. i was forcing myself to use unhealthy coping mechanisms to get the stuff done, and it didn't always work, but i felt somehow superior to others struggling with the same issues because i was taking the maximum amount of subjects, and refusing extra time and extensions.

i thought that by waking up at 4am to get my work finished i was somehow better than other people.

i got to a really bad place where i was struggling so much to concentrate that i would deliberately hurt myself before assignments or exams. so whenever i got distracted or tired i would never be able to ignore the pain or discomfort i was in, and that would remind me that i was supposed to be working.

this was, obviously, wildly unhealthy.

anyway, this year i was given extra time in my exams and assignments for an unrelated issue, and oh my god it was so good. even when i was worried about the exams i was never stressed about time. i came out of my rmps exam without feeling like i was going to throw up for the first time ever! i finished my biology assignment in record time because i wasn't paralysed by stress and indecision.

when i go back to school next week i am going to talk to my teachers and advisors about accepting the extra help i am eligible for, because i've realised that i don't win any prizes for finding it harder than others and persevering despite it. everyones grade transcripts just say what grades they acheived, it doesn't say how they felt or what extra help they required.

accept the help you need. you're suffering does not make you superior.