Under The X-ray All I Am Is You

ATTENTION TO THOSE IN THE POETS PORCH COMMMUNITY

PLEASE CAN PEOPLE REBLOG THIS

hi i want to talk about the account versesbyaaliyah, parallax4o4 already did a post on this and they received a lot of hate, but the things they were saying were 100% correct.

almost all of the posts by the versesbyaaliyah account flag up as being mostly or partially AI generated, and a lot of accounts on this community are clearly bots.

i just wanted to warn other new poets that it 100% looks like this community is being used as a way to steal new poetry content for AI's to learn off.

working this out was super upsetting to me because my poetry is really raw and personal for me, i ttalk about very specific experiences i have been through, so the idea that someone was stealing my content was heartbreaking.

so yeah just to advise y'all it would maybe be a good idea to delete your content from this community and leave

studywithelle pinpost

I am 16 and i am in S5 in Scotland

This year I studied Highers in English, Biology, History, Latin and RMPS (religious moral and philosophical studies)

Next year I will be taking Advanced Higher English, RMPS and Modern studies, and a Higher in Classics

I hope to study English at Oxford, and then do a law conversion degree

I play cello (taking grade 5 exam in a few weeks), and piano at a grade 2/3 level. my sports are orienteering, ski-racing, tennis, and badminton. member of law, politics, debating, and newspaper societies at school.

would love moots!

When Dostoevsky said, "Pain changes you, but it teaches. That is its mercy." but Kafka said, "Pain changes nothing. It just repeats itself until you forget who you were before it started."

it is v important to me that y'all know that Persephone/Proserpina did not go willingly with Hades/Pluto. yeah i love a good greek mythology retelling as much as the next person. i go crazy for those poems about how Icarus might have enjoyed flying and falling, I love reinterpretations of classic stories, please talk to me about your love for Prometheus and how you think his story is still incredibly relevant today.

but there is no actual greek or roman telling of Persephone/Proserpina's story that involves her going to the underworld through her own choice. In all the original stories she is a young girl kidnapped by a man obsessed with her beauty and tricked into staying with him for part of the year.

insanely late update on how this went but whatever.

☑ tune cello

☑ finish job application for local bookshop

☑ print off emails about work experience

managed to sort out log in so i didn't need to

☑ attend both work experience events today

☑ minimum 40 minutes music practice

literally played three chromatic scales and that was it

☑ try make sure i have to to eat lunch

☑ sort out some files from the stuff i won't need next year

don't even have a good reason i was just being lazy

Also went up to the phone store to see if my phone was nearly fixed which I had been putting off, and I bought myself a boba tea to reward myself, no pics because as above PHONE BROKEN!!

02/06/25

posting this to promise to myself that I will actually get something done today

☑ tune cello

☑ finish job application for local bookshop

☑ print off emails about work experience

☑ attend both work experience events today

☑ minimum 40 minutes music practice

☑ try make sure i have to to eat lunch

☑ sort out some files from the stuff i won't need next year

is anyone on here studying in the scottish system rn? i think i might be in the position where i finish this year with only 3 a's in my highers, because i have really struggled with history and bio, and these grades are lower than what i need. I'm v young for my school year on account of moving from london to scotland, so i was thinking of doing a year of articulation at a local college after S6 to do some resits. does anyone have any experience with this or tips/advice?

oops! it seems i tripped and dropped several million free books, papers, and other resources

https://annas-archive.org

https://sci-hub.se

https://z-lib.is

https://libgen.is

https://libgen.rs

https://www.pdfdrive.com

https://library.memoryoftheworld.org

https://monoskop.org/Monoskop

https://libcom.org

https://libretexts.org

http://classics.mit.edu

https://librivox.org

https://standardebooks.org

https://www.gutenberg.org

https://core.ac.uk

Was your star next to mine ?

12/06/25

started my new courses today, there isn't nearly enough material to keep me occupied for the rest of the summer term, but at least that'll give me more time for other stuff.

on the plus side the RMPS work is really interesting and there are at least four tutorials worth of work in those files. I'll probably finish them quickly and then go onto other projects

i keep thinking about how rfk said that autistic people "will never write a poem." i keep thinking about that, about if humanity is calculated on the back of old verse. how far we measure personhood is in baseball and stanza breaks.

i keep thinking - i have over 7k poems on here alone. language can be a special interest, after all. did you know the word autism comes almost direct from the greek word autos, meaning "self"? self-ism.

maybe he is right - i haven't really played baseball. i was a ballet dancer instead. and besides - my sister once accidentally hit me in the face with an aluminum bat. i'm not sure if the injury gives me half points. am i only a person in the dugout? hand in a mitt? swinging?

does softball count? does cricket? am i a person if i throw the ball to my dog. am i a person as long as the ball is in the air, or do i stop being a person as it rolls into the bushes. i took my girlfriend to fenway recently; was i a person in the sun, with my hands up, with the game laid out at my feet in a diamond. i felt like a person, but that was back in the summer, and i often feel my most person-like then.

am i more of a person because of the sheer number of things i've written? does quality matter, or is it quantity? i used to write entire books every summer in high school - i wasn't doing well. i felt the least like-a-person back then. but then - does any person feel human in high school?

in the library, ink on my skin, i feel personhood shutter at the edges of myself. actually, writing feels blissfully like not being myself. it feels birdlike; escaping into creation so my body dissolves and i survive only by muscle memory. i am not there, i am writing.

but who can deny the falconlike focus of warsan shire, the tenderness of mary oliver, the sheer skill of amanda gorman. those are poets. they are certainly human. you could line them up with the way their words have influenced us and measure their literary shadows like wings.

perhaps it was very assumptive of me to want to be a poet rather than "a [ label ] poet." i wanted the work to fill itself in, rather than be stained by what i am. i do not write in despite of my neurodivergence, i am just neurodivergent and writing.

does the poem have to be in english or can i send it through my palms into the coat of my dog. does the poem have to make sense. does the poem have to love you back.

if i break a glass, will the poem appear naturally? or is the act of breaking the glass human-enough. the shards of my life glittering out beneath me - do i have to write the poem, or is it self-evident in the pile of glass splinters? i cannot grasp this world the way other people can. regardless, i endeavor to touch - even the mess - very gently.

i broke my toenail against my coffee table recently. i released a bug outdoors. i made coffee. i walked my dog.

i didn't write a poem about any of these things.

something else, then. existing without humanity.