The Best News Of Last Week

i’ve barely ever drank almond milk but the term soothes me a lot. i think i like the way the words feel better than i like the actual drink. also i know moon milk does not exist, but it sounds equally good. also blender bottle. glacier. groundswell. ashplant. cylinder. and the phrase swisher sweet is pure poetry. i’m not synesthetic and sort of disappointed at this, but there are many words i’d like to eat or else hold in my mouth like marbles.

saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.

Sylvia Plath

who are you when you are not watching tv or movies? when you aren't playing video games or reading a book or fanfiction or listening to music or whatever other kind of media that you engage with? who are you when your mind isn't in another world or story, when you are forced to sit with yourself and the only experience you have is your own sensorial life? can you define yourself outside of what you consume? who is that person? do you like them? can you bear it? can you bear it?

I'm going to *remembers suicide is often not a desire for death itself but rather an attempt to radically change one's life because the current state of being has become unbearable but the person can't think of any way to change it other than death* kill myself

DO YOU HEAR ME? GET UP.

ending a story in other languages

kurdish: “my story went to other homes, god bless the mothers and fathers of its listeners” (Çîroka min çû diyaran, rehmet li dê û bavê guhdaran.)

greek: “and they lived well, and we lived better” (και ζήσανε αυτοί καλά και εμείς καλύτερα)

afrikaans: “whistle whistle, the story is done” (fluit fluit, die storie is uit)

goemai: “my tale has finished, (it) has returned to go (and) come home.” (tamtis noe lat / dok ba muaan yi wa)

amharic: “return my story and feed me bread” (ተረቴን መልሱ አፌን በዳቦ አብሱ::)

bengali: “my story ends and the spinach is eaten by the goat” (aamaar kothati furolo; Notey gaachhti murolo) *means something is irreversibly ended because goats eats herbs from the root

norwegian: “snip snap snout, the tale is finished” (snipp snapp snute, så er eventyret ute”

polish: “and i was there [at the wedding] too, and drank mead and wine.” (a ja tam byłem, miód i wino piłem.)

georgian: “disaster there, feast here… bran there, flour here…” (ჭირი – იქა, ლხინი – აქა, ქატო – იქა, ფქვილი – აქა)

hungarian: “this is the end, run away with it” (itt a vége, fuss el véle)

turkish: “lastly, three apples fell from the sky; one for our story’s heroes, one for the person who told their tale, and one for those who listened and promise to share. And with that, they all achieved their hearts’ desires. Let us now step up and settle into their thrones.” (Gökten üç elma düşmüş; biri onların, biri anlatanın, diğeri de dinleyenlerin başına. Onlar ermiş muradına, biz çıkalım kerevetine.)

On hope

night walk, franz wright// hope in the dark, rebecca solnit// ? // ? // just give me a reason, pink// shake it off, taylor swift// @ hiddengemm_ on x // @mounaks // to be made whole, ada limon// @garcavisconde // jane massey// orange juice, noah kahan// why why why, shawn mendes// ?// august, taylor swift

i complain and i stress and i collapse under my school work until i take a moment, a step back, and realize that i'm studying everything i ever wanted to. i taking classes on auditioning, on women through the history of music, on 18th century literature while taking masterclasses on shakespeare and musical theatre and watching my friends do recitals, watching free concerts, living backstage at the theatre. i'm just so surrounded by art and other people's love for it that i'm just so- filled by it.

—Frida Kahlo

2023

OPENING YOURSELF UP TO THE POSSIBILITY OF JUDGEMENT IS ALSO OPENING YOURSELF TO THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING LOVED