John: The Results Are In, I’m Afraid You Have Updog… Bucky: What’s Updog? John: Ava! Get In Here,

Bringing back something I wrote seven years ago back on Reddit:

Jon Snow and Baby Switcheroo

I have an appreciation for Jon's ability to manipulate and scheme. From his first scene in AGOT he showed a gift at manoeuvring a situation into his favor, but the baby switch cements this ability the best I think.

First, its important to note that Jon doesn't rush into his lie and swap out of nowhere, he lays the groundwork and plans meticulously.

“Sire, some claim that you mean to grant lands and castles to Rattleshirt and the Magnar of Thenn.”

“Who told you that?”

*The talk was all over Castle Black*. “If you must know, I had the tale from Gilly.” - Jon I ADWD

He says something of which he'd heard rumors of, but he assigns the blame to Gilly so as to alienate Stannis further from her. By doing this, he deliberately leads Stannis into the conversation where he can mention sending Gilly off without drawing any attention or reprimand from the king who practically controls Wildling lives on the Wall.

“The wet nurse,” said Lady Melisandre. “Your Grace gave her freedom of the castle.”

“Not for running tales. She’s wanted for her teats, not for her tongue. I’ll have more milk from her, and fewer messages.”

“Castle Black needs no useless mouths,” Jon agreed. “I am sending Gilly south on the next ship out of Eastwatch.”

Jon is very good at reading people, and he uses that to his advantage by associating Gilly more and more with the things he knows Stannis dislikes and he does it covertly.

The king was confused. “I thought the wet nurse was this man Craster’s daughter?”

“Wife and daughter both, Your Grace. Craster married all his daughters. Gilly’s boy was the fruit of their union.”

“Her own father got this child on her?” Stannis sounded shocked. “We are well rid of her, then. I will not suffer such abominations here. This is not King’s Landing.”

He plays on Stannis' prejudice to achieve his goal.

Finally-

Melisandre : “Gilly is giving suck to Dalla’s son as well as her own. It seems cruel of you to part our little prince from his milk brother, my lord.”

Careful now, careful. “Mother’s milk is all they share. Gilly’s son is larger and more robust. He kicks the prince and pinches him, and shoves him from the breast. Craster was his father, a cruel man and greedy, and blood tells.” - Jon I ADWD

The above is what he says but in the next chapter this is what he thinks:

Gilly’s boy was older, Dalla’s more robust, but they were close enough in age and size so that no one who did not know them well would be able to easily tell one from the other. - JON II ADWD

He will die at sea, he thought, despairing. He is too old to survive such a voyage. Gilly's little son may die as well, he's not as large and strong as Dalla's boy. Does Jon mean to kill us all? - SAM I AFFC

Jon even swaps the physiques of the babies when describing them to Stannis in order to confuse him further and eliminate a chance of them being identified correctly. He further uses that incorrect physique to push the rhetoric of Gilly's babe being an "abomination" covertly to Stannis. Jon hammers out the details of the lie meticulously, not leaving any scope for failure by being vague. He goes all the way.

I think its an aspect of Jon's character people don't notice or credit much because it isn't at the forefront the way it is for Tyrion, but he too is capable of playing the game. I don't understand when people dismiss Jon's abilities in manipulation or write him off. He's often navigated such situations masterfully and shows himself great at reading people and what moves them from the very first book.

“john walker did nothing wrong” incorrect. boring. lacks media literacy.

“i need to see john walker break down and cry about all the shitty things he’s done and also maybe get dicked down” correct. the only rational takeaway from thunderbolts.

idk i feel like dexter could've poor little meow meowed his way out of the electric chair if he'd really put his mind to it

Steve, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Thor: Yeah, sure.

[A few minutes later]

Thor: Here you go.

Steve:

Thor:

Tony: Why am I here?

I'm just making these in hope more people will believe this theory, but we see many times how they reference that "the dragon has three heads".

This comes from the sigil of house Targaryen, and the fact that it was three people that conquered Westeros.

One interesting thing comes from maester aemon in the chapters from Sam's pov, when he is talking of Rhaegar and him trying to understand the prophecy and them looking for a boy, saying how they were wrong about it:

"...What fools we were, who thought ourselves so wise! The error crept in from the translation. Dragons are neither male nor female"

Notice how he says specifically "Dragons", making us asume that in the original text the term was of a dragon.

We know from many sources that it is not weird for Targaryen or any valiryan descendent to denominate themselves dragons, or with the blood of the dragon, and this term is also used by the people in general in westeros.

It would not be difficult to believe that for that, the people that knew about the text would interpret it as if it was a person.

Making this clear, let's get back to the many mentions of "the dragon has three heads".

If the text mentions a dragon, but we know that "the dragon" is conformed by three people, then it would not be crazy to assume that tptwp is not about one person.

There is a lot more to add about this theory and one of the best videos I have seen is on youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrJfitfK2h0

A list of some occasions Jon has shown "soft power" skills:

He persuaded Maester Aemon to let Sam graduate from training to become a black brother

His whole undercover mission, especially when he convinced Mance not to kill him

Negotiating with Iron Bank to borrow money so the Night's Watch could buy food and supplies

Convincing the Free Folk people to leave their weapons and peacefully settle south of the Wall while also aiding the Night's Watch.

Orchestrating Alys Karstark's wedding which on political level not only made House Karstark indebted to him but the Thenns as well.

Persuading Stannis to follow his advices, which isn't an easy thing to accomplish considering how stubborn King Stannis is.

So no, Jon doesn't need a wife or a co ruler or a sibling to aid him with "soft power" because it's not an area he lacks. He is not some kind of brute that solves all his problems with his sword that needs a partner to keep him in check with "her political genius". He can be a political leader himself - and he has already been.

i love that john walker is still a freaky asshole. like he graduated top of his navy seals class and has over 300 confirmed kills and graduated top in his class. he is trained in guerrilla warfare and the top US sniper. he will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this earth.

our new and beautiful, active suicide risk, neglectful father, captain america.

Dexter Morgan^

Harvey Specter is one of the most bi coded male characters I have ever seen, he is right up there with Buck from 9-1-1.

i don’t understand the lack of harvey centric hurt/comfort fics like how do you not take this man with walls around his heart as high and sturdy as the ivy tower he has made a home for himself in so no one could hurt him anymore and also so he could protect the ones he loves — because he loves and he cares so deeply and so violently, he doesn’t know what to do with it and neither do his people because they’re so ready to believe the mask they can’t even see anymore because he’s so high up and untouchable. how do you not take this man with his fragile walls that are so ready to be torn down, this man who is so scared of being alone, this man who yells that people don’t leave him — and this man who, when they do, stands frozen to the spot because his world is so frail it might as well be made of glass. and glass is useful to watch those you love but it breaks so easily — and it’s a good thing you can still watch your people through broken glass but up here the winds are cold and relentless and your people won’t hear you when you ask for help.

how do you not take harvey specter, the cockiest son of a bitch in new york city who has it all because he worked for it, who came from nothing and worked his way up, whom people are so ready and willing to beat and betray because they see his name as a trophy without knowing that he cares so deeply that it’s his heart on the line more than his name. how do you not take harvey fucking specter and make him wonder if any of this is even worth it. how do you not take this man and inflict pain and betrayal upon his fragile little heart — fragile, because he had to fend for himself from such a young age, he doesn’t know how to ask for help anymore.

how do you not inflict pain upon him because he can take it and he will take it and he takes it and he takes it — until he can’t anymore; but even then he will, because he is harvey specter, and the world knows. he can take it. and he has to.