No, I Will Not Do My Stupid Human Tasks, I Will Stare At The Ceiling And Yearn For Something I'll Never

Was reading this cute lil fic where Jim gets turned into a Golden Retriever yesterday lmao 🤭🤭🤭

Update; fic link

SPOCK: Can you give me warp eight?

SCOTT: Aye, sir. And maybe a wee bit more. I'll sit on the warp engines myself and nurse them.

SPOCK: That position, Mister Scott, would not only be unavailing but also undignified.

happy father's day 😌🖖

THE FUCKING TURNAROUND FROM "yeah the medics say I had a psychotic episode :/" TO "in conclusion" IS KILLING ME LIKE BRO??? BRO THAT'S HOW YOU'RE ENDING YOUR ESSAY????? YOU JUST SHOT ME IN BOTH KNEECAPS AND NOW YOU'RE KISSING ME ON THE FOREHEAD AND SAYING NIGHT NIGHT??????

Allison: so... Klaus... What are you planning on doing not the apocalypse is over?

Klaus: SoOo glad you asked meine sister. I have decided to start living my best life 💕 with my in heritance I'm going to revamp my look 👗💇 I'm going to pimp this dusty ole housy up ☝️🏚️ until it ✨SpArKLEs 💖

Allison: how ar-

Klaus: I'm going to be the new me! Sister dear. 🍬 Sweet as suger 🍬I'm going clean going to up my game 🎮. Love ❣️ life 💗 to the fullest 🥰

Allison: FIVE!!! KLAUS IS SPEAKING IN EMOJI AGAIN

Five: *shaking like a rabid cat* iTs the FucKInG ApoCAlypse AGaiN. It's fucking starting. First bastard sign.

I’ll say one thing for the two train wrecks that are Prometheus and Alien Covenant… they did give us the very beautiful and deeply disturbing prototype synthetic, David.

An android so spectacularly hard to please that he eliminated the population of an entire planet simply because they disappointed him. ‘I tell you that it’s sad but true… there’s just no pleasin’ you’ (Boom! Bap! Pow! - No Pleasin’)