Scared That Theyre Gonna Get Me And Theyre Gonna Get Me Soon So I Locked The Door #Scared #Getme #Soon

My conduct this year landed me on Santa Claus's fabled and controversial "Kill-at-all-Costs" List. Turns out the reason the big man and his people don't exercise that option more often is that they really aren't good at following through on it. Well outside their core competency. He's delegated to the elves, and they've got this ingrained assembly-line mindset that doesn't translate at all to the adaptable and fluid mindset needed for siege breaking. They just haven't adjusted their playbook at all from when they're doing rote deliveries. Armed Elves have been rappelling down my chimney one at a time into the roaring fire I've kept going nonstop for the last week. They haven't even thought to try my front door yet. Whole house smells like peppermint, which it turns out is what burnt elf meat smells like. Thought I was being super clever putting cyanide-laced almond milk out with the cookies as a last line of defense, but none of them have made it even the scant few feet to the side table where that's sitting. At the rate things are going the real danger is that I'm gonna forget what I did with that and accidentally drink it myself while I'm watching the show

If I ever needed to choose a successor, it would be Mr. Jeremy Elbertson.

We have "Goncharov" (1973) in the Twilight Zone.

Look at this sheep.

Cute.

That's what your mom said to me last night.

i dont even identify shit anymore

You ever hear that old chestnut about how most people neglect the part of the story of Icarus where he also had to avoid flying too low, lest the spray of the sea soak his feathers and cause him to fall and drown? You ever think about how different the world would be if Icarus died that way instead? If the idiom was to Fly To Close To The Sea? A warning against playing it far too safe, about not stretching your wings and soaring properly? You ever think about how Icarus died because he was happy?

Rod Serling, December 25, 1924 – June 28, 1975.

With Carole Burnett.

re: "please for the love of god tell me you're him"

i am Fucking Dumb.

mod here: You're fine! To me he does have "could be on social media" vibe, similar to Rick Astley.

Imagine if you will