In Case You Needed To Hear It Today:

I love my husband but god sometimes I wish I was single

The most toxic people I know just got back together and it is AMAZING

oh god it so is

this tweet has been on my mind for several days because god they’re so right

Block any account that tells you not to vote.

You don’t need to waste your time investigating whether they are a bot or a psy-op or a misinformed rube. It doesn’t matter. Either way, they add no value to your dashboard. Block and move on.

Then make a plan for Tuesday, November 5, 2024. Register, confirm you’re still registered, check your voting location or register to vote absentee or by mail.

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Take me to church // I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies // I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

Lyrics (c) Hozier

Listened to Ava Max’s Kings & Queens 50000x and this is what came out.

Fuck this is so real. THIS is why I make the art I do. THIS is why it's a struggle for me to even set foot in a church these days, even though I will be doing so for my niece's baptism next week. Because the way I was raised made me believe I wouldn't make it to adulthood. No kid should have to think that way.

one of the cult scholars i listen to said "most children are not being raised to die" months ago and i still think "being raised to die" sums up growing up in fundamentalist christianity so well.

my friends and i didn't know if we would grow up to be adults. we would have conversations about wanting the chance to be an adult and knew we were """selfish""" for wanting to live if it wasn't in god's plan. we were raised to believe that we would either be killed for being a christian (in the us no less) or that jesus was coming soon (rapture/end times theology). we knew it was "sinful" to want something outside of god's plan but we couldn't help ourselves.

we were members of the lord's army. we were to obey orders and lay down our life if necessary. "this life is just a test" they'd say. "our real life is our eternal life with the lord." none of this is real, it's just a test. if you pass, you get into heaven. if you fail, you're sent to eternal damnation and hellfire. this is an open book test, we've been given all the answers already. if you fail, it's your own fault.

being raised to die means that your future doesn't matter. jesus is coming soon. jesus is what matters. "set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. for you died, and your life is hidden with christ in god."

i've been out for years. i'm in my late 20's. i still don't know how to set my mind on earthly things. i still struggle to believe i have a future.

And Remember Kids

you know i don’t think we often talk about how difficult it actually is to suddenly realize that a belief you thought was good and moral and correct was actually really fucking toxic. how you have to look at something and go ‘oh shit, oh i fucked up. oh this is going to take probably years at minimum to deprogram from my brain because of all the little ways this shit pervaded the rest of my beliefs’

so. to all the people picking up all the pieces of a recently shattered world-view and trying to figure out what is safe to keep and what has to be thrown away and started over

to all the people having to relearn how to even listen to other people

to all the people putting in the work to do better while struggling with the guilt that comes from finding out you were the asshole

i’m proud of y’all.

it’s hard to admit being wrong and even harder to change in the aftermath. just keep doing the best you can and just know that the effort is appreciated. everyone can change. everyone can do better. keep fighting.