Good Emotional Skills To Know 4 College But Also In General
good emotional skills to know 4 college but also in general
this is stuff that i’ve found helpful and am in the process of working on. they may not be achievable for you without help and may not work for your specific circumstance, but this is a list of suggestions that you might be able to think about. i am also not a mental health professional so please do feel free to contradict me!!
self soothing. having a toolbox to take care of yourself by yourself. bc sometimes nobody else is available and you just gotta put some lotion on, listen to a tune, and go to bed early.
checking in. checking in with yourself to see if you’re okay. knowing how to alter your strategies when your strategies aren’t working. knowing when your strategies aren’t working. this is just taking some time every day to reflect on what goals you didn’t meet and why and what you can do to fix that.
there’s nothing you “should” be doing. if you get caught up thinking “i should be doing x” that’s false! stop that! “should” be doing better implies that you have some obligation to do whatever it is that you “should” be doing. you don’t owe anybody except yourself. analyze why you think you should be doing that thing and change that into…. “i want to be doing x because…” or “doing x will make me happier, because…”. overall, more productive and less self-shamey.
disconnecting from the crowd. eating in a crowded dining hall can be stressful! knowing how to be alone in a crowd and stay calm is helpful
being okay with being alone. tbh college is kind of… being alone a lot, in my experience. even though you’re surrounded by people, a lot of time is spent alone. making friends is hard. your friends have different schedules. you’re busy. shit sucks. we make the best of it.
knowing yourself. this relates to a lot of what i’ve already said but like. knowing your emotional state and knowing what helps trick the monkey brain is helpful. stop repressing your feelings, friends.
talking to strangers. ordering from a menu! paying library fines. going to office hours. asking for a cashier at the register if there isn’t one. ya this is hard. ya you gotta expose yourself. sometimes i just try playing a persona. like this isn’t me ordering a sandwich. this is a cool me who knows how to talk to people who is ordering a sandwich.
you don’t have to be friends with your roommates. you just have to live together in a way that doesn’t make you two hate each other. ideally, you two will coexist in a way that doesn’t interfere with the other’s daily life.
give and taking. on the topic of roommates, sometimes your roommate can be a shitty person, but sometimes you are the shitty person! give a little but if they’re negatively impacting your life, communicate.
communicating during disagreements. explain what your emotions are instead of blaming them. “i feel hurt when you…” or “i feel frustrated when” or “i feel unappreciated when.” if things get heated, ask if you both can take a ten minute break and then come back. and don’t bring up disagreements when the other party is preoccupied or going somewhere. you can legitimately schedule a discussion.
it’s okay to apologize. learning to swallow your pride gets easier each time.
knowing that people work differently than you. some people are not gonna click with you and it’s gonna seem like they have this whole brain process up there that is totally unlike yours. and yeah! that’s how it is. and that’s chill if they aren’t hurting anyone else. work with them and be flexible!!
comforting people. you will probably/definitely see someone cry! hell if i know how to comfort people. someone please help. but some things i’ve learned are: 1) different people need different things. different people need different things! 2) people need different things at different times. 3) you can ask them what they want and it won’t be weird. 4) apparently a lot of people like hugs? but ask. and it’s okay to not want a hug. 5) just show that you care in some way if you don’t know what they need. i used to think that if somebody needed to tell me what they needed it was a sign that i just didn’t know them well enough and we weren’t compatible or i wasn’t being a good friend. that’s fake! friendship isn’t based off of fitting naturally in every way and making an effort to be good for them is important.
knowing it’s okay to not be liked by everyone. it’s okay if strangers think you’re dumb because you said something dumb in public. you know you’re not dumb. it’s okay if not everybody you meet likes you. it’s okay if you do something cringey. everybody has their own shit to deal with and you will not shatter their world. grow and move on!
forgiving yourself. i’m trying this new thing where when i feel embarrassed about something i say. out loud. “i forgive myself.” and then i just try to grow from that and move on without getting caught in a spiral of shame.
knowing what you need vs what you want and what is better at the time. what you need: a shower. what you want: to not do that. solution: take a shower! or maybe what you actually need is to go to sleep? but guess what. you probably know what is good for you. the hard part is actually doing it.
realize that building habits is less work than discipline. emotional effort is expended every time you have to make yourself do something. just make it part of your routine and you’ll just think it’s normal to do all the good things! like, for example, i’m trying to make it a habit to eat structured meals instead of a “eat when i’m hungry” thing because i know that makes me skip meals, which is bad!
you won’t be able to do everything. forgive yourself for that. write down things that are top priority and focus on them. everything else is not important right now and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for not being able to do them.
your health is important. i’m not saying health will solve all your problems. it won’t! but health will cause a lot of your problems to go away. because let’s face it. not sleeping causes a lot of problems.
it’s okay to ask for help. we say this a lot but it’s hard to internalize it. here’s a thought: there’s so much shame and hesitation about asking for help so by doing that you’re actually being proactive (which is respectable) and mature, and therefore… not weak or stupid. ask for help even before you need it! most people love to help others. and especially take advantage of people who are OFFERING help. for example: counselors at school or TAs. it’s literally their job. they want to do it. and if you don’t want to talk to anybody in real life, my inbox is always open.
More Posts from Queen-strawberry and Others
Tropea (Calabria, Italy)
Photos by @acriativelife on Instagram
Tips for studying with ADD
I have been dealing with ADD since forever. Through all those years in school I’ve learnt a few things that help me study and keep my grades good.
🌼 Have 2 things to focus on
This might sound a bit odd but you have to distract yourself a little bit. Sitting down to a book, in a complete silence won’t help at all. You’ll find something else no matter how empty the room may be. Give yourself two things to focus on instead. The first thing is studying and the second should be something that doesn’t cost you too much thinking. Here are a few ideas for your second focus:
Have something simple in your hand to roll it around (e.g. a stone)
Music with no lyrics
A piece of paper to fold
A pencil or pen to play with
A ball to throw around
A calm pet (the calm part is important, no cat chasing!)
🌼 Try to study alone
Other poeple will not only distract you but you will aslso distract them too.
🌼 Turn off your phone
🌼 Switch between the subjects often
Study one thing for some time, then other thing and then come back to the first thing. Change things up as often as your memory can take it to keep your brain intrigued.
🌼 Change study spaces
🌼 Give yourself time to stare into space blankly
🌼 Ask someone to snap you back
Ask someone to check on you and snap you back to reality in case you lose attention
🌼 Learn in as many forms as you can
Try things out (if it’s safe to do so), hear them, look at pictures.
🌼 Give yourself enough time
Don’t wait until the last minute. Give yourself as much time as you can.
I hope I helped and have a nice day!
difference between a report & a research paper
sources used: my history teacher & “Tips for Writing Analytic Research Papers.” (1998): n. pag. Harvard Kennedy School Shorenstein Center, 19 May 2009. Web. 29 May 2015.
• report
- organized regurgitation of facts gathered from research
- thesis statement is a general statement summarizing what your whole report is about
- thesis statement is NOT opinion or argument to be proven
- topic sentences of body paragraphs summarize what facts you’ll describe in that paragraph
- research + writing facts = report
• research paper
- organized analysis of facts gathered from research
- thesis statement identifies the overall argument or academic opinion that you will prove in your paper
- thesis statement must be (academic) opinion and argumentation
- research + writing facts + analysis = research paper
• so what is analysis? how do i do it?
analysis is basically breaking apart the facts you have found in your research and demonstrating critical thinking about those facts. make your analysis explicit - your reader should not have to infer or guess what your analysis is. it looks like:
• dissecting or breaking down larger events or concepts to explore the smaller parts [“dr. king’s plan comprised of three specific political and social actions” - then the author explains the parts]
• cause/effect [author describes situation that outrages dr. king - “this outrage motivated dr. king to deliver his speech”]
• identification or explanation of significance [“this speech is iconic in american history because…”]
• comparison of ideas from different sources, or differing opinions; examination of counterarguments [“critics of dr. king said…” “historians disagree…” “others have said…”]
• connection to broader ideas and themes in the relevant discipline [“king’s actions exemplify the overall trend in social activism towards nonviolent action to achieve change”]
• connection to experiences, examples in other geographic areas, time periods or disciplines [“this behavior is explained by psychologists as…” “the american civil rights movement was inspired by actions in…” “another leader who inspired people in similar ways was nelson mandela in south africa”]
cottage-y badger friend, illustrated by me. 🌿
the line “you smell like a french whore’s 90 year old vajuju” alone deserved best original screenplay
This is literally the cutests thing ever ☺️
anyone please ask your crush out like this
“All it takes is a beautiful fake smile to hide an injured soul and they will never notice how broken you really are."
- Robin Williams
Edinburgh, Scotland
I’m going to uni this autumn, and I feel like most of studyblr’s incoming freshmen are just as clueless as I am. Here’s a bunch of tips from the more experienced among us, and I hope it’s just as useful to you as it is to me!
this took forever to make so i’m really hoping it’s good
Money Matters
Textbooks
Sites where you can get free textbooks by @thearialligraphyproject
Get textbooks online
Tips for textbooks by @theorganizedcoyote
Websites to get cheap textbooks by @theorganisedstudent
Ultimate guide to buying college textbooks
Safe ways to get free textbooks
Saving Money
A girl called jack: eating under the line
Qriket
Scholarship masterpost by @wallcalendar
Save money while shopping online
College scholarships 2016-17 by @wonderstudying
Tips for finding & getting scholarships
How to budget
Where to find student discounts by @collegerefs
Searching for scholarships by @collegesmarts
Creative ways to save money in college
Places that offer discounts with student id
Ways to save/earn money
Paying for college by @collegerefs
Student Life
Dorm & Living
PSA for college freshmen
Dorm tips from @humanitaes
Ultimate school locker (uni bag) kit by @girl-studying
Resolving issues with roommates
Tips for living like an adult
How to eat healthy in dining halls
DIY dorm decor by @notquitenightingale
Everything I actually used in my freshman dorm room
Guide to living alone by @piratestudy
Living with a roommate by @collegerefs
Packing Lists
Thing I forgot to bring to college by @myberkeleyadventure
Sam’s ultimate failproof guide to packing by @staticsandstationery
Ultimate college packing list for freshmen
College packing list by @kimberlystudies
What to bring to college
Checklist for dorms & campus living
Packing up: preparing for college in @theacademiczine
College dorm packing list by @produitivity
Recipes
One-pot chicken fajita pasta
100 dirt cheap recipes for students
57 go-to recipes for college students
Cheap & healthy recipes
Over 400 fast & healthy recipes
Classes
Studying & Taking Notes
Organizing notes with Google Docs by @academla
How to write a lecture summary efficiently by @collegerefs
Symbols & abbreviations for note-taking
How to take lecture notes by @hstrystdyblr
How to take notes in college by @determinationandcaffeine
Getting the most out of lecture by @strive-for-da-best
How to get your best grades in college by @saralearnswell
If you have a bad college professor
Essays
Transition words for essays by @soniastudyblr
How to analyze historical sources by @rewritign
How to write a university level essay by @healthyeyes
Analyzing a written text
Essay writing: university vs. high school
How to write a history paper by @thehistorygrad
How I plan and write literature papers by @notaperfectstudent
Exams
A quick guide to finals by @emmastudies
10 revision tips for final & first year exams
High school exams vs. college exams
Crucial study tips for finals week in college
3 day study plan by @getstudyblr
Low stress college study strategy by @plannerdy
+ More
Masterposts
A college student’s masterpost by @eruditekid
Random college tips by @determinationandcaffeine
College advice by @studenting
Giant college masterpost by @heyiwantyoutostay
Advice
Advice for college by @collegerefs
10 tips for starting uni by @studycubs
Advice from a college senior
Great tips from @fuckstudy
10 more excellent tips
Things nobody tells you about university by @polcry
Miscellaneous
8 things successful students do by @frankfurter-studies
Email tips by @haileymostudies
@collegerefs‘ entire blog– so much good stuff that’s incredibly useful
my grace.uni tag– all the posts I’ve saved for university
Staying in contact with high school friends
How to make friends in college
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