Jesper: *about Kaz* Is He Still Mad At Us?

One-sided radiostatic has me on chokehold.

Most of the couples in Double Life need marriage counselling. Except Jimmy and Tango and Etho and Joel

Some stranger: You're such a good person Wylan, I bet your dad is proud of you

Wylan: I'm sure he's looking up at me and glaring

Stranger: Up?

Wylan without skipping a beat: Sometimes at night when I'm restless, I imagine him rolling in his grave at my actions and I feel a lot better.

'Finally!' I had thought,'Good riddance to this one and a night out with the pals.' As soon as the sword pierced the skin, I knew that something was wrong.

The sword passed through the Demon like he wasn't even there. Instead, I was knocked over my balance and the sword stuck into the mud alongside me.

I gaped at the gigantic thing with red horns as it raised its club over its head. "Wait!" I pleaded.

I barely barrelled out of the way as the club collided with the mud with a THUD!

"TIME OUT!" I yelled while holding my hands in a T position. This wasn't looking too good for me, I was still on the ground and the Red Demon had swung the club over his shoulder again.

He blinked once, and then twice. "Time.... out?" He asked, not comprehending my words. My head rapidly nodded as I helped myself to my feet.

"Yeah yeah." I told him while dusting my hands,"Are you evil?" I asked the demon. In hindsight, that wasn't a question even meant to be asked to a demon of all things. But there were always gonna be exceptions.

"What now?" The Demon asked,"Me? Evil? You're the one who's evil!" He pointed at me accusingly. "You and your human buddies stole my sheep!"

I groaned and rubbed my face with my palm. "That wasn't me and also: I'm gonna go and burn some 'disturbed' landlord's house down."

You go into battle with a powerful sword enchanted to only cut those who are evil. So imagine your surprise when after striking the most vile demon known to man that not even a scratch was made.

"But professorrrr," I whined as I balanced my chair on two legs with my feet over the desk,"What if we can't come up with anything original?"

My Magical Theory Professor chuckled,"Well then, you're never graduating then." I pouted and landed my chair down on four feet.

"But they say that everything under the sun has been done." I countered with a frown.

Professor Bilko wagged his finger towards the sky and stars surrounded the room,"Then go to another galaxy."

"This is so unfair!" I groaned again,"I just wanna do Magic outside the academy."

"Not without a license you can't." My grouchy seatmate grumbled, raising his head from his arms that used to fall asleep.

"Duh," I rolled my eyes at him,"Which is why I need to graduateee."

Wizards are not naturally immortal, in fact creating their own form of immortality is their graduate thesis.

Kaz: *talking to Wylan* I mean if you look hard enough you can see the source of all our problems right in front of us

Them: *runs into Jan Van Eck*

Wylan: Ah there it is

Rosie and Alastor definitely know the whole business of the Pentagram. Like imagine, before Alastor's disappearance, they would sit down for tea everywhere weekend and discuss tea.

Like Alastor telling how he rejected Vox's offer to join the Vees, and Rosie going 'that's some hot tea'. And Alastor picking up on that phrase.

Inej: *being philosophical* What is the meaning of life?

Kaz: Scam as many people as you can and get rich

Jesper: Spread my fabulousness every where I go

Wylan: Spend it in misery and contemplation

Nina: Waffles.

Matthias: Why do I even hang out with you guys?

Kaz: 3rd clue ‘Where the devil lies, you’ll find your prize’

Wylan: Well, I know where the devil lies

*At Van Eck’s grave*

Jesper: Wow, did Kaz put up a balloon arch just for the heist?

Wylan: No, that was me. I install a new one every week

Wylan: Why would you guys think this was a good idea

Kaz: Probably because we're dangerous psychopaths with a long history of violence

Matthias: I don't get how you keep forgetting that