If House Md Were Running In 2024 There Would Be An Episode With A Patient Who Identifies As An ‘online

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

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nest year's rookie line up is looking like: ferrari's newest sacrificial lamb, the second coming of max verstappen, a kiwi, and an australian.

who shall win rookie of the year is the real question now


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i hope that kmag does some really funny crimes before he goes. and we can all laugh together and hold hands and shake our heads with a rueful chuckle and say "boy that's kmag"


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happy valentino rossi’s day to those who celebrate! 💛

Cuddy and Thirteen look like goddesses in every scene then House shows up looking like he's 5 days post mortem


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the point of rpf isn’t to concoct scenarios that are thinly veiled attempts to fuck the celebrities you like yourself. the point of rpf is to learn as much lore as is possible about the celebrities you like by whatever means necessary and use that information to craft scenarios that are wildly implausible but Technically could have happened. and then to chuckle about it. by the way

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