I Want To Talk About My Ocs But Im Literally This Image. I Got Nothing

i want to talk about my ocs but im literally this image. i got nothing

Unintentional (Part 2)

Part 1

Pairing: Loki x Shy!Autistic!Fem!Reader

Summary: Loki tries to explain himself to you. Things don't go as either of you planned.

Warnings/tags: Soft Loki (probably OOC), angst, upset reader, minor character death (mentioned), mentions of mind control, mentions of delusions, mentions of alcohol, Frigga is a sweetheart, mentions of hospitals, implications of sensory overload, mentions of meltdowns, mentions of autism

A/N: I'm so sorry, this one isn't my best writing…

*************************************************

"L/N? L/N, can you hear me?"

Groaning softly, you open your eyes to see Romanoff sitting by your bed.

She breathes a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness."

Thank goodness? What's she on about?

Then a wave of dread hits you.

Loki.

You were supposed to protect him if he got captured again.

And judging by the fact that Romanoff's sitting by your bed, that means he has been captured.

"Where is he?" you demand.

Romanoff looks confused. "Where's who?"

"Loki. Where is he?"

"Oh… Loki." Romanoff shrugs. "He's in a holding cell for the time being. Don't worry, we'll make him pay for what he did to you."

Make him pay? But he didn't hurt me! "I need to see him."

"L/N…"

There's a commotion outside the room, and Romanoff goes to investigate.

"What's going on?" she demands.

"Stark wants to see L/N," sighs someone. It sounds like Agent Hill.

Romanoff shrugs. "That's all?"

"The doctor said that she wasn't supposed to be excited or stressed out."

"Look, just send him in. The sooner we get this over with, the better."

"How about we send Cap in instead?" suggests another voice.

Dr Banner? What's he doing here?

"Hey, why does Cap get the special treatment around here?" someone else (presumably Stark) complains.

"Because he knows how to deal with people, and you don't," snaps Romanoff. "She's awake, Cap; you can go in."

"Thanks." A blond guy pokes his head around the door. "Am I okay to come in?"

You nod, and immediately regret it as a wave of pain washes over you.

The blond guy - presumably the aforementioned 'Cap' - sits in Romanoff's chair. "Look, I know this isn't going to be easy," he begins, his voice gentle. "But we need to know everything that happened to you after you were - captured."

"Captured?" Since when was I captured?

Cap leans forward. "L/N, I don't know what Loki said to you, or how he manipulated you into going with him, and I know it's going to be hard to hear, but - you were captured."

You take a deep breath. "Look, just - just tell me what happened - how you found Loki, what you did with him."

He sighs. "We don't know how Loki got hold of you, but we found him at Stark Tower, with you. You were in a pretty bad way. Do you have any idea how that happened?"

"The Destroyer gun."

"What?"

"It was a prototype weapon that Coulson fired at Loki. He took the brunt of the blast, cannoned into me, and we both went straight through a wall. That's why I was hurt."

Cap looks carefully at you. "No other reason?"

You shake your head. "Not that I can remember."

"What did you do afterwards?"

You pause. "I - my memory's not very clear. I…"

Cap waits as you pretend to try and recall what happened. You know full well what happened (how could you forget?), but you have no intention of telling the truth yet, at least until you've seen Loki, and agreed either to a plausible story, or to tell the truth.

"I'm sorry, I really don't remember," you say. "I suppose I was on autopilot. I probably just ran away, and then fainted or something. I did hit my head, so my memory's not very clear."

"That's okay," says Cap kindly. "So, just to recall, Agent Coulson fired this destroyer weapon at Loki, and you got caught in the crossfire. Is that what happened?"

"Yeah, but I was behind him - Loki, I mean. So it wasn't really the crossfire, as such. But you could call it that."

Cap nods. "That'll be all for now. Thank you for your time, L/N."

You're not really sure how to respond, so you just smile, and nod, trying hard not to wince as another wave of pain hits you.

You feel a bit guilty lying to him, because he does seem like he genuinely wants to help, but you really don't want to tell the truth until you've had the go-ahead from Loki, because whatever you say will impact him, whether positively or negatively - but most likely the latter.

You can hear hushed voices in the corridor, and even though it gives you a headache, you strain to try and hear what they're saying.

"…seemed quite lucid…"

"…fairly trustworthy…"

"…most valuable source…"

The voices fade away as you fall back asleep.

***************************************************

You're woken up by yet another commotion outside your room.

This one's louder, and sounds a lot more violent, so you strain to hear what's going on.

"…can't let him see her…"

"What if he…"

"…wants to see him…"

"…could kill us all…"

There's a knock at your door, and Romanoff pokes her head in.

"Hey, L/N, sorry to disturb you, but - Loki wants to see you. He - um, he threatened to break out of his cell and come see you by himself if we didn't let him…"

You try hard to suppress a smile. "That's fine. Him wanting to see me, I mean."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Romanoff doesn't look too impressed, but nods. "Okay. He'll be here in a minute."

You can hardly contain your relief at the fact that Loki's finally coming to see you. Or the delight that he wants to see you. It's been a few days since you first woke up, and you've asked about seeing Loki a couple of times, but the Avengers usually deflect, or (in the case of Stark) firmly say no.

The door opens, and Loki steps in, handcuffed, with Thor just behind him, presumably in case he should try anything.

Oh, darling… Loki's face is impassive, but you can see that his eyes are glassy. I was so worried.

You sigh. I'm sorry I didn't hold up my end of the bargain.

Loki shrugs. It matters not. I just want to make sure you're alright. Are you?

You bite your lip. I'm tired, achy, and I feel like I never want to move again.

Loki moves to sit down by your bed. How have they been treating you?

Surprisingly well. They all seem to think that you captured me, and tortured me, or something, and I've been too nervous to tell the truth, in case they think my brain's turned to mush or something.

They probably would. Loki sighs. I'm sorry I wasn't able to protect you.

You smile shyly. You did your best. And you know, it's kind of ironic that the organisation that was supposed to protect me turned out being the one that injured me.

Loki's eyes darken. That fool Coulson. I wish I could make him pay for what he did, but he's already dead.

Dead?

He died of that stab wound I gave him.

So you kind of got preliminary revenge.

I was acting in self-defence, but I suppose you could look at it that way.

Your heart gives a guilty leap when you remember that Thor's right there. Can he hear us?

Loki shakes his head. Not under these circumstances, although he can sometimes read thoughts.

You breathe a sigh of relief. Good.

Loki turns to Thor, who's been staring at you like you're both crazy. "Do I really need these handcuffs?"

Thor glares at him. "Yes. And they're not coming off."

You glance at Loki. Are those Asgardian handcuffs?

Loki shakes his head. I think they're just hoping that Thor can overpower me, should I try to escape.

Kind of stupid, if you ask me. Then you get an idea. What if I try to convince Thor to take the handcuffs off you?

Loki shrugs. You can try.

Okay. You take a deep breath. Look, Thor-

Out loud, sweet.

You blush, take another deep breath, and begin again. "Thor - does Loki really need to be handcuffed? Couldn't he just break out of them anyway?"

Thor stares at you like you've gone crazy. "Lady L/N…"

Now that you're over the first hurdle, your confidence begins to grow. "Look, I don't know what he's told you, or if you've even interrogated him, but he didn't hurt me. You must believe me."

"Lady L/N, you were very badly hurt - you were unconscious - when we found you. You said yourself that your memory was hazy-"

"Well, I lied."

Thor stares at you in utter shock and disbelief.

Your heart's jumping about wildly, but you keep going. "I didn't want to say anything that would negatively impact Loki."

Now it's Loki's turn to stare at you. You did - you what? How - why…?

Taking a third deep breath, you continue. "Anything I said - the Avengers could have twisted it to make an excuse to torture him - to - oh, I don't know - double his sentence, give him a worse punishment…"

"Well-" Thor looks like he's desperately trying to collect his thoughts. "What actually happened?"

You glance nervously at Loki. Should I?

Loki nods, his face impassive. Go on.

So you tell Thor exactly what happened.

His face turns from shock, to disbelief, to something you can't quite place.

Finally, he turns to his brother. "Is this true?" he demands.

Loki nods.

Thor turns back to you. "Lady L/N - why would you keep this from us? We were trying to help you."

"But you weren't trying to help Loki. And - well…" You look helplessly at Loki.

Loki mumbles something.

"Speak up!" snaps Thor.

"She's my soulmate."

"Who?"

"Y/N. She's my soulmate. She could read my thoughts. That's why I was protecting her."

The air in the room suddenly shifts. Soulmate? What's he on about? That's why I could get into your head? Then why-

Thor grabs Loki's arm roughly enough to make him wince. "We're going. Now."

***************************************************

You suddenly fling your book aside, sighing in frustration.

It's been several weeks since Loki last visited you, and the Avengers have been acting really weird. You thought they'd be angry, but they've been weirdly nice. They seem to be under the impression that you were mind-controlled by Loki, which you know is ridiculous, since neither of you had even been near the Sceptre when you first decided to help him.

You haven't really recovered from your injuries yet, but you're well enough to get out of bed, which is a relief, because now you can hide from the Avengers if they take to whispering outside your door again.

"Hello."

You jump in fright when you hear Loki's voice.

"Oh - I'm terribly sorry, darling. I didn't mean to frighten you."

It's fine.

Loki smiles. "It's alright. I already soundproofed the room. We can talk freely here."

"Okay."

Loki goes to stand with his back to the fireplace. "I expect this is all very confusing for you, all this soulmate business. I'm sorry I had to tell you under those circumstances, sweet. If things had been different…"

You nod. "It's fine."

Loki sighs. "It still doesn't excuse my giving you such a nasty shock. You ended up relapsing, I heard?"

You shake your head. "They're exaggerating. My social battery died."

Loki frowns. "Your - social battery?"

"I was tired from socialising. It takes up a lot of my energy. And I was already tired from all those injuries."

Even though he tries to hide it, you can see him visibly relax. "Well - do you have any questions for me?"

Which one to ask first? "Why can you read my thoughts, but I can't read yours?"

"I can shield my thoughts - something I actually need to teach you."

You suddenly feel a hot wave of anger hit you. Wait… is he lying to me?

"Look," you begin, rather irritably. "Why are you being so nice to me? I know there's the soulmate thing, but you - you just don't seem like the sort of guy who's just going around calling pretty girls pet names, and being super patient with them. And I'm not even that pretty. What's going on?"

Loki opens his mouth to explain, but the look on your face shuts him up before he can speak, so he just watches you with a strangely sad look on his face.

Not that it matters to you. "You realise that I nearly helped you destroy New York, that I've managed to alienate the Avengers - who were genuinely trying to help me, and that I'm now on SHIELD's blacklist? All because I was trying to protect you!"

The pain in your muscles when you stand up nearly makes you fall, but you grit your teeth against the pain, ignoring Loki's outstretched hand. "I'm done. I'm sick of trying to protect someone against people who won't listen to me, because they think I'm delusional! If you want to explain yourself to me properly - then - well - just-"

Having run out of words, you simply storm out of the room, leaving a speechless Loki behind.

***************************************************

"I don't get it," you later complain to Dr Banner. "A few weeks earlier, I was trying to protect him, and now I'm storming off because I think he's lying to me?"

Banner shrugs. "You've got the wrong person. Talk to Thor."

"I know Asgardian relationships aren't your specialty-" you begin.

"Actually, I'm clueless."

"-but you're the only Avenger here who I haven't actually lied to."

"So you want me to talk to Thor."

You nod. "More or less."

"You do realise he's not mad at you?"

You shrug. "Well, maybe he isn't mad at me, but he's kind of - terrifying, to be honest."

"Who's terrifying?" asks Stark. "Oh, hey, Y/N. How's it going?"

You're more than a little weirded out by his sudden friendliness. Is it because I yelled at Loki? "Oh, uh, yeah - hi…"

"Stark, do you know where Thor is?" asks Banner.

Stark shrugs. "No idea. Probably the training room." As you turn to leave, he calls after you. "Oh, Y/N?"

You turn back. "Yeah?"

"It's Nat's birthday, so we're having a party. Do you want to come?"

In what world-? "Uh - yeah, sure."

***************************************************

Your mind is racing as you go to find the training room.

What was I thinking? I can't go to a party! I don't have anything to wear! I don't even know where it is!

Fortunately, the training room's now up ahead, and you hastily stop catastrophising in favour of trying to thing what questions you're going to ask Thor.

He's just finishing up his workout as you walk in, so you stay right near the wall, just in case.

He grins when he sees you. "Oh - Lady Y/N! What brings you here?"

"I - um - I have some questions for you." Why do I sound so businesslike?

"Is this about the soulmate situation?" asks Thor.

You nod. "I just - why do you guys make such a big deal out of it? On Earth, it's usually kind of a myth. Nobody really takes the idea too seriously - well, I certainly didn't. Not until now."

Thor shrugs. "I'm afraid I don't have much experience in this. I have sent for my mother - who I think will have more knowledge of this than I, so when she arrives, you could talk to her."

You manage a small smile. "Okay. Thanks, Thor."

***************************************************

This was a mistake.

You'd forgotten that Stark's parties are notoriously loud and boisterous. And that they're massive.

All of which is a very, very bad combination for you.

Fortunately, no-one's really noticed you, but the smell of alcohol is giving you a headache, the loud music is hurting your ears, and the crowd's beginning to feel suffocating - whether from actual lack of oxygen or sensory overload, you have no idea.

I have to get out before I have a meltdown.

You make your way to the exit, hoping that nobody notices you.

"Lady Y/N!"

Biting back curses, you turn around to see Thor waving at you.

"My mother has arrived! Shall I take you to her?"

You nod. Wonderful. Another social interaction.

But at least you can leave the party.

Thor's mother's face lights up when she sees you. "So, you are the Y/N that my sons have told us so much about," she says, with a smile. "It's lovely to meet you, dear. My name's Frigga."

"Uh - yeah… Nice to meet you too."

Once you're both settled, Frigga comes straight to the point. "I understand you have some questions on the soulmate situation."

You nod. "Why is it such a big deal with you guys?"

Frigga smiles. "Well, on Asgard, it's expected that you marry once you reach a certain age - what Midgardians would call your twenties, I believe. We have not the option of divorce, which means we must either find our soulmate, or make an eligible match with someone similar. Meeting your soulmate before then is very rare, and being soulmates with each other - that is even rarer."

"But how do you know if you're soulmates?"

"There are several stages. The first is being able to read each other's thoughts. Loki can read yours, I understand."

"But I can't read his. At least - he claims it's because he can shield his mind, but-"

Frigga sighs. "It is difficult to know whether my son tells the truth or not. He's always been one for mischief, and he is an excellent liar, but-" She sighs. "I have talked to him about this, and something about his manner leads me to believe that he is being truthful, but - he has deceived me before."

"What's the second stage?"

"The need to protect the other."

"Well, I certainly experienced that," you say. "And I think Loki might have?"

Frigga nods. "He did. And he still does, I believe."

"And the third stage?"

"The third stage depends on your soulmate's honesty. If your soulmate is generally dishonest, then you won't believe anything they say, even if they are telling the truth."

"Hang on." You hold up a hand. "Does that mean that my getting mad at Loki was because we're - soulmates?"

"Strange as it may seem, yes. But it won't last long. And the fourth stage is sharing your feelings with your soulmate."

"Like hyper-empathy?" you ask.

Frigga nods. "Yes, except that you feel your feelings as well as theirs."

Oh, no. You feel shivers run down your spine. "Is - is there any way to stop that from happening?"

"How do you mean?" asks Frigga.

You sigh. How to explain autism to an Asgardian? "I - I was just curious."

Frigga shakes her head. "No, you weren't. I know there's a reason."

You stare at the floor, fiddling with your hands. "Well, I - I already have hyper-empathy - it's not a special ability or anything, it's just the way my brain works - and…"

"You're worried your feelings might overwhelm you?" asks Frigga.

You nod.

Frigga smiles. "Don't worry, Y/N. The 'feeling each other's feelings' that I told you about - it's little more than just a twinge, an inkling of what the other is feeling. It's rarely overwhelming."

"And I think it's happening right now," you add.

Frigga leans forward. "What do you feel?"

"I just felt a twinge of disdain. Which I'm guessing is Loki, because he doesn't get along with Stark, and absolutely hates his parties. I guess Thor must have dragged him along."

She chuckles. "That does sound like Loki. He's never liked parties, or large gatherings of any kind. Perhaps we should go and rescue him."

***************************************************

As you both enter the party, you immediately spot Thor engaged in a drinking game with Captain America.

"I ought to have brought him some Asgardian mead to make it fair," laughs Frigga.

"Captain America's got some sort of super serum in him," you explain. "I think he might last longer than average, though I think Thor's going to win."

As you scan the room, you suddenly notice Loki in the back, looking very grumpy and out of it, but his face softens slightly when he sees you and Frigga.

"Hello, Mother," he says. "Hello, Y/N."

You manage a small smile. "Hi. Um, look-"

Loki shakes his head. "Outside." He offers you his arm. "May I?"

You're surprised, but take it, while Frigga takes his other arm.

As you walk out, Loki and Frigga talk about what you're guessing is Asgardian things. It's too loud for you to really catch anything specific.

It's nice walking with Loki, even if he isn't talking to you. He's surprisingly courteous, making sure to walk you and Frigga around the clean areas on the floor.

"Mother! Loki!" bellows Thor suddenly, making you jump. "Join me!"

Frigga, laughing, lets go of Loki's arm. "I will see you later, Loki and Y/N."

Loki smiles at his mother, before frowning at Thor, and then continuing towards the exit with you.

Once you're outside, Loki turns to you. "I'm terribly sorry about my oaf brother. Are you alright?"

You nod shyly. "I'm okay."

Loki nods. "That's good."

"Your mother's so nice," you tell him. "I really like her."

Loki smiles. "I'm glad you like her."

"Oh, yeah - um, Loki, I'm really sorry about storming out on you a few days ago. I know there's the soulmate thing, but - it was wrong of me, and I'm sorry."

"It's alright," says Loki gently. "It wasn't your fault. Listen, I've been thinking. We got off to a bad start, and I'm sorry about that. I know it's too late to turn things back, but-"

He sighs. "I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I love you, and I do want a relationship with you. But I want a real one, not one based off - obligation."

Your heart jumps. "Are you asking me out?"

Loki nods. "If that's what Midgardians call courting, then yes."

You take a deep breath. "Okay. Yeah. I'd - I'd like that."

Then you feel a sudden warmth in your chest, a warmth that matches the smile on Loki's face.

*************************************************

Part 3 coming soon

As always, I do not give permission for anyone to copy my work, repost it, etc.

Oh, Honey || Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Summary: Request - Maybe a Jake x reader where the dagger squad and jake accidentally make her feel insecure? Like Jake and reader have been dating for a couple months so Jake wants to introduce her to them. So Jake throws a little bonfire bbq at his place and the daggers come to meet her... Read Rest Here

A/N: Changed up the ending a smidge. Hope you still love it!! :) My fav trope - angst to fluff, miscommunications galore!

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Word Count: 2,000k +

Brushing down your dress for probably the fifteenth time you let out a slow sigh while looking over yourself in the mirror. You were nervous, terribly nervous. You’d been dating Jake for four months now. You’d learned all about his friends at work. The people he spent more time with than anybody. The people he’d grown to love and adore after going on life threatening missions. See, they kept the group together as a tactical unit after their surprising success bombing the uranium facility. Even more so of a reason to bond. They were the best of friends now. And you were the girlfriend.

Being so nervous you hadn’t heard Jake walk in and watch you with cautious eyes. He too knew you were nervous. You were gentle. So damn gentle. That’s why he went for you. He was so tired of going after the same type of girl and getting the same results, nothing. He’d tried for years and years without much success. The over bubbly bottle blonde wasn’t what was going to suit his fancy. No. It was you.

He'd run into you in the last of places he really expected at the library. His sister and nephews were in town, and they wanted to go. So, he obliged. And thank goodness he did. He always counted his lucky stars with how fortunate he felt that he’d met you.

“You look beautiful.” He spoke in a softer than usual voice trying not to startle you into oblivion.

You still jumped. A small smile brushed across your lips as you spotted him in the doorway of his bedroom, “You scared me.” You let out a soft laugh not really responding to him.

He walked over to you and brought you in for a warm embrace, “Sorry darlin’.” A light but breathy chuckle came from above you. Closing your eyes, you breathed him in slowly trying to slow you rapidly beating heart, “They’re going to adore you.” He whispered before placing a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

You nodded gently into his chest, “I sure hope so.” Your wanted to curse as you heard your voice waver unfavorably. Surely, that was going to give you away.

He gave you a gentle squeeze, “You have nothing to be worried about darlin’. If you can handle me you can handle them.”

You giggled at his efforts to calm you down, “You’re quite the handful Jake.”

He hummed, “Maybe so.” He had to agree. But before he could really counter he heard the knocks at his front door, “They’re here.” He clicked his tongue gauging your reaction. Had he calmed you down? Were you going to be okay? Was it too soon? He wanted to collapse in on himself. He’d surely has never been so unsure of himself. He knew how much he liked you. Even loved you. He knew he wanted it to be you. He was so sure of that. But he was so unsure of how to make that happen. Love was always so fleeting for him. He wanted to make sure you would stay. You would always want to be around him. He never knew how to act. But he must’ve been doing something right as you stuck right by his side for the better part of the last four months.

“You don’t say.” You grinned up at him as he pulled away.

He rolled his eyes before giving your side a playful pinch, “Smart ass.”

“Come on. Let’s go get your friends.” You nodded towards the door letting him lead the way. You were trying to put on a brave face, but damn were you terribly nervous.

You heard Natasha’s voice from the side of the house, “I’m really surprised you went for her.” Your breath caught in your throat as you failed to listen to the rest of the comment. ‘She’s so sweet and kind!’ But you didn’t hear that as you back up against the door. Well damn. At least you had thought it was going well.

You heard the group laugh and agree in confirmation. Shit. You really had misread the backyard throughout the night. You thought you and Bob were agreeing on so much. You really thought Natasha wanted to go shopping with you after you told her all the good local spots that didn’t include the gross megamall that swam with people you tried to avoid. You and Javier bonded over your love of the San Diego Padres. But maybe you were wrong. Maybe you’d really misread the situation that badly.

“Agreed! She’s not ridiculously tall and blonde and super talkative.” You could’ve sworn that was Bob’s voice speaking up. It seemed out of character for him. But he clearly didn’t like you. You backed yourself right back into the house. You didn’t hear the ‘She’s an actual human being that can have a real conversation. She’s great Jake,’ from him.

Instead, you frantically grabbed your phone from your back pocket. Thinking too fast you shot Jake a text,

Hey, not feeling super great. Crazy nauseous. Think I’m going to head home.

What you weren’t expecting was his insanely fast response. You thought he’d be engrossed in some conversation or agreement about you. Were you really that bad? Was he agreeing with them? It certainly didn’t sound like he was disagreeing with them.

Hold on darlin. Don’t go. I’ll be right in.

Your eyes went wide as you realized you really didn’t have time to slip out the front door like you’d planned. He’d be walking in the side door any second now. Damn you really hadn’t thought this through. You couldn’t lie to the man. No, you were an awful liar. Terrible actually.

You walked away from the door but just a moment later it clicked open. Jake’s big green eyes softening once he spotted you on the other side of the living room looking more frantic than ill. His eyes scanned your figure for any other signs of what was actually going on. He didn’t waste a second once he’d finished his once over. He walked right on up to you.

“What’s the matter love? My cooking isn’t sending you home is it?” He scanned you again with nothing but concern in his eyes. You didn’t really seem sick. You were just skiddish. He was used to this. Earlier on in the relationship he had to dance around you. Let you get used to his presence. He was so careful with you. And you bloomed right under him into something of your own. You got comfortable with him. Opened up like a book to him. Trusted him more than anything in the world.

“I’ve been feeling a little gross all day.” It wasn’t really a lie. You have felt gross all day. You’d been remarkably nervous over the entire thing.

He cocked his head to the side in slight confusion. He read you like a book though, “Honey, they love you!” He gave your arms a squeeze in reassurance. He seemed so adamant. He didn’t seem like he was lying to you. He seemed so confused. Had you missed something?

“It didn’t sound like it.” It slipped so quickly from your mouth you weren’t sure if you said it out loud or in your head. It was a tossup really.

His face dropped immediately, “What’re talking about darlin’?” His face was laced with nothing but confusion. You’d definitely missed something.

You pursed your lips. Oh well, secrets already out, “She said she was surprised you went for somebody like me.” Your eyes dropped in shame. You felt a little guilty for listening In on their conversation meant for their own ears only.

He pulled your eyes up to look at his, “Then what?” He asked.

You shook your head in confusion, “They all agreed.” You sighed. Why was he making you repeat what you heard.

He shook his head slowly, still holding your chin in his hands, “No love. She said you were sweet. That you were kind. She really likes you. Said she can’t wait for you to take her shopping.”

Well shit. How had you missed that? Your stitched your eyebrows together as you looked for any sign that he could’ve been fooling you. You couldn’t find a sign, “But then Bob said I wasn’t a blonde or talkative.” You repeated trying to justify your actions.

“Oh honey.” He laughed at the situation, not at you. He’d never dream about laughing at you, “You don’t know him well enough to know he was being sarcastic. He said that you were so fun to talk to, could hold an actual conversation.” He ran a hand down your arm trying to give you the reassurance you so clearly needed.

Shaking your head, you felt the nerves bubble back up. You definitely missed that, “I must’ve walked back inside.”

He wrapped you in another tight embrace. This one felt more necessary than the rest. He could feel how anxious you were. How saddened you looked at the thought of his friends not liking you. It warmed his heard at how much you wanted to be accepted by them. You knew how much they meant to him.

“Wish you would’ve stuck around.” He mumbled into your hair while rocking you back and forth ever so gently, “Even had Rooster singing your praises.”

You smiled as you finally started to believe him fully. He wouldn’t have lied to you like that, “Really?” You asked softly. You cheek was resting on his chest as he held you in his comfortable embrace.

“Yeah,” He chucked before pulling you closer into him, “I think they may ever like you more than me. I know Bradley does.”

Your heart swelled with all the love you felt for the man. He always knew what to say. He had a way with words that always left you feeling all the love, “Like that’s hard to do.”

He let out a full belly laugh now, “There she is. There’s my smart ass of a girl.”

“You like it.” You countered, pulling away from his strong hold on you.

He nodded, “I love it.”

You couldn’t help but to smile at that comment, “Noted.”

He hummed before dropping his arms from his hold on you, finally letting you squirm away, “Know what else I love?” He asked. He had a mischievous smirk dancing across his face.

Not having a clue what was coming next you innocently answered his question, “What’s that Jake?”

“You.”

A small gasp escaped your throat. Eyes widening and pupils surly dilated, you gave him nothing but a shocked stare, “What?” Finally squeaked out of your mouth after a few long moments.

“I love you.”

You gaped at him. Now of all times? Now?

“Jake! You dropped that bomb right now?” Your head was dizzy with thoughts. How could you face them again after he just did this to you.

He shrugged, “I think I’ve known for a while. They just helped me realize it.” One of the things you loved about him was the complete lack of pressure to respond to it. He didn’t expect it. He knew you took things slow. He was hardly offended. But he knew he loved you and he needed you to know it.

That was when it all clicked for you too. You loved him too. You loved him beyond your wildest measures. You don’t think you’d be able to live a life without him anymore. He’d changed you completely. Changed you whole.

Your eyes found his again. Yours scanned his pretty tanned face. He was smiling. Patient face on as he waited for your response. Your legs felt like jelly when your eyes finally locked with his, “I love you too.”

The smile that lit his face could make you happy for the rest of your life. God, you couldn’t wait to keep making him smile like that. You knew you were in trouble when he picked you right up in his arms kissing any part of you that he could get his mouth on and whispering sweet ‘I love you’s’ in between. The group be dammed.

Jake Seresin/Top Gun: Permanent Taglist (Message me or comment below if you want to be added!): @loving-and-dreaming @kmc1989 @memeorydotcom @matisse556 @buckylov3r @taygrls @ah-blossom @hardballoonlove @rosiahills22 @djs8891 @mamachasesmayhem

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passionatefanficgirl

8 months ago

How I learned to write smarter, not harder

(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)

A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.

The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.

As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!

Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!

2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)

Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.

Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.

I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.

Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!

This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.

As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.

When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD

People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.

What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!

What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.

You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.

And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.

And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.

If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?

And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD

In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.

Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.

Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)

And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)

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passionatefanficgirl

3 months ago

Unforeseen Events (Part 3)

Summary: You move into Stark Tower, and start working with Dr Banner more often, something you would enjoy if you didn't suddenly feel so weird around him.

Warnings/tags: Mentions of blood, mentions of injuries, mentions of stitches, mentions of anaesthetic, inaccurate medical drama, Bruce is a sweetheart, Tony is a bit mean in this one, mentions of chest compressions, Thor is clueless about Midgardian stuff

***************************************************

This is a dream.

That was what you thought the first time you looked around your living quarters. Even now, you sometimes still wonder if you're dreaming. This is absolutely crazy, you think. A whole floor on Stark Tower, as well as the hangout floor you share with the Avengers?

The other Avengers have more or less accepted you as one of the team, even though you're not actually an Avenger. They include you in pretty much everything they do, except for missions - although you know about the missions anyway, because Bruce has to be there for the meetings, and he lets you tag along.

On top of moving you to Stark Tower, paying all your bills, and so on, Tony (he insists that you call him that) also insisted on you resting until your injuries were all better.

"No working, at all," he said. "I can't have my best lab assistant not at their best."

You were about to protest, but thought better of it. After all, Bruce was resting too, so it's not like he'd have been stuck with another lab assistant.

It wasn't that you had anything against the other lab assistants, it was just because you didn't want to make Bruce have to get used to a stranger before he had to then get used to you again.

Or so you tell yourself.

It's definitely nothing to do with the fact that your heart jumps whenever he catches your eye. Or the fact that you feel a jolt every time he brushes against you. And it's definitely got nothing to do with Tony's smirking at you every time he sees you together.

Fortunately, Tony hasn't actually said anything to you after the lovebird incident, but you're pretty sure he's up to something. What, you have no idea, but you're pretty sure it's going to happen soon.

Unfortunately, you're starting to suspect that he might be right - at least about you liking Dr Banner. You didn't really want to admit it at first, and put it down to all manner of things: Tony making things awkward with that unfortunate 'lovebird' comment, Hulk making things awkward by beating you up, both of you being shy people…

But it's been several months since you first moved into Stark Tower, and if anything, you've grown even more awkward around Bruce than before. It's not an unpleasant awkward, exactly. You really do enjoy being around him.

Surely it's too early to admit you're in love with him, though? Yes, you like him, but could some of it just be because you're very socially awkward? That doesn't make you in love with him, right?

There's a knock on the door.

"Y/N?" It's Tony. "We need you in the lab!"

You jump up like you've been electrocuted. "Oh, my gosh! I'm so sorry, I completely forgot! I'll be right down!"

***************************************************

You rush into the lab only a few minutes later.

Bruce looks up from his work, smiling when he sees you. "Hey, Y/N."

You manage a small smile. "Hi. Sorry I'm late."

"It's alright. I know it's kind of a weird time to be working."

You step over to take a look at what he's working on. "I kind of feel like I should be used to it by now."

"Are you criticising my routine?"

"I don't think waking up super early, grabbing a coffee, and then working non-stop in the lab until you fall asleep is exactly a routine."

He shrugs. "Technically, it is a routine."

"Technically."

Bruce just chuckles.

You both fall silent as you get to work. Tony's usually the one keeping the conversation going, but he's gone off to do - something, you're not quite sure what.

You've got a nasty feeling that he's trying to get you and Bruce together. Not that you're complaining. You just don't like the way he's trying to orchestrate it.

But you have no idea if Bruce even likes you. You've never been the best at reading social cues, and - well, you get the impression that Bruce isn't really the type to make his feelings obvious.

Crash!

You groan. The beaker that was sitting innocently on the bench just a moment ago is now smashed on the floor, helped along by your elbow.

Of all the-

"Y/N? You okay?"

You nod. "I'm fine. Just clumsy."

Bending down, you start picking up the pieces.

"It's okay, I can clean it up-"

You let out a yelp.

Bruce rushes around, full of concern. "Oh, no. You're bleeding. Here, let me-" He reaches out to take your hand.

Your heart jumps, and you yank your hand away. "No, it's - it's fine. I'll just - put a plaster on it."

Bruce looks a little hurt. "Can I at least take a look?"

The thought of him touching you makes your heart jump again. "It's fine. I need to clean this up."

"I can clean it up. Or Tony can."

"I can clean up what?"

You groan when you hear Tony's voice. Of course he has to come back now!

He comes to a stop when he sees you. "Ooh, you don't look so good, kid."

"Sweetie, I need to take a look at your hand," says Bruce softly. "There might be some glass stuck in there."

Your heart leaps into your throat at the pet name. "Okay," you mutter, feeling like it's probably better to be sensible right now, and just let him take a look at your hand.

"Yeah, you guys go do that," says Tony. "I'll take care of things back here."

"Thanks," says Bruce as he helps you up.

He must have guessed that you're feeling a little dizzy, because he's walking slower than usual, and is keeping a firm hold on one of your arms - not enough to hurt you, but enough so that he can keep you steady.

***************************************************

Once you're sat down on the examination table, Bruce goes into full doctor mode. You'd find it adorable if you weren't trying to calm your racing heart every time he does - well, anything. Even him typing something into your chart makes you blush.

Okay, maybe I do like him. Just a bit…

"Okay," he says, as he stands up. "It doesn't look like any glass got into the cut, but you are going to need stitches."

You nod. "Okay."

Fortunately, Bruce is pretty good at stitching, so it's over very quickly, although your face has now become a raging inferno. Why, you're not quite sure. He is just doing his job, after all.

"All done," he says softly, patting your arm. "I'll just bandage it up, and then we can finish up."

By the time he's done bandaging your arm, your face feels like the surface - no, the core of the Sun, and your heart feels like it's about to explode out of your chest.

"Thanks," you mumble.

Bruce smiles softly. "It's alright. You don't have to thank me." He reaches out to help you as you stand up. "Are you okay to walk?"

You nod. "I think I'll be fine."

***************************************************

As you walk back through the lab, you notice that most of the stuff's already been tidied and put away. That's usually your job, but Tony must have taken pity on you, seeing as you're injured.

The man himself is taking a look at something on the computer. He looks up, smiling when he sees you. "Oh, hey, kid. We were going to put on a movie after we've finished up here. You want to join us?"

You pause for a moment. You're pretty tired, but you don't want to be rude. But on the other hand, watching a movie doesn't really require much energy, so…

"Okay. I'll join you. Can I go and get some stuff first?"

"Sure."

Bruce pokes his head in. "Oh, hey - Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"I forgot to tell you - the anaesthetic will probably wear off in about four to six hours."

You nod. "Okay."

"Tell me if you're starting to feel uncomfortable. I don't want you to be in pain, alright?"

You nod again as you feel the heat starting to creep up into your cheeks again.

"Y/N's joining us for the movie tonight," says Tony.

Bruce smiles. "That's nice."

"Yeah - um - see you there!"

***************************************************

What on earth is wrong with me? you wonder as you look around your room for - something, you're not quite sure what. Why can't I even stand to be in the same room as Bruce now? What's going on?

And where are my nice pajamas?

What's wrong with you, Y/N? Are you seriously trying to impress Bruce with what pajamas you wear? What kind of-

"A-ha!" You hold up the pajamas triumphantly, even though there's nobody else in the room to see them.

There's a knock on your door. "Y/N?" It's Nat. "Movie's starting in five!"

"Yeah, I know, coming!"

After changing into your pajamas and grabbing your favourite blanket, you rush downstairs.

All the girls are squished up on one sofa, with absolutely no space to spare.

And there's no way you're sitting on the boys' couch. They'll squish you half to death.

So that only leaves one other sofa in the room.

Bruce's sofa.

It's not that the others don't like him sitting with them, or that they're scared he's going to Hulk out mid-movie. He just prefers his personal space.

He must have noticed you hesitating, because he smiles, and pats the spot next to him.

Blushing, you go over, and sit down, curling up as you wrap yourself in the blanket.

Bruce moves over to give you some more space while you get yourself comfortable.

"Comfy?" he asks softly.

You nod. "Yes, thanks."

You're pretty sure Tony's had something to do with this, judging by the smirk on his face, but you ignore him, and turn to face the TV.

The first movie's good, but you'd be enjoying it a lot more if you weren't so hyper-aware of what Bruce is doing. Every time he shifts, every time he gets up to get a snack or a drink, every time he eats or drinks anything…

"Well, that was rather nice," says Thor, when the movie's over.

He starts to get up, but Tony stops him. "Where are you going?"

Thor gives him a funny look. "The movie is over. We are supposed to go to bed now, are we not?"

The room erupts in laughter.

"Thor, do you seriously not know how a movie night works?" asks Jane, wiping tears from her eyes.

He looks confused. "We have watched the movie, so we now go to bed. Is that not how this works?"

"You can watch more than one movie during a movie night."

"Oh." Thor sits back down. "Well, I did wonder what we were going to do with all those snacks."

"What snacks?" says Tony. "You ate them all!"

This results in more laughter.

"We've gotta get you up to speed with this stuff, man!" laughs Clint.

Once you've all calmed down, Nat suggests watching a medical drama.

"It's got good reviews, and it's supposed to be pretty accurate," she says.

"I think we'll let our resident doctor decide on that," says Steve, with a look at Bruce.

He blushes. "I - okay."

The show's about twenty minutes in when you hear Bruce gasp.

"Are you okay?" you whisper.

He turns to you looking absolutely horrified. "That's not how you do chest compressions!"

"What do you mean?"

"Are they compressing the patient's stomach? And their hands are all wrong. You don't put your hands like that. You put them like this-" he shows you.

And that's pretty much how the rest of the movie goes, with Bruce explaining everything they're doing wrong medically.

Not that you mind. You're not finding the movie particularly interesting anyway, and it's nice to hear Bruce talking about something he's so passionate about.

When the movie's over, everyone looks expectantly at Bruce.

"Well?"

He sighs. "Not accurate, at all."

"Really?" The sarcastic inflection in Tony's voice makes you giggle. "I would never have guessed."

"Oh-" Bruce blushes. "Sorry - was I being too loud?"

Steve smiles, and shakes his head. "Don't listen to Tony. You weren't bothering anyone."

You sigh, and slump back, suddenly feeling exhausted. "I think I might turn in now."

Everyone groans.

"Just one more movie!" begs Tony. "Please? For me? For Bruce?"

Your face burns, and you stare at the floor.

"It's okay, Y/N," says Bruce. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to."

You breathe a sigh of relief. "In that case, I think I will turn in."

And then you're out of the room before anyone can reply.

***************************************************

As you get ready for bed, you can't stop thinking about what Tony said. He more or less told all the Avengers that you have a massive crush on Bruce.

Is it really that obvious? you wonder, as you climb into bed. Am I really that unsubtle?

There's a gentle knock on your bedroom door.

"Can I come in?" It's Bruce.

You nod, but then remember he can't see you from the other side of the door. "Yes."

He steps inside. "Are you okay? You left pretty quickly. Did Tony upset you?"

You shake your head. "It's fine. I was just tired."

"Same here. It's been a long day." He pauses for a moment. "You know, we don't have any upcoming projects, so we have some days off."

You nod, wondering where he's going with this. "That's good."

He blushes. "I - I just thought you should know. Goodnight."

You feel a bit disappointed that he didn't ask you out or anything, but he is an introvert, after all. He's going to need to recharge. Fun as he is, Tony Stark is pretty exhausting to be around, and you're feeling pretty drained yourself.

And it's not like he likes you back, right?

***************************************************

Part 4 coming soon

As always, I do not give permission for anyone to copy my work, repost it elsewhere, etc.

Reblog if you think it’s okay to platonically say “I Love You” to your friends

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passionatefanficgirl

8 months ago

What the Top Gun guys would be like in the kitchen

My first headcanons! I decided to keep the x reader bit out for now, but I might put some Top Gun guys x reader headcanons up later. These were really fun to write, so I hope you enjoy!

(Let me know if you want me to write a fic with these in!)

Warnings: Mention of fires, possibly a bit OOC for Goose and young Mav

Maverick

If it's young Mav, he'll be pretty bad at cooking

I mean, he can probably heat up a tin of soup or some baked beans (do they have those in America?), but don't trust him with anything else

I can imagine him and Goose trying to bake something (think basic cake mix), and next thing you know, the fire brigade's at the door

If it's older Mav, he'll able to cook some basic things, stuff like pasta, scrambled eggs, and so on

If he does attempt baking, though, it won't be very good

Maybe it's not quite bad enough to cause a fire, but he'll probably have mixed the ingredients wrong or something, or he'll forget to grease the baking tin

Tbh it doesn't taste bad, but it probably has a weird texture or something, and will most definitely not be aesthetically pleasing

But he's so pleased with himself that he's managed to bake something without setting the kitchen on fire that nobody really wants to burst his bubble

Goose

Is a TERRIBLE cook

He would find a way to literally burn a salad

Carole had to ban him and Mav from the kitchen

Like, she loves him, but she doesn't love having to call the fire brigade every single time Goose and Mav decide to try cooking (again)

Goose thinks it's hilarious whenever he and Mav mess up - until Carole makes him and Mav scrub all the charred food out of the pans (and buy her some new ones)

She arranges to go to McDonald's with Bradley if she knows Mav and Goose are cooking that night

They'd try to teach Bradley, but Carole's not having any of it

"Hey, Bradley, want to find out how you can-" "NICK!"

Bob

I feel like Bob would probably be the best cook out of them all

But it's like a hidden talent

It's probably Phoenix who finds out

Bob is not happy at first

For one thing, he's now got to bring all the food to every. single. party

But once Phoenix manages to persuade him and makes the other guys pay for the ingredients, he'll do it

And he loves it when people compliment his food, although it makes him blush a lot

But he won't let Mav, Hangman, or any of the other bad cooks near his kitchen

He probably uses a different pan for everything (think omelette pan, milk pan, etc.)

He's probably really, really cautious about getting burned

Like if he's frying something, he will probably wear full-on oven gloves

And if he does get burned, even just a little bit, he will hold it under cold water for at least half an hour before wrapping his hand firmly in ice, and continuing to cook

That's probably why he hates being distracted while cooking

He also hates when people mess with his cooking, even if it's just giving something a little stir

Or adding some spices into a sauce he spent ages getting just right

That's one of the few times when he gets really angry

People messing up his system will turn him into a rage monster

This guy has a system for everything in the kitchen, and if you mess with it, even once, out you go

Once Hangman made the plate stack top-heavy while drying the dishes, and now he's not allowed near the cupboards

Then he messed up Bob's pans, and Bob kicked him out of the kitchen

But it's just because he loves cooking so much, and he wants everything to be perfect

And it's all worth it in the end, because his food is really delicious

Hangman

I feel like he's a barbecue guy

Like, this guy loves barbecues

In any type of weather

He would probably get the barbecue out in the middle of winter if Rooster hadn't locked it in the shed (and thrown away hidden the key)

He's also good at frying stuff (even though he drives Bob crazy by using the omelette pan to fry everything (Bob was about ready to throw a rolling pin at his head the last time that happened))

When he's not got the barbecue out, he'll fry literally anything in sight

Literally anything

He also likes deep-fried stuff (but will just get the fast food anyway because he's too lazy to set everything up)

But anything else?

NO.

Do not even let him near the tinned stuff, or you will come back to find the smoke alarm blaring, and a charred, blackened mess (probably in Bob's favourite non-stick pan)

He's also pretty bad at baking (about young Mav level)

Bob despairs of ever getting him to stop messing up the pans, so he simply won't allow Jake into the kitchens anymore

So Jake has to sneak in, make his food, and sneak out again

But Bob always catches him, mostly because Jake's cooking always smells very strongly of barbecue sauce

Rooster's already chased him out several times