Reblog To Tell Your Mutuals They’re Lovely As Fuck

Aromanticism and Otome Games

I am an aromantic who loves otome games. It may seem incredibly contradictory, especially since a common perception of otome is that it's solely wish-fulfillment games for people to insert themselves into a story where they date attractive men. There's definitely nothing wrong with playing them in that way, and many people get a lot of enjoyment out of them, but that isn't the only way to play an otome game. In fact, many otome game players prefer not to self-insert at all and I’m one of them!

My personal experience being aromantic means I do not feel romantic attraction to anyone, and I do not desire or need a romantic relationship to feel fulfilled in life. I’m perfectly happy with my platonic bonds and my perpetual singleness! That’s how I experience it, but there are many different ways to be aromantic, and there’s no one universal experience that defines how all aromantic people live their lives. Some are repulsed by romance and its overbearing presence in nearly all forms of media, and others are comfortable seeing other people experience romance despite not experiencing it themselves (though these, of course, are not the only two groups). I personally lean more towards the latter category. I love romance stories! 

For me, playing an otome game is like watching a romance movie where I get to decide who the heroine ends up with. It's like a shipper's dream! I don’t self-insert because I am not comfortable putting myself in romantic situations, but by observing a fictional couple, I can explore the romantic plots and experiences that pique my curiosity. And let me tell you, I love a good romance plot. Especially one with drama.

A comparison I like to make when people don’t seem to get it is that I also really, really love murder mysteries and tragedies, but I do NOT want to actually experience them myself. What I want for a character and what I want for myself are two completely separate things, so there’s really no contradiction! 

In fact, playing otome games was a big part of my aromantic journey in the first place. I never had crushes as a kid that weren’t forced or peer pressured. When people talk about the characters in their childhood shows that they had crushes on, I can never relate. To me, there were only interesting characters and stories. I’ve never really wanted anything more than that. 

So when my second-ever relationship ended and I was wondering whether I really felt romantic attraction at all, I decided to try otome games. 

I chose Collar x Malice as my first game because, as I mentioned earlier, I am a huge fan of mysteries and tragedies, and the premise intrigued me. Then, throughout my exploration of various otome games (and as I quickly became hooked on them) I tried some games with less developed heroines, specifically made for self-inserting, and found that I couldn’t handle them. Separating myself from the heroine helped me enjoy the games more as I realized that I didn’t actually want to be in these romantic situations myself, but only wanted to enjoy the story.

So what was the point of this whole post? I guess just to share my own personal experiences as an aromantic otome-lover and address the contradiction. Otome games aren’t necessarily mainstream-popular, but they certainly have their dedicated fans, and I’ve really enjoyed the interactions I’ve had so far with these fandom spaces. 

Sure, the primary focus of the games may be pretty boys who you can date, but otome games can also be so much more than that! It’s a genre I’m glad I decided to try. 

I’m happy to be an aro along for the ride to read some good stories, puzzle out the right route choices, and look at some aesthetically pleasing character designs along the way! :)

genre subversions of dating sims by people who don't understand dating sims are just like. "wow isn't it so pathetic that you're playing this instead of getting a real relationship?" (i don't know where "dating sim that becomes a horror game" goes on the subversion scale)

meanwhile i haven't seen one that is made by someone who loves the genre. i am worried that my "what if the love interests hated being in the game but it's because the script is too restrictive" is too mean to dating sims. i swear using a dating sim script as a metaphor for being forced into certain kinds of femininity is NOT reflective of my views of dating sims it's FINE to play dating sims--

Yeah, I agree~ I would say that the "secretly a horror game" twist kinda depends on the game and how it treats its characters. Like, Hatoful Boyfriend has a neat twist to it while still feeling like it treats its characters and story with love, so I was honestly a little surprised to find out its creator doesn't play otome at all. I haven't play DDLC personally, but I've heard a similar sort of story about its creator I think? I feel like so many people set out to subvert the dating sim genre specifically because they think of it as a joke or because they think it's so easy to replicate without any experience.

I love genre subversions, so I would love to see a good one in the otome genre. BUT~ In response to your other point, I also think that being critical of a genre you like and/or using that genre to make a critique of something like societal standards for femininity & such doesn't necessarily come across as hateful to the genre. In fact, I think that really good genre subversions DO use the genre conventions to make a critique of something (whether it's a critique of society or of the genre itself) because that's what makes the subversion interesting.

I'm gonna use one of my favorite genre subversions as an example real quick: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is a great twist on the genre conventions that exist in musical theatre as a medium, and it uses its subversion to make a critique about conformity through its main metaphor (ie: an alien hivemind makes people sing and dance and the show's hero is the one guy who hates musicals). It's a great horror-comedy that's clearly made by people who love musicals, even if its protagonist hates them and there are important plot reasons for why you really don't want your favorite characters to be singing.

BUT!! The important thing is that while it subverts expectations for what you'd expect from a musical and uses the songs & hivemind as a metaphor for enforced conformity, the show never makes the audience feel stupid for liking the genre. It's campy, and it's silly, and the main character is the voice of dissent, but it doesn't leave you with a feeling that the genre as a whole is stupid or bad, or that you're stupid for liking it. Because it's made out of love for the genre. Which is the main thing I think.

It's really important for these types of stories to critique the right things. There has to be more thought put into it than just "look at this genre, isn't it weird/stupid/bad? well we're gonna change things and be Not-Like-Those-Other-Things because we're the Cool/Edgy/Ironic Take on this genre!!" (ie: don't critique the audience or make them feel bad for enjoying the genre you chose. or do, but do it consciously and know that your audience is primarily going to be other people who dislike the genre -- which is probably why so many gag dating sims are popular since it's pretty common to look down on the genre). What I mean is, if the whole point of the critique is that the original genre is stupid, it's probably a bad and thoughtless critique.

But anywho, I think your critique is totally fine and really cool actually. It's okay to be mean to a genre you like as a form of critique, and I think it's really good actually to think deeper about the stories you love and consider them critically. The problems with genre subversion come up when people who don't really know or like the genre decide to subvert it just because they think poorly of it, y'know?

I FUCKING. FORGOT TO TELL YOU ABOUT ANOTHER MECHANIC.

okay so . if you bring a boy to the same date location three times over a save file, there are multiple conversations. BUT . if you're at high enough affection AND at the third date conversation, picking what's normally the worst possible option unlocks a special longer conversation that's cute and sweet. or hilarious. or both.

omg that sounds so cool I'll have to try that one out too!! I've definitely been reusing locations with madoka lol, but i haven't been keeping track of how many times

i love how many little details and secrets in this game it's so cool!~

aromanticism. you agree. reblog

Do you often think about which girl you would like to marry, Catarina?

have you ever stood in front of the Eiffel Tower crying on the phone to your mother?

Ah, eto... Bleh!!!

Otome Game Jam is back again!

Otome Jam & Josei Jam are returning this May! 💜

Join us from May 1st to June 30th for Otome Jam & Josei Jam, two visual novel-oriented game jams about making games for women.

Otome Jam gives you 2 months to make a romance game with a female lead (gender can be chooseable) and at least a partially male cast to date. Josei Jam gives you 2 months to make a game meant for women, regardless of romance or character genders.

General rules:

no specific themes for either - this year our banner was community-voted to be cyberpunk themed, but you can make an entry with any kind of aesthetics and themeing!

18+ content allowed

previously started games and brand new games are okay, but games finished before the jams start aren't allowed

visual novels and hybrid games allowed

These two jams are sister jams and run concurrently. New developers are welcome! We have a guide for new developers with lots of resources for making games.

Check out the itch.io pages above for more info.