I Wanna Beeeeeee Famoussssss

BSD but Atsushi really IS the agency cat. ( . . . ) Basically he's an actual cat-

When Dazai drifted down the river, he startled a stray cat who looked oddly comfortable in the water compared to most cats, swimming right past him, doing a double take, and instantly swam away from a presumably drifting dead body. Poor thing got the ever loving daylights out of when Dazai, indeed, was alive, and scurried away just before either he or Kunikida could catch it.

After almost running around the entire neighborhood and into the night, they managed to cat the cat in a warehouse, not with cat food or treats, but... tea on rice. The two stare at the cat who was being currently held up by Kunikida.

"Maybe we should call him Chazuke, hm~?" "We aren't naming the cat, we aren't going to get attached to the cat, they're just gonna be "the cat-"" "Hmmm, or would something moon-related work?" "DAZAI-!"

No one had cat allergies, more on the fact that they are major cat lovers, but having such a lovable animal in their office felt like a risk they weren't going to take; with all the various strangers walking in and out their door, sudden attacks from the Port Mafia, the reasons could go on!

So, they held off on taking care of the cat. The only ones that seemed to like him were Kenji who offered the cat vegetables from his arm...

"Here you go, little guy! Is this milk suitable?" "Oh! How about Milk!" "WE ARE STILL NOT NAMING THE CAT-!"

The Tanizaki siblings...

"Huh, seems quite the timid one..." "Awww, such a cute thing!" "Have we figured out what kind of cat it is?" "Well, Kunikida-san said to not get attached, so we haven't really figured out anything about this cat."

Haruno especially...

"Hello there, little one. Hmm, you seem to be younger than Mii-chan... At least more than a year old." "You can really tell, Haruno?" "Several signs, yes. And... they seem to be an Egyptian Mau. A majestic thing you would grow up to be, huh? " "TIGE—" "WE. ARE. NOT. NAMING. IT. TIGER!"

And secretly but unsurprisingly, the President.

"..." "Meorw?" *Takes out a sardine-*

They continued to hold off on taking the cat, calling all sorts of nearby shelters if they have enough room for it. But hearing how they're already filled to brim, if not are being overcrowded, their soft hearts didn't want this cat to be in such an overcrowded area, as timid as it is.

But slowly but surely, they figured out all their little quirks and each having a nickname for him.

Dazai would use the cat as an excuse to hold off on work, having bought cat toys despite Kunikida's arguments, calling them "Chazuke." Kenji would continue to bring a small bottle of fresh milk from his cows and an array of vegetables to see which ones they like the most, calling them "Milk" as one of Dazai's previous name suggestions. The Tanizaki siblings were the ones that made a small temporary area in the office for the cat, buying it it's necessary items and called them "Tiger." Haruno, on the other hand, would bring the cat back to her apartment for nights, seeing as none of the agents and detectives had the room for them. There, she introduces the cat whom she oddly named "Byakko" to Mii-chan, and all but took several photos on her phone of the older calico cat grooming the smaller.

Unfortunately, that domestic feeling all but vanished when the cat wandered too far into dangerous territory; their work.

The cat had unknowingly followed the Tanizaki siblings who ran into Akutagawa, the Port Mafia's Rabid Dog, after the woman that came to their office was revealed to be Higuchi, Akutagawa's subordinate and also a part of the mafia. The cat, clueless, hissed and yowled while standing in front of the siblings, yellow eyes glaring at the two mafiosi. The sight rendered Higuchi stiffling back a coo while Akutagawa just... stared in utter confusion. (And it didn't help that he was also a cat person at heart).

In the end, they were saved by Dazai regardless, but the cat seemed to glare daggers at anyone that wore black. And Dazai all but laughs at that, remarking...

"For such a timid and small cat, you were a pretty brave one , hmm? Going right up to those two and showing your mighty fangs!"

They were, of course, worried about their agents, but more to the cat who seemed to have gone quiet, not at all looking up at the sound of them shaking their toys or the clink of their refilled bowl of food. They just sat, curled up in their cat bed, back turned towards them.

Then suddenly, they vanished.

The agency, of course, went out looking for the cat, but nothing came up. For some, a relief. Maybe they had wandered off and found a better place to live. A safer place to live. But at the same time, the absence made itself loudly known, even though it was silent. The absence on the cat bed, the absence on their desks, the window sills, everywhere in the office.

"Alright, admit it." "Admit what?" "That you guys actually like that cat."

Until, all of a sudden, as Yosano dealt with Kajii on the train, she catches sight of the familiar girl in a red kimono down they walked past in the shopping district sitting at the banks of the water, a small wet ball of fur curled up tightly in her arms.

"Chazuke!" "Milk!" "Tiger!" "Byakko!" "...Did you—" "Yeah, we need to figure out a name for him now-"

Unfortunately that has to wait because even more chaos rolls into Yokohama. But besides the back-to-back fiascos between the Guild and the mysterious fog incident, were they able to breath easily, giving them ample time to have their feline friend comfortable.

Although, it was odd. The cat was seemingly the subject the Guild were after, and they had also vanished during the fog incident but was apparently there in the end fight.

"No cat should be that close to the battle. Where was he before all that happened?" "Who knows. And besides the point, no one was there in the fog besides us. Is it possible for a cat to be stuck in the fog with us?" "Are you saying the cat has an Ability???"

It was a stretch, for sure. A cat to have an Ability? If that were to be true, their knowledge of Abilities have either been wrong or how they appear has changed. Innocently but could be heard as jokingly, Kenji was the one that said something along the lines about the cat actually being human and has an entirely different Ability but got stuck as a cut. It's happened before, people having transformative Abilities.

It was supposed to be a joke, they all knew, but all of a sudden Ranpo shoots up, eyes wide.

"That's why!" "The cat stumped you?!" "Dazai, touch it!" "If you say so-"

The moment Dazai put his hand on the cat's head, a bright flash appeared and everyone stared in shock to see a young man that looked to either be in his late teens or early adulthood sitting on the ground, wearing ragged clothes, asymmetrically cut platinum blonde hair with a single stripe of white, and sheepish ametrine yellow-purple eyes.

They stared at the individual all until Dazai pulled his hand back, reverting them back to being a cat. It goes back and forth until the person, seemingly tired of the sudden shifting, grabbed Dazai's wrist when he placed it back on their head again, face entirely red to his ears.

"P-Please stop doing that." "Not unless you tell us your name~" "...Nakajima Atsushi..."

(A/N: cat cat cat cat- but besides the point, this went a completely random direction than it was supposed to be. It was just something of Atsushi being the office cat, whether or not they knew he was human or not. But then I thought about Dead Apple, blah blah blah, this has been in my drafts for a while- ANYWAYS HOPED YOU LIKED THIS RANDOM BIT-)

atsushi: ryuu :(

akutagawa: what

atsushi: have u seen my shirt? my favorite one? i cant find it - my jackets gone too

akutagawa, wrapped tightly in a blanket: why would i know

atsushi: i mean u borrow them every now and then-

akutagawa: i've done no such thing

atsushi:

akutagawa:

atsushi: ryuu take off the blanket

akutagawa: no

My hc when Atsu is being nervous he starts throws in random facts or nonsense about the Bible. On purpose or not? It depends

Also shout-out to @inamagicalhallucination and her old(?) hc Aku being Atsushi's interpreter

*after a hard and bloody mission*

rando: how can you handle so much pain?

Atsu: well do you know that lady gaga in bible...*keeps talking bullshit*

rando: what

Aku: he's fucking with your head, so he can fuck away your dumb questions out of your head

In chapter 162 of Wan! Akutagawa gets a heatstroke and then Atsushi brings him to hospital and it is just the cutest thing ever

HE PIGGYBACKED AKUTAGAWA 😭

I love them sm, also Atsushi stayed at the hospital until Akutagawa woke up<3

Atsushi caring about Akutagawa is adorable

CHUUATSU Post-Canon Idea (or I think it could be counted as post-canon):

With Fyodor defeated and the city finally once again settled in peace, the Port Mafia finally calls in their favor: one member of the Agency must join them. Everyone assumes it will be Dazai who will be demanded, after all, he was once their executive, and his mind is a weapon on its own. But to everyone's surprise, Atsushi is chosen.

Atsushi, the last person anyone would have expected to be forced into the darkness of the Mafia. Everyone is devastated, but they can't go back on the deal. They cannot afford to go to war with the Mafia so soon, not when the city is still recovering. And Atsushi, the ever sacrificing one, agrees.

Mori is no fool. He knows Atsushi won't be trusted within the organization, so he assigns him to Chuuya. More specifically, he orders the executive to keep him under constant watch, so much so that Atsushi has to live in Chuuya’s apartment, a decision neither of them is happy about.

At first, they avoid each other completely. They eat at different times, spend their time in separate spaces, and barely speak beyond what's absolutely necessary. Atsushi hates everything the Mafia stands for, and Chuuya doesn't have the patience to babysit someone who refuses to get his hands dirty. The tension is almost suffocating for both of them.

But then something changes. Avoidance slowly turns into small conversations, nothing deep, just a few comments here and there, maybe a little complaint. And then, small chats turn into sitting in the same room without any tension. Into sharing meals together. Into the comfort of simply asking what they should make for dinner. A comfort of having someone to come home to.

It takes a while for either of them to realize it, that the home life both of them dreaded has turned into something domestic. They start waiting for each other before eating. Sometimes, Chuuya brings home extra food because he knows Atsushi will be hungry. Atsushi starts cleaning up because Chuuya rarely does. The apartment, once a place of cold isolation, becomes... warm.

And that's exactly what makes them fall in love. Not the chaos and disagreements of their job, not the danger of the underworld, but the quiet moments at home, where they feel safe. Chuuya realizes he doesn't want Atsushi to lose the kindness that makes him who he is. He doesn’t want his blood Mafia black.

Their home life may be peaceful, but the Mafia isn’t. Atsushi’s refusal to bend to their ways is a problem. He’s still seen as an outsider, a liability, a weak link. There are whispers that he should be eliminated before he betrays them.

Chuuya is stuck in the middle. He still has to drag Atsushi along on missions, still has to cover for him when he refuses to kill, still has to argue. He tries his best to keep Atsushi afloat.

Despite their growing domestic peace at home, Atsushi's place in the Mafia remains uncertain. He refuses to kill, yet his strength makes him an undeniable asset. While most still don’t trust him, Mori keeps him around, watching, waiting, testing.

Everything shifts when a mission goes south. Civilians get caught in the crossfire, and while Chuuya moves to handle it the Mafia’s way, Atsushi steps in and stops him. He saves them without killing anyone, proving that he doesn’t need to play by the Mafia’s rules to win.

Mori takes notice. So does Chuuya.

It becomes clear: Atsushi won’t break. He won’t bend to the Mafia’s ways, no matter how much pressure is put on him. And instead of being frustrated, Chuuya finds himself relieved. He doesn’t want Atsushi to lose his kindness, to become numb to death.

So when the rest of the Mafia starts questioning where Atsushi truly stands, Chuuya makes his choice.

He stands beside Atsushi.

atsushi making jokes about trauma he forgot to tell the ADA is so real and true to me

like

kunikida, to dazai: imagine having a struggle meal lmao

atsushi: imagine being the struggle meal lmao

dazai: what

atsushi: what

i’m still obsessed with my hc that it’s tiring for atsushi to keep his tiger features hidden so they tend to pop out at home and it’s not uncommon to come home to an atsushi with paws ears a tail and whiskers <3 and sometimes you even open the door to see an entire tiger curled up in your bed

Life series 🔛🔝

eeper

What if BSD characters had YouTube channels (Based on this tweet)