Today,

Love Black Women

“Dark skinned and I’m stuck up (yup)”  

Views from the inflatable pool José on vocals Sara on guitar It’s the night of the fourth During the 6th month of the year We got off work Dripping and pouring w/ sweat And ended up in this lovely home Exactly where we should’ve been What a lovely mid summer moment

A brown skinned girl

I made my Animoji the other day

And I felt satisfied

seeing myself winking a buldgy bubbly wink

But it wasn’t until my friend

This man

Judged me for the way I made her look

“Whaaa? Why the frick does it look like this? Are you trying to be darker?”

I sink in my seat

“You wanna sing brown skin girl so bad. Do you wanna be darker?”

I can’t respond.

“It’s okay, I wanna be darker too.”

But that’s not what I said.

That’s not how I felt.

It took me awhile to embrace the skin that I was in.

In 1st grade I asked my teacher how to spell Carmel, chocolate, and butterscotch

I wanted to know all my delectable choices

I wanted to find the sweet spot that described me just right.

Rich and full of healthy coco goodness.

But as I grew people assumed I was mixed.

Milk + chocolate.

Maybe cookies and cream.

I was definitely called an Oreo, and at the time it made sense.

But I am mixed with my mom and my dad.

Dark Chocolate

And butterscotch.

And rich combination.

I thought I was cute because other people found my skin and curls desirable.

But they didn’t find me desirable just my lightly coated exterior.

One summer I was working hard and someone spotted me from not to far and they said ,

“Briana is that you? Damn you got crispy! I didn’t even recognize you.”

I was hurt.

I got use to the comfort I found in the hungry eyes of others.

But only when i was looked at as a delectable 9/12 months of the year.

In the summer I baked, and it shifted the way I was received.

I moved One summer, and was told that I couldn’t claim the end of the spectrum I thought I belonged on.

“You can’t be light skin. This dude is light skin. Your brown”

I said

it’s summer.

I’m tan.

it’ll fade.

Itll... fade....

My desirability will grow when my tan fades

Don’t worry

I might be a little over done now, but find me on display in the winter, you’ll see I’ll be just right for the picking.

How awful did that self loathing taste.

It took another mans validation for me to embrace my tan.

“Your not crispy, your glowing”

Your right I am

For the first time I got sum burned,

But that nap under the sun was truly worth it,

Because all the light I absorbed in that day,

I exuded over the rest of the summer.

Even though it hurt, I was walking in a skin that felt just right .

I realized that I could also be desirable in all my shades all year round.

But then in a summer of transformation, I started to feel Green.

I danced till my spirit moved,

I leaped, and twirled around the magnetic power that held me together.

Truly I was green until the mirror reminded me otherwise.

Truly I was the air,

Breathing with the sky.

I was so much more then a shade,

I was the light.

I got comfortable with me.

I validated my self , with the pleasure of existences.

The summer I turned green I couldn’t tell you what the rest of the world saw me as, nor did I care.

I WAS FREAKING GREEN!

But I recently stopped dancing.

I recently overfilled myself with things of the world and I’ve lost touch with the colors of my spirit.

So to hear,

“You wanna be brown skin so bad.. “

Felt so uncomfortable.

I have brown skin.

The world will call me black,

And I know that inside I’m green.

But my skin is literally brown.

Regardless what shade my brown takes at this point in time... it’s still brown.

It’s still just skin.

But honestly it just made me want to find myself back to the summer where I discovered I was Greene.

I wanna keep losing myself in the vibrations of the earth.

I wanna know what’s shade I’m in now, tomorrow, and the infinity of beyond.

Is it green?

or have I shifted to a saturated burgandy?

I wonder if I’ve got polka dots hidden under my layers of rich rich red.

There’s only one way to find out.

Time to deep dive out of the pools of others desires of and into the ocean of divinity that’s contained by this ever shifting brown skin.

Blooming Different

naomi campbell photographed by wolfgang tillmans for vogue us nov ‘97

This day in history is a day where LPs became popularized when Columbia Records dropped the needle on some timeless tracks ✌🏾📚