Nova-rose-greene - Nova Rose

I’m not okay

I quit my job because a brand new employee made a racist comment and I was sexually harassed as in the same day.

I quit because I was made uncomfortable. Because I do not want to live in fear. I want to be safe.

I made an announcement about it because I wanted other people to know that this was happening and this was not okay.

Everyone told me how proud they were and what steps I should take next to deal with it .

But no one asked if I was okay.

And actually I think one or two people did and my response was yes!

Because I handled it and everyone was proud of me.

But no I am not okay.

I didn’t need to be reminded of every other assault or harassment I was subjected to.

I didn’t need my ptsd to kick in

I didn’t need to be reminded that not everyone sees me as a human and I should be aware of my facticity.

Yea I did the right thing but it shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

And it still happened.

I made this account when I came out to myself.

I choose my name.

I found post that matched my style.

I’ve grown more and more into accepting myself

loving myself.

I haven’t had this app on my phone for a maybe a year now. But I think it’s worth revisiting.

I want to share what I experience

And craft my thoughts into tangible resources and references

So thanks Tumblr for helping me find myself.

Happy 3rd Birthday to me

It's my 5 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

Wow! Happy Birthday nova

You shined so bright.

And fizzled

When I met the truest form of myself

Love you

Sunflower B Rose

It malfunctioned

Love to share

Health to spare

And friends who care

Quincy Jones

I’m starting to find myself thinking about what I’m suppose to do versus what I want to do.

If the spirit says move then I move

And sometimes I stop and think ... wait

Why did I do that let me go back

But now I’m coming to a point where I don’t question it

I just go

I may think upon what just happened

But no longer am I trying to make myself comfortable

Change is uncomfortable

Change is different

But if you wanted to be comfortable you didn’t want to change

If you wanted to different then you don’t want to be comfortable

Comfort will come in the end

As your reward for the success for all your hard work

But the end is not now

The end is near

So we gotta get all the work in that was assigned before dad comes home

I was suppose to take the chicken out the freezer 2 hours ago and now he’s down the street

Don’t wait.

Do what’s asked when it’s asked

Your only wasting time

Be obedient

And see the fruits you bare

I’ve been working with the Bearded Ladies Cabaret for the last two months and it’s allowed me to re-come out. Or just accept that I’m accepted everywhere I go. And the people who see me see me, and love me .

one day we’ll look at the stars and see ourselves reflected in them in all our imposing, incredible presence ✨

I am a non binary black woman

I am a Black Femme

I am a spirit

I am a reflection of my creator

Gender performance is an expression

How we display our gender is based on our understanding of who we are.

How we perform our expression of self with the vessel were given is up to us.

I am spirit and spirit is not gendered

Man is.

Gender is a man made construct.

So if I am spirit like my creator, my reflection and expression of my spirit is based in what?

A choice

Who I was taught to be was a black femme.

How I was conditioned to perform and how I intuitively express

Is as a black femme

Who I reflect is who I was made in the image of

Generations of creators passing their image

Their expressions

Their reactions

Their performances

To me

The reflections of the range and depth of black femme, will forever continue to influence the shape of the world I be in.

It’s this lens that morphs my understanding of myself and my selfs expression.

With the understanding and encouragement

To continue to push and morph the lens

Break it if needed

And thus continuing to expand and experiment

.

.

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And lastly

If gender is a construct anyway and language can be mailable. then why not find the right words to best express for the present and future understandings of self. Facts can be temporary as the present state of a matter or idea are applicable in the present. But as time moves forward, the present does too. And previous facts only remain facts in context of their historical stand point.

Express for the present

Change your expression with your understanding.

If you’d like .

There they go again 🖤✌🏾