My Friend Cal Made This And Asked Me To Share It Because They Dont Have Tumblr And Its So Funny And Hilarious

idk

Gonna hold up a sign at the M&G that says “Gay Dads Proud of their Bisexual Daughter”

iconic for mr Darcy to write one huge letter to elizabeth to say “you were completely right, I’ve been treating you and your family like dirt and I’m ashamed of myself. I’m not trying to win you over I’m genuinely so sorry and i just wanted you to know” and then an entirely different huge letter to say “but also you said you hated me for being mean to mr wickham and if i may ☝️ I’d like to set the record about that motherfucker”

*feeding pigeons* heh. dan and phil reference

*leaving the cupboards open* heh. dan and phil reference

Reblog if a buddy of yours saw Kylo Ren take his shirt off in the shower and said that Kylo Ren has an eight pack. That Kylo Ren was shredded. Reblog if your buddy isn’t a liar.

In da clurb, we all fam

"come home and see my girl cave :)" I say flirtily. You agree, imagining a rec room with some couches and maybe a few vintage consoles. I lead you down into the basement, where I have carved out a slimy grotto with its own ecosystem. by the time you see me dive into the water and come up with a fish in my teeth, it's too late. You want to fuck me so badly.

these bitches seeds gay. good for them.

Odysseus: Penelope I am not the same person you fell in love with, I have done terrible things to get home. I understand if you can’t accept the monstrous things I have done-

Penelope: cool, could you please move this wedding bed

Odysseus: what, no!

Penelope: that’s my husband

Odysseus: Penelope I have killed so many

Penelope: I don’t give a shit

Odysseus: I sacrificed my crew-

Penelope: And I would’ve done the same

Odysseus: I am covered in the blood of the suitors

Penelope: and you look fantastic

Odysseus: I TORTURED A GOD ON HIS OWN WEAPON

Penelope: and that was incredibly sexy of you