Still Want You - JJ MAYBANK X READER

Still want you - JJ MAYBANK X READER

hello loves

you can call me Den and this is my first JJ Maybank fic and god how much i enjoyed to write it!!i hope you like it and sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

also i got inspired to write this by the song named “Still want you” by ZHU. I think the lyrics really match JJ in the show as well and i love it

i really wanna hear your true opinion on it or you can send me requests because i will def write them as soon as i can!!

xx

“I should be so hurt

‘Cause your rejection is so obvious…”

You walk down the beach, waching the big waves and John B and JJ riding them with laughs imprinted on their stupid faces you love so much. Kie and Sarah are there as well, standing on the hot sand with their swimsuits on, so as you approach them you take off your shirt and short pants, doing the same with your pair of black Vans. You glared at your boyfriend, but he seemed like he didn’t was aware of your presence yet. He was laughing, standing on the surf board and getting lost into the waves, his wet blonde hair a mess on his head. You were staring, but you just couldn’t help yourself. After a year of friendship and three months of relationship, he still have the power to leave you speechless with how amazing he is.

“Stop drolling, [Y/N]” Kie says laughing and you and Sarah imediatelly laugh with her, you having a bashful smile on your pink lips as you push a piece of hair behind your ear. You falled really damn hard for JJ Maybank.

While you were talking with the girls about the turtles and saving them after the hurricane from three days ago, John B and JJ got out of the water and approached you. But you frown in surprise and confusion as you send JJ a big ass smile, excited to finally have his presence next to you and he only waved at you, walking right into the Chateau after.

“What’s wrong with him?” Sarah asked with a frown and you don’t know what to say. You just let your fingers into sand and looked away from their confused glares. You are just as confused as they are.

“I wish I would know too..”

“John B?” Kie says with a raising eyebrow, looking at the boy who was surprisingly silent.

He just shrug while pulling Sarah closer to his wet body.

“Hey, don’t look at me like that! don’t know anything.”

You didn’t really trusted him, but you tried to ignore the knot that is growing inside your stomach.

“It’s just a JJ thing. He will come around, don’t worry [Y/N].”

But how could you? How could you not worry about JJ when that’s your job? Taking care of his impulsive ass.

“Damn, who pissed in JJ’s bong?” Pope asked with a frown as he approached you and the Pogues laughed a bit. He was just walking out of the Chateau and JJ didn’t even saw him, almost catching him between the door and the wall.

You wanted to laugh too and you tried to, but it seemed so fake.

“And I feel stupid and I cry

And I cry and I cry and I cry…”

Days later, JJ’s mood became something more than that. He was avoiding you and everyone saw it. The pogues keep telling you to have no worries, that this is something he always does and it was partially true. He has days once in a while, usually after going home, when he get really moody and his temper is shorter than usual, but back then he was never cold and indifferent towards you and the Pogues. He was still your funny and warm JJ, but just a little more angry wich always excited you, especially when you were alone. But now it was different and you just couldn’t stay like this anymore. The knot in your stomach is so big now that you have breathing issues everytime you see him leaving the Chateau as soon as you walk in.

But today you gonna talk. You didn’t care, not even another hurricane would stop you from it.

The Pogues were out on a double date, which should involve you and JJ too, but apparently you don’t act like a couple anymore. You guess that was his way of telling you to fuck off, but it hurt even more than actually hearing it from him.

“Do we have any food left?” He ask as he walks into the Chateau, thinking that he’s talking with John B.

“Yea, some cold pizza.” You say with a stern voice and you put your arms at your chest, watching him. You can’t really read his face when he saw you, but clearly it wasn’t happiness. He groaned and turned around to walk out, you stopping him by grabbing his arm.

“JJ, what the fuck? Do you think I’m stupid?”

“Nah, you’re pretty smart actually.” He simply says and shrug while walking into the kitchen, opening the fridge and looking for that pizza you were talking about.

You can’t believe how ignorant he was. It drives you insane, but you tried your best to remain calm.

“Why are you treating me like this? Like shit?”

“I’m not, that’s who I am. The door is right there if you don’t like it, princess.”

You shut your eyes and look at him, falling apart on the inside as you still try to look calm on the outside. He wasn’t seeing your face as he was still turned to the fridge, but you’re sure that he knows what he’s doing to you right now. Calling you “princess” wasn’t a compliment or a joke as he used to. It was a insult. Reminding you that you are not one of them and you will never be.

“What? JJ…What the fuck? Why-Why are you doing this to me?” You don’t even try to hide your tears as it filled your eyes, blurring your vision of him when he turned to you.

“Don’t start with emotional shits now, okay? How long have we been together anyway? 3 weeks? Not a big deal.” He grabbed a beer instead of any food and walked past you, but you move in front of him, not letting him go away from you again.

“Stop fucking lying and acting like this! This is not you, J…You love me and I know it. This is not you, baby. Just talk to me…” Your voice crack while you screamed with tears wetting your cheeks and chin. You realizing that he’s lying to you because he was always excited to remaind you how long you made it together. And hearing that it wasn’t a big deal when you give him your virginity, broke your heart in your chest in tiny pieces that stabbed your lungs, your everything, ripping you apart on the inside.

You gasp for air, not able to control yourself anymore and he throws the beer can into the door, spilling it everywhere. His whole body was tensed, his jawline and fists clenched. This was the most of emotions he had show to you in the last week.

“You’re just a kook, a spoiled daddy’s girl, how can you truly know who I am? You don’t know shit about me and my life, [Y/N]” He screams in your face and you’re whole body is shacking in pain, but you don’t take any step back. You’re stunned.

“Cause you’re not tellin me shit, JJ! You’re not telling me anything and you fucking expect me to understand you. I may not be one of you and you will never find enough in me, but I’m trying my best for fucks sake! How can I do that when I don’t even….”

You shut your mouth, watching his face as you wipped your tears away. Inside of him there was a storm that was ripping apart every piece of him because of hurting you right now. But he just can’t help it. People always leave and especially when you are rich as fuck and you have a lot more opportunites than a stupid Pogue. Why woud you stay? For what?

“You don’t even what?” He asks with a lower voice and you let out another sob, glaring right into his blue icy eyes as you talk.

“Maybe you’re true. Maybe I don’t know how you are at all.”

“Yea” He just nods his head and his wet eyes followed your body as you walked out of the Chateau, your hand covering your mouth to shut down the scream that you need to let it out.

You got into your car and you let your head on the steering wheel as you cry in silence, hearing the waves and the loud rock music that was coming from the Chateau.

How could you be this stupid? You really did believe that things will work out for you, you got along so well and you put your whole heart on the table. For him to just throw the fucking table away.

“But then I tell myself that it will be okay

But it’s not true, I still want you…”

You forgot how going out felt like.

After almost a month of not leaving your house at all, you finally accepted to go to the beach party this night. But you didn’t wanted to go with Kie and Sarah since you know they will hang out with JJ as well, so you just went with the Kooks, some of your girl friends from high school.

You keeping telling yourself that you will be fine to see him again. That you have to show him how okay you are after he broke your stupid heart. But finally seeing him at the bonfire caught you off guards and your eyes became wet. You can feel his glare on yours and when you finally have the courage to make eye contact with him, you need all the strength you find in yourself to keep calm.

He looked just as bad as you, but he was still breathtaking handsome. Even with dark circle around his eyes, a little beard growing and bloodshot tired eyes. He wasn’t joking or laughing with the others, he wasn’t flirting with the Tourons around him. He wasn’t JJ and you weren’t yourself. You couldn’t be without each other and when he sent you a little sad smile you know he realized it too.

It’s weird that after breaking your heart and calling you out without even a damn reason, you still find yourself wanting him. Your body and your heart still ache for him and his touch.

“Lately, I’ve been thinking about

All the things that we’ve been through… ”

You got up from Jessica to go to fill your cup again. Drinking makes you feel a little better and this month you really took advantage of that, drowing the memories and feelings with fancy wines and champagnes, not even trying to hide that from your father.

You almost scream when a firmly hand is placed on your mouth and pull you more into the woods. You know who this is without turning around.

“You scared the shit outta me…Stop doing that” You talk like you were cool again and you both realized that, your uncomfortable smiles showing it. He scratch the back of his neck as he put a few meters between you two. You felt that right into your heart, but he was just doing it because he know that he’s not really able to control himself around you.

“How are you?” He asks and you roll your eyes.

“This is what we gonna have now? Small talks?”

“I just wanna know if you are doing well, [Y/N].”

You want to say yes. But he raise his eyebrows at you, watching you with his clear eyes. Their color is darker now because the weak light only coming from the moon, but you know his features way too well. You used to admire and analyze him every morning when you woke up first on the couch at the Chateau. That became JJ’s room and then you and JJ’s room. You didn’t have much, but you were beyond happy.

“No, J. I’m not.”

“Lately, I regret all the fucked up

Things that I’ve put you throug…”

He is looking like he’s thinking really hard at something and you let him time. You both remaining quiet for some moments, still hearing music, laughs and screams from the beach party.

“[Y/N] I’m sorry for everything I said to you. I had to. But…I-I don’t think I can go on without you there, princess.”

You shut your eyes at the nickname. He used it again and this time it wasn’t a insult like the last time.

“Why-Why did you do it?”

He hesitated, but your wet eyes are locking on his and he know that he can’t get away with it anymore.

“Your father talked to me. He told me that if I keep the relationship with you, you won’t be going to college. That he will get you out in the street.” You can see the pain on his face as your own changed from the pain of hearing that.

Your own father did that…

You thought about ending your life and all of that because your father.

You let out a loud sob as you ran into his strong warm arms, him quickly grabbing you. He’s holding your face at the crook of your neck as you keep crying and screaming that you can’t believe that.

“I couldn’t destroy your future. You wanna go to the college. I don’t-…I can’t ruin that for you.”

You bit on your lip as tears fall on the hot skin of his neck. You close your eyes, slowly being calmed down by his presence, by the warmth of his body and his touches on your skin. You lift your head and he lean his head closer to yours, your foreheads pressed together as you whispered with your eyes now open and partially dry.

“I guess you will have a rommate at the Chateau. If that’s okay…”

“W-what?”

“Still tryna learn to be personal

Still uncomfortable being me

Still tryna learn to be vulnerable…”

“Yea, if that’s okay…You’re more important than a stupid college, JJ.”

His warms wrap around your waist, keeping you close to him and locking your eyes together. You gently touch his dark circle with the tip of your fingers and you slowly and softly kiss them, your hands running through his hair.

“I don’t wanna ruin your future, [Y/N]..Mine is ruined. If I would do that to yours, I wouldn’t be able to ever forget myself.”

“You won’t, baby stop saying that. What if-What if I will work at The Wreck? Kie won’t mind that.”

He looked away for a few short moments and then softly kiss the top of your freckled nose.

“We will see that, sweet thing.” A smile is slowly playing on his plump lips and you want so bad to kiss him right now, but there’s still is one important thing.

“But you have to talk to me, JJ. We-…We can’t have a relationship when we aren’t open up to each other.”

“I hate being-…Being vulnerable and emotional.”

You whisper “i know” but you can’t keep your smile for yourself only. You look at him with pure adoration and love.

“But I swear I will try for you.”

Your heart and legs melt at his words and you pull him to your lips but he talks again, barely touching your lips with his.

“I would give you all I have, [Y/N]. All just to see you happy.”

You bring him into the kiss, your tongue quickly meeting his and as you slowly tasted each other, the knot in your stomach is long gone. You smile into the kiss because you know that he would really do anything for your happiness and he just proved that by breaking his own hurt to hurt you.