Remus Is The Guy You Take Home To Your Parents And They Instantly Like Him More Than They Like You.

Remus: "Why are you naked and covered in oil?"

Sirius: "You know how you always say I never glisten?"

Remus: "Listen. You never listen."

Sirius: "Oh."

reasons why Snape's "redemption",

'your mum didn't let me fuck her bc im racist and called her a slur so now I'm a salty bitch',

doesn't mean shit:

a) he bullied lil children who were his students

b) he let the slytherins be assholes to any one who isn't pure-blood.

d) he caused more than one student to be insecure

e) a students boggart was snape even after the student's parents were crucio'd to insanity.

f) he caused a good hearted werewolf to loose his job bc one of his bullies didn't face the fate of getting his soul sucked out.

g) he made sure the said werewolf would remain unemployed from there on for the rest of his life.

h) he physically abused a fifteen year old, orphaned, abused, child by gripping his arm so tight that the child began to see stars and then threw him across the dungeon floor.

i) he made a hex that could literally KILL by the age of fifteen

j) he bullied the abused child feeling no sympathy towards him even tho the slimeball had been thru the same shit as a child

k) he invaded the said abused child's memory and CALLED IT GROSS EVEN THO IT WAS ONE OF THE ONLY MEMORIES THIS ABUSED CHILD HAD OF HIS PARENTS.

l) he made fun of tonks bc her patronus changed even tho the same shit happened to him.

m) he was racist in the wizarding way. he was racist to everyone except the woman he was, like I said before, he was unhealthily obsessed with.

n) he said that this woman was "different" while others, according to him, were worthy of hatred.

o) he joined the "Good" side bc the "bad" one targeted said woman.

p) he thought it was alright to have her family killed, to have everything she loved, ripped away from her.

q) he didn't care for lily's happiness, he just wanted to be a pathetic rebound.

r) he is the reason she died. voldemort found out about the prophesy bc of snape.

s) oh also, this one's for the people who say shit like "but he protected harry bc of his lOvE for lily". he "protected" Harry sometimes, like in mortal danger, bc he promised dumbledore.

t) he threatened to almost kill Trevor, Neville's toad. no wonder snape's his boggart

there's definitely a lot more and you know it.

How YA authors show their feminism

Author: so there's this girl. 🧚‍♀️She's not beautiful but she has long golden blonde/white blonde/honey brown/red hair to her waist, extremely tiny waist, blue/green/grey eyes. Now despite her lanky frame, she can wield 101047472 weapons 🗡🗡🗡🗡and she's a badass😏 and a lost princess/queen/monarch/head of a space organization.💫💫👑👑🙈🙈 Her world is filled with evil men🤢🤢🤢

It's extremely patriarchal so I can show how ✨different✨ she is

She has to work so hard to be on par with men. 🥺🥺

But she hates soft, girly women. Because they are airheads 🤬

Every plan of hers works flawlessly because she is also smOrt👌👌👌. Everyone loves her but no one bothers to call her out on her bullshit, even as she burns down cities.

She will not take your shit but she will take her creepy, immortal 1020102920 year old love interest's shit😔✌👌.

Or alternatively,

Author: so there's this girl🧚‍♀️

She's the best!!! The smartest!!! But she's very plain (jk, she has eurocentric features and make up transforms her into a swan 🤪🤪)

Kinda bossy and nagging but it's cute☺️☺️

Has one (1) female friend so that she has a someone to call her best friend without any scrutiny. Usually more popular than her😒

She can do a ton of questionable things, hit her love interest, manipulate people around her, physically harm "traitors". She also hates those gossipy bitches those girls who don't study😱 but are popular and play sports and like makeup 😱😱

But that's okay. She's not like them. She's a badass feminist💫💫🗡🗡

So everyone will just like her actions and she'll never need to develop or have character growth because she's strong and my fAvouRitE

Or alternatively,

Author: my main girl looks exactly like me🤪🤪🤪

She's the most beautiful, but kinda plain and doesn't think of herself much because she's that kind and that good🥺🥺🥺

And she manages to make a broody, abusive angsty bad boy change for her. 🥺💫❤❤

You know how? Because she's not like other girls😤😤😤

They wear makeup. She doesn't because it's 💫fake💫

They're all boring plastics, gossiping bullies and she's quirky and nerdy and clumsy and like reading books and drinking tea and being alone.🍵🍵☺️☺️

And the bad boy wants her because she is sassy with him🤪🤪 and wants to change him🥺🥺❤❤🙈🙈. Doesn't matter that he's emotionally, verbally, physically abusive.

What, the boys?

Oh they'll all be hot, 6+ feet, abs, black/blonde hair, gemstone eyes, pale skin, no scars unless they're hot, no acne, nothing except American or European😍😍😍🥵🥵🥵 and seventeen/eighteen so it's not creepy and pedophilic for me to write some sexy times😏😏😏

And other than that... eh not much. They're just there for the romance. It's not like we can create good role models right🤔😒

Setting: mostly America, European middle ages, Europe, or alternatively, Victorian era, futuristic Europe. No mentions of colonization or genocide because what's research?☺️✌

You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.

Anne Lamott

Sirius Black, at some point: I don’t really get along with my mom unless she’s buying me stuff

[Sirius and Remus glaring at each other]

James: Do you smell that?

Peter: *sniffs* What?

James: *points at Sirius and Remus* The scent of sexual tension in the air.

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

Kaz: I am the stone cold, emotionless bastard of the barrel

Inej with her Suli Proverbs: I’m about to end this man’s entire career

I NEED SOMEONE TO MAKE THE GRISHAVERSE CHARACTERS IN DESI STYLE:

Zoyalai in traditional Indian clothes (Zoya in a royal blue lehenga with a golden dupatta and Nikolai in a black kurta with sleeves rolled up and top button open)

All grishaverse women wearing lehengas/sarees

Inej in a wine coloured lehenga

Kaz and Inej having and Indian style wedding with Kaz in a sherwani

Wesper in sherwanis

The crows celebrating diwali in their pretty clothes with diyas and lights

Zoyalai wedding Indian style

DESI MALINA

SOMEONE DRAW THESE FOR ME I AM BEGGING YOU 🥺🥺🥺

I Read A Court of Silver Flames Because I Guess I Just Hate Myself Now

Here’s a fun fact about me: I work in a hospital emergency department. Some shifts, I hit a point where we’re short-staffed, there are sixty people in triage, ambulances are calling in every 2.5 minutes, everybody has COVID and/or bedbugs, and I’m running on adrenaline, half a protein bar, and a metric fuckton of cold black coffee. I realize it’s not going to get better, so I embrace it. I lean into the shitshow, and it’s almost like ascending to a higher state of consciousness.

It’s a point where, someone could literally take a shit on my shoes while naked and screaming obscenities (this has happened), and I’m just like, IS THAT ALL YOU GOT? BRING IT ON! When I hit that point, I am fucking invincible.

That’s where I’m at with SJM books, and… ACOSF almost broke me anyway.

I might be done after this one. Either way, I’m going to have to take a long, hard look at every life choice that brought me to the last two days I spent reading this book.

Hold on tight, everyone, because this book is a dumpster fire of such epic proportions, I wouldn’t use its pages to wipe my ass. This is a very long recap, and I had to cut a LOT just so it wouldn’t be a novel by itself. CW for a truly astonishing amount of slut-shaming, piss-poor treatment of mental health and addiction issues, and multiple graphically detailed sexual assaults.

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